Umqolo ka-Anna Rozanova malunga nento ejongene nayo abazali abaninzi, kodwa oko kusathatyathwayo.
I-MAMS iyathetha omnye komnye ngezinto ezininzi. Malunga nesondlo somntwana kunye nokubanda kwayo. Malunga nezantsi kwesiseko somhlaba kunye nokudinwa. Malunga nokuthanda umntwana wakho kunye nempumelelo yakhe. Nokuba ukuzalwa komntwana ngamanye amaxesha xelelane. Kodwa kukho izihloko ongathethi nje.
Kubonakala ngathi ndiyafuna, kodwa ngequbuliso kumthambo, kwaye amagama awashiyi. Ngamanye amaxesha kubuhlungu ukuthetha ngezi zihloko, ngamanye amaxesha ukoyikisa. Kutheni le nto inene ilungile? Kwaye kuphela unengxaki enjalo. Masithethe malunga nemixholo emnyama yomama namhlanje.
Xa ugqirha emva kokuba i-ultrasound ndibeka isifo "sokukhulelwa okukhulelwa", enye yeengcinga zam zokuqala yayisithi: "Kwenzeke njani into eyenzeka kum? Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, nayiphi na intombazana yam ayizange yenzeke ncam. "
Iintsuku ezimbalwa ndimba iindaba. Kwabonakala kum ukuba ndingoyena mntu ungathandekiyo emhlabeni. Okanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba ndenze into engalunganga? Kwenzeka njani ukuba bonke abantu basetyhini banomntwana ukuba banyamezele, kwaye andikhange ndisebenze.
Emva koko kwafuneka iiveki, ukucoca, kwaye ekugqibeleni, xa yonke into, ngaphandle kwenxeba entliziyweni, elaliphilisiwe, ndagqiba kwelokuba nesabelo nomntu.
Sisela iti nentombi, kwaye ndamxelela ngento eyenzeka kum kwezi veki. "Ngaba ucinga? Kwenzeke njani into eyenzeka kum? " Intombi yentombazana yakhe: "Nam. Kwiminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo ".
Ukususela ngoko, ndigqibe kwelokuba ndithethe ngokuhleleleka, kwaye amabali afanayo andiwe njengeempondo zentabalala. Iintombi, izalamane, izalamane zentombazana yandibhalela imiyalezo kwaye ndaxelela amabali abo. Kwaye ndacinga, kwaye bangaphi enye into ekhoyo enxulumene nokudideka, esingathethi ngaso?
Kuthekani ukuba sithetha ngokusesikweni malunga nokuba singabakholwanga ngokungabakholwanga gesi okanye ngokuchaseneyo - ukungavumi ukuba nabantwana? Ukuzisola Ngobomi kumntwana? Ukudinwa, uxinzelelo, i-suopy? Ngaba oku kuya kunxiba iingcinga ezimnyama kuya kuba lula xa bebelana nabanye? Ngaba siya kuziva sindedwa ukuba ufunda malunga nengxaki efanayo kwi-Intanethi?
Kum, impendulo yale mibuzo ayiqinisekanga ewe. Ngalo mhla, xa ndandithetha malunga nokukhulelwa kwam okwenzakeleyo, andikhange ndisebenze kancinci. Kodwa ndaziva ndinenxalenye yoluntu lwabanye abafazi abadlula njengam. Ndenzekile, kodwa andisabi ndedwa.
Ke zeziphi ezi ntloko esingafuni ukuthetha ngantoni?
Iingxaki zempilo okanye uphuhliso lwabantwanaIsihloko sesifo sihlala sinzima. Kodwa ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba silula kwizifo zethu, emva koko xoxa ngokuba ngumntwana wakho ngamanye amaxesha wenzakalise kwaye uneentloni. Akumangalisi ukuba abo bajikelezileyo, kubandakanya nolwazi, bahlala bekulungele ukungasiqondi igwetywe kaMama, ukuba umntwana akaziphathi kakuhle njengoko oku kubonakala ngathi kufanelekile.
