Devotion and loyalty are important qualities of a mature personality, provided that they are cultivated by a person consciously, and not from the fear "to be caught" in a piquant pose. This is true and to a man, and to a woman, despite the eternal violent polarization of the inhabitants of the Earth in sexual sign.
Why did men always demand from women of devotion?
A man must be sure that children born in this woman are his offspring, his genetic line. No one ever wanted to invest resources in Bajsturyukov, Bastardov and other "illegitimate" offspring (names changed depending on the era and estate, but the essence remained the same).
By the way, women are the same. Children born from Ajulter (husband had a mistress, and she risked to preserve pregnancy), can never be recognized and accepted by a legitimate wife (if only she is devoid of self-esteem and completely hopeless).
A man needs to know that in his absence (travel, army, staying in places of imprisonment, long-term stationary treatment) Woman will observe intimate inviolability. The wife, "used" by others during periods of the absence of a husband, a normal man causes disgust and rejection. Yes, and to be given a "cuckold" - an unenviable fate.
It's nice to realize that a woman who loves a man is ready for a lot for him. At first, women who sacrific themselves for the chief of the chief of things are important for themselves, urshant pride. Yes, how! True, over time it comes (but about it below).
A devoted woman is more indulgent to the weaknesses of a man. She is obedient and predictable. Her "faithful service of her husband" (many modern women courses from this Domostroevian pathos) guarantees a calm, measured life. After all, this will all forgive and still in the soul thanks her husband for chosen as a spouse and continues to live with her under the same roof. I do not exaggerate. Job with case with rural women, 40-year-old and older. This is about them.
If the mother of the man was a devotee, a timid housewife, then the choice of such a spouse will be an anticipated phenomenon in the overall generic scenario. And the most calmer, and the elderly parents - consolation.
How does devotion become a heavy burden?
Everything is bored. Especially unnecessary demonstrated, imposed. The effect of "Demian's Eyes". So far, a young hostess who worried about the husband who has not yet worn in the house, which causing it, causing him, causes lunizing. "My girl, do not worry, you cook / wash / wash the floors. I am glad".
Then this "girl" misses and causes hardly aware of irritation. "Well, how much can you kill? Why is she not interested in what is so capturing me? Are infinite shares in dishwashes or queues for cheap pantyhose - is it all what she lives? "
Yes all. But after all, you chose this and in every way encouraged it to the routine of life. How the men themselves speak in such cases: "Something she completely climbed." Sad.
The loyalty of such wives is perceived as something of granted, there is nothing special advantage or following the internal Code of honor, but simply - the ordinary quality of a married woman.
If an absolutely impossible situation arises, and such a housewife boring to her husband allows himself a "novel on the side", then in response, she gets invisible in their destructive power of insult (based on the perplexity of her husband, that his "home chicken" someone else is interesting and "How did she dare ???").
There is no jealousy or her share is small. Jealous - when the value is, they are afraid of losing, suffer. And here - annoyance, rage, desire to "return the" kitchen affiliation "in place. As one of the customers said at a consultation with a psychologist, "I would rather believe that my washing machine would run away - a new, expensive, high-quality ... And my wife was perceived by me as an appendage to expensive household appliances."
In what cases loyalty becomes highly valued quality?
I do not want to write the word "dedication", because It lies a little with the image of a successful, dominant, proud woman. They consider pets to be pet, sometimes a servant working in the house for decades. But not yourself. Loyalty sounds better.
So:
1. Loyalty is not meant by itself, as a certificate issued together with a marriage certificate. This is a choice of a woman who does not affect the opinion of others or some extensive stereotypes. The source of such a loyalty is a sense of self-esteem, respect for itself and to the chosen one. Woodiness to "Kukharkoy Jasos" somewhere behind the stove. My family. My husband. Clean and transparency of relationships in marriage.
2. There is no guarantee that the woman will forever stay nearby. She does not "stick" to her husband, he does not swear in eternal love, does not prove anything. In some ways it always remains unknown, unpredictable, the presence of mystery is felt. Remember the "stranger" by A. Blok? And, not read at all ... well, it is clear. Dominant women are reading. This is a classic, at all times.
3. The loyalty of a woman involves the absolute loyalty of a man. No fantasies about "polygamy", "the influence of the sexual constitution", "I do not remember how it happened." For a real woman, the treason of her husband is equivalent to betrayal. With automatic discontinuation of relationships.
4. Around the beautiful, intelligent, charming woman is always full of men. It will not be scented and lowered eyes if someone invites her to dance, give flowers in connection with a professional holiday, make a compliment. She has no shortage of fans. She enjoys their attention, it emotionally feeds her, gives a feeling of a holiday around her person. It is the loyalty of such a woman who is most appreciated.
And one more little secret: observing the loyalty to her husband, remember loyalty to myself. Never betray yourself, do not detract your person in his eyes, put yourself in the first place in my own and his life.
Author - Oksana Arkadyevna Filatova
Source - Springzhizni.ru.