Ukuzinikela kanye nokwethembeka kuyizimfanelo ezibalulekile zobuntu obuvuthiwe, uma nje zihlakulelwa ngumuntu onokulumba, hhayi ukwesaba "ukubanjwa" endaweni yokuphamba. Lokhu kuyiqiniso futhi kumuntu, nakuwona wesifazane, naphezu kokomoya onobudlova abangodlame lwabahlali emhlabeni ocansini.
Kungani amadoda ahlala efuna abesifazane bokuzinikela?
Indoda kufanele iqiniseke ukuthi izingane ezalwe kulo wesifazane ziyinzalo yakhe, umugqa wakhe wofuzo. Akekho owake wafuna ukutshala izinsiza eBajSturchukov, iBastardov nakwezinye izisebenzi ezingekho emthethweni (amagama avumelekile "ashintshiwe ngokuya nge-ERA nezezakhiwo, kepha uMose wahlala enjalo).
Ngendlela, abesifazane bayalingana. Izingane ezizelwe yi-Ajulter (umyeni ziye zaba nenkosikazi, futhi wafaka engcupheni yokulondolozwa kokukhulelwa), angaze aqashelwe futhi amukelwe ngunkosikazi osemthethweni (uma kuphela engenathemba lokuzethemba futhi ngokuphelele.
Indoda idinga ukwazi ukuthi lapho ingekho (ukuhamba, amabutho, ukuhlala ezindaweni zokuboshwa, ukwelashwa okuhlala isikhathi eside) Okwelashwa) kowesifazane kuzogcina ukungabonakali okusondelene. Unkosikazi, "usetshenziswe" abanye ngezikhathi zokungabikho kwendoda, indoda evamile ibangela ukwenyanya nokwenqatshwa. Yebo, futhi unikezwe i- "Cuckold" - isiphetho esingabonakali.
Kuhle ukubona ukuthi owesifazane othanda indoda ulungele kakhulu. Ekuqaleni, abesifazane abazidela induna yenduna yezinto babalulekile bona uqobo. Yebo, kanjani! Kuliqiniso, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuyeza (kepha ngakho ngezansi).
Owesifazane ozinikele uwukuzithathela ubuthakathaka bendoda. Uyalalela futhi uyabikezela. "Inkonzo yakhe yokwethembeka yomyeni wakhe" (izifundo eziningi zanamuhla zabesifazane ezivela kulezi zinhlaka ze-Domostroevian) ziqinisekisa impilo ezolile nelinganiswayo. Yize kunjalo, lokhu kuzomthethelela sonke futhi kusemphefumulweni ngibonga umyeni wakhe ngokukhethwa njengomlingani wakhe futhi uyaqhubeka nokuhlala naye ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo. Angikweqisi. UJobe necala labesifazane basemakhaya, aneminyaka engu-40 nangaphezulu. Lokhu kumayelana nabo.
Uma umama wale ndoda wayengumfihlo, umfazi wasendlini onamahloni, khona-ke ukukhethwa komlingani onjalo kuzoba yinto elindelwe esimweni esijwayelekile. Futhi ezokwehliswa kakhulu, nabazali abadala - induduzo.
Ukuzinikela kuba njani umthwalo osindayo?
Konke kunesithukuthezi. Ikakhulukazi okungadingekile kukhonjisiwe, okubekwe. Umphumela we- "Amehlo kaDemoni". Kuze kube manje, umhambeli osemusha owayekhathazeka ngomyeni ongakaze ugqoke endlini, ebangela ukuba yakhe, azenzele ukujabulisa. "Intombazane yami, ungakhathazeki, upheka / ugeza / ugeza phansi. Ngiyajabula".
Lapho-ke le "ntombazane" iyaphuthelwa futhi ibangela ukuba ngazi ukucasuka. "Hhayi-ke, ungabulala malini? Kungani engekho nendaba nalokho okungithumba kanjalo? Ingabe amasheya angenamkhawulo ezitshalweni noma emigqeni ye-pantyhose eshibhile - ingabe konke kuyinto aphile ngayo? "
Yebo konke. Kepha emva kwakho konke, wakhetha lokhu futhi ngazo zonke izindlela zikhuthaze ngendlela yempilo. Ukuthi amadoda akhuluma kanjani ezimweni ezinjalo: "Into ayikhuphukayo ngokuphelele." Kudabukisa.
Ukwethembeka kwabafazi abanjalo kuthathwa njengokuthile okunikezwe, akukho lutho olunenzuzo ekhethekile noma ukulandela ikhodi yangaphakathi yodumo, kodwa kalula - ikhwalithi ejwayelekile yowesifazane oshadile.
Uma kuvela isimo esingenakwenzeka, futhi umfazi wendlu onjalo onesidina kuye uyazivumela ukuba "inoveli eceleni", khona-ke, angabonakali emandleni abo abhubhisayo (asuselwa ekucasukeni komyeni wakhe, ukuthi " Inkukhu yasekhaya "omunye umuntu iyathakazelisa futhi" waze wabona kanjani? ").
Akunaso umhawu noma isabelo sakhe sincane. Unomona - lapho inani, besaba ukulahlekelwa, bahlupheke. Futhi lapha - ukucasuka, ukufutheka, isifiso sokubuyisa "ukuzihlanganisa kwekhishini" endaweni. Njengoba omunye wamakhasimende asho ngokubonisana nodokotela wezengqondo, "Ngingahle ngikholwe ukuthi umshini wokuwasha wami uzobaleka - i-New, ebizayo, ebiza kakhulu ... Umkami watholwa yimi njenge-appendage emndenini obizayo izinto zokwenza izinto. "
Kukuziphi izimo ukuthembeka okubaluleke kakhulu?
Angifuni ukubhala igama elithi "ukuzinikezela", ngoba Ilele kancane ngesithombe sowesifazane ophumelelayo, ovelele, oqhoshayo. Babheka izilwane ezifuywayo ukuba zibe isilwane, kwesinye isikhathi inceku isebenza endlini amashumishumi eminyaka. Kepha hhayi wena. Ukwethembeka Kuzwakala kangcono.
Ngakho:
1. Ukwethembeka akusho ukuthi uqobo, njengesitifiketi esinikezwe kanye nesitifiketi somshado. Lokhu kungukukhethwa kowesifazane ongathinti umbono wabanye noma amanye ama-stereotypes anzulu. Umthombo wokwethembeka okunjalo uwumuzwa wokuzithemba, ukuzihlonipha yena nakulowo okhethiwe. Izinkuni ku "Kukhurkoy Jasos" kwenye indawo ngemuva kwesitofu. Umkhaya wami. Umnyeni wami. Ihlanzekile futhi ibe sobala kobudlelwano emshadweni.
2. Asikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi lona wesifazane uzohlala njalo eduzane. 'Anamathele' kumyeni wakhe, akafunga uthando lwaphakade, alufakazi. Ngandlela-thile kuhlala kungaziwa, kungalindeleki, ukuba khona kwemfihlakalo kuzwakala. Khumbula "umfokazi" ngo-A. Blok? Futhi, hhayi ukufunda nhlobo ... Hhayi-ke, kuyacaca. Abesifazane abavelele bayafunda. Lokhu kuyinto yakudala, ngaso sonke isikhathi.
3. Ukwethembeka kowesifazane kuhlanganisa ukwethembeka ngokuphelele kwendoda. Ayikho imicabango mayelana ne- "Polygamy", "ithonya loMthethosisekelo wezocansi", "Angikhumbuli ukuthi kwenzeka kanjani." Ngowesifazane wangempela, ukuvukela kabusha komyeni wakhe kufana