Kwanakumazwe asentshona, apho amathuba ophuhliso okanye amathuba anqongopheleyo akasekho umqobo emntwaneni ukuba atyelele isikolo esiqhelekileyo, amayeza ahlala azifumana eyedwa ngeengcinga zabo, amava angenangqondo yonke into eyenzekayo .
Uxinzelelo lwe-PostPartumUxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo luyahlupheka, ngokutsho koqikelelo lwahlukileyo, ukusuka kwi-8 ukuya kwi-20 pesenti yabasetyhini, oko kukuthi, ngaphezulu kwesi-10 kuthi. Ijongene nabafazi abaninzi ngakumbi kunabo.
Umzekelo, andizange ndimamkeli eyam. Ndandinobunzima kwaye ngenxa yesizathu esithile siphantse ngalo lonke ixesha esibuhlungu, nangona ndinoyolo umntwana wam kwaye wamthanda kakhulu. Ndacinga ukuba wonke umntu unzima. Kodwa emva koko kwiinyanga ezintandathu, ngequbuliso ndaphuma kwigumbi elinezinto emoyeni. Kwaye ujonge emva kuqala ukuqondwa ukuba yayixinzelelo.
Ndandinethamsanqa ukuba ndibambe ukukhanya kwaye ndimfutshane ukhetho lwayo, olukhethekileyo lwam. Kwaye okwangoku, ndizisola ngabo bahlungu iinyanga ezintandathu. Ukuba bendisazi ukuba oku, kwaye ekuhambeni kwexesha wafumana ugqirha, iinkumbulo zam zeenyanga zokuqala zonyana wam ziya kuba lula.
Kubuhlungu ukucinga ngabo bantu baziva bembi, belusizi, kwaye bengasiqondi isizathu.
Ukuzisola ngobomi kumntwana okanye ngaphandle komntwanaKwinyanga enye emva kokuzalwa kwentombazana elindelweyo, intombi yam isuswe kwisofa yam: "Ndiyamthanda kakhulu. Kodwa khange ndicinge ukuba ngoku iya kuba yiyo endaweni yayo yonke into. Akusayi kubakho hambo, ithiyetha, i-cinema, iindibano ezinabahlobo ngobusuku. Nokuba itshizi ye-curd ayinakubakho, kuba intombi ke yiyo i-colic. "
Ndihlala ndihlala (kwaye ngakumbi rhoqo kwi-Harrantine) Ndeva izikhuzo zabahlobo abangenamntwana: "Ukuba ubi nomntwana wakho, kutheni uzala?" Mhlawumbi samzale, hayi ukuqonda kude kube sekupheleni, kuya kwenzeka njani ukuba ubomi bethu kule nto. Okanye, mhlawumbi bayaqonda, benza isigqibo. Kodwa oku akurhoxisi into esinokuyilangazelela kakhulu kwixesha elidlulileyo, inkululeko kunye nokungakhathali.
Xa sithetha malunga nokuba siyazisola ezinye izinto ebomini, oku akuthethi ukuba sincinci njengomntwana wakho. Oku kuthetha ukuba sinesibindi sokubiza izinto ngamagama abo.
Ukungakwazi ukukhulelwa kwaye ukunxibaNgendlela, kubahlobo abangabani nabazali. Ngamanye amaxesha kunokubakho intlungu yokusilela koxolo lwangaphandle.
Kanye kwitafile yosapho, umhlobo wam wayengenakuyima imibuzo emileyo "Uya kuba ngumntwana?" Kwaye wagqiba kwelokuba angadibani: "Iimpazamo ezintathu, ukukhulelwa komkhenkceni omnye kunye nemiminyaka emihlanu yemizamo."
Asithethi kwesi sihloko sivela kwintlungu, kodwa iwayini idla ngokuba yintlungu. Igama elithi "ukugculelwa" ngesiRashiya, njengokulahleka "ngesiNgesi, kuthetha ukuba awuzange usebenze ukuze ugcine umntwana, nangona kungekho nto emhlabeni engafuni ngakumbi.
Nellyubov emntwaneniOmnye wabazali ababumnyama abo bazali, ngaxesha ukusuka ekuhambeni kwexesha baphakama kwindawo ethile - uhlala engaziwa: "Ndiye ndabona ukuba andimthandi umntwana wam." Hayi indlela ekunzima ngayo ukuvunywa kule nto, ukuba ndingakhankanyi ukuba umntu wabelana ngale mvakalelo nomntu. Kodwa nakwimeko ebonakala ngathi ayinathemba, ungathatha into.
Ukungathandi - imvakalelo entsonkothileyo, ethi, enoncedo lwengcali, unokuthi unokubalisa izinto ezithile - kwaye ufumane ukhetho, indlela yokwenza inxenye yalo ubuncinci.
Kodwa ukuze ufumane amandla okuthetha ngengxaki enjalo, kufuneka uphinde ukholelwe ukuba awuwedwa. Kwaye xa ndikwindawo endikujongisi ngayo liva kuphela amabali omntu malunga nothando oluncinci kumntwana, kuya kuba nzima ukuyikholelwa kakhulu.
Iingxaki zempilo ezihlazisayo emva kokuhanjiswaBangaphi kuni abaye bahlangabezana nokungakhathali emva kokuzalwa komntwana? Ungaphumla ngokupheleleyo kwaye uqhube nge-run kunye nabantwana okanye udlale imidlalo ngaphandle kokujonga, iphi eyona ndlu yangasese?
Phakamisa izandla zakho, awuwedwa. Ayisiyiyo enye kuphela- ukhulu kakhulu!
Kwaye ngoku phakamisa izandla zakho, ngubani owathetha ngale nto ubuncinci? Ngoku izandla zincinci kakhulu. Kanye xa ndihamba ndicela i-cafe ukuya kwindlu yangasese nomntwana. Ndaxelelwa ukuba: "Ukuba ufumana umntwana, siya kumthoba. Kwaye awukho. " Kwaye ngendlela, yayingumntwana onesigebenga zam kangangokuba ndiwakhamisele kakhulu yonke into endiyinze ngayo ngoku andikwazi ukuhamba naye ngaphandle kokungena kwindlu yangasese ixesha elide. Kwaye ayithembekanga!
Oku kunye nezinye iingxaki zempilo emva kokuzala komntwana azinazintloni.
Uwukhule umntu wonke. Kucacile ukuba emva kokuba umzimba uqhutywa kwezinye iindawo. Vumela ukubandakanywa kokulungiswa kwe-laser yendlela yomchamo kwi-inshurensi yasimahla kuya kuthatha iminyaka elikhulu. Kodwa ukuba asithuli ngayo, ubuncinci sifezekise into yokuba i-cafe iya kuvumela uMama ukuba aye kwi-pee.
Intlungu yomzimba inokubangela umntwanaXa ndandikhulelwe, umhlobo wam unentombi eneminyaka emibini ubudala wathi: "Awuyi kukholwa ukuba loluphi uhlobo lwentlungu eyomeleleyo enokubangela i-crum enjalo."
Khange ndikholelwe. Ndiyayiqonda le nto wayethetha ngayo, kwiveki emva kokuzalwa komntwana. I-kitten yam encinci engenaziphako inqunyanyisiwe kakhulu esifubeni sakhe esifubayo esinemastitis endiyibonileyo.
Nokuba oyena mntwana omncinci onobuhlobo unokumfowunela ngokulula umama kwi-Elbow entweni ukuze ahambe ukuya kwi-Eyeece ngokukrokrela ukrokrela. Ngelixa ndibhala eli nqaku, ndithatha iimbambo zam amaxesha ngamaxesha ukuya ngasekunene - namhlanje i-kg yam endiyithandayo i-stound ityhafile esifubeni sam ngasemva kwesofa.
Iinkwenkwezi emehlweni okutyibilikisi entloko entloko ayisiyonyani ukusuka ku "Tom noJerry", kodwa inyani yemihla ngemihla yabantwana abaphezulu iminyaka emibini.
Isizungu, iingxaki kubudlelwane, umgama kubahloboMhlawumbi abanye babahlobo abanabo abantwana, kwaye ngoku kunzima kuwe ukuhlengahlengisa iintlanganiso phantsi kwesigqi. Mhlawumbi ukuya kwenye indawo okanye de cinezela iqhosha lefowuni ayihlali ixesha namandla. Nokuba ziziphi na izizathu, uninzi lwethu emva kokuzalwa komntwana laziva lodwa kunangaphambili.
Kungabonakala ukuba lilungu elitsha lentsapho- kodwa kutheni le ntsapho yaqala ukuqhekeza imithungo?
Zonke izifuba ezincinci kubudlelwane kunye neqabane zihlala ziphantsi kweglasi eyomeleleyo yokudinwa, ukucaphukisa, uloyiko lokwenza into ephosakeleyo.
Ukusondela komzimba kuhlala kunjalo kuya kuba ngaphantsi kwaye jikelele kwelinye. Nangona kunjalo, umzimba ukhulule nje kakhulu kwaye iihormones ziya kutsiba apho kwaye apha. Kwaye endaweni yokonwabela ukusondela, sihlala siziva sodwa kwisiqithi sentlango, ngelixa abanye abahlobo bethu kunye nokuqhelazane nabo bakwindawo ethile kunye.
Ukungafuni ukuba nabantwana okanye abantwana bonke"Kwaye nini yesibini / yesithathu / intombazana / inkwenkwe?", "Utshatile njani iminyaka emi-5, kwaye xa abantwana bekuphela?", "IChestics iyakhawuleza."
Kwaye ukuba awufuni abantwana - ngaphezulu okanye konke konke? Kuthekani ukuba wanelisekile bubomi obunayo ngoku, kwaye abafuni kutshintsha nantoni na kuyo? Akwaba kunokwenzeka ukuba siyiphendule yonke le mibuzo: "Ndi (ngakumbi) Andifuni ukuba abantwana," kwaye bangazihlanganisi izityholo ze-egos, akukho ntetho uLongey egcwele ubudala.
Bangaphi abantu baba ngabazali kwisihlandlo sokuqala, okanye kwesithathu okanye okwesithathu kungenxa yokuba babefuna ngokwenene lo mntwana, kwaye ngenxa yoxinzelelo lwabanye?
Imvakalelo esisigxina yetyalaKe sifike kwindawo yokugqibela kuluhlu. Ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala kum ukuba, njengeambrela, igubungela zonke ezi zihloko. Esi sihloko sisiphoso esihlala sinetyala. Inxalenye yezi zihloko zithe cwaka kuba ibuhlungu kakhulu ngabo. Kunye nenye - kuba zineentloni ngazo. Ndineentloni ukuba senze into kwenye indawo engalunganga. Kwaye uninzi lwazona ukuba sithetha ngalo, emva koko bangcatsha umntwana wakho.
Kodwa uthando kunye nokunyaniseka (okungenani nokunyaniseka kubo) yiya isandla.
Awudingi ukuba uhambe ukhwaze ngengxaki yakho kwisitrato sonke. Yazi nje: Ukuba, ngelixa ufunda eli nqaku, ubuncinci umxholo uphendule ngaphakathi- awuwedwa. Sininzi kuthi. Ukusuka kule nto akuyi kuba buhlungu kakhulu ngoku, kodwa mhlawumbi kuya kuba nzima.
Isafundwa ngesihloko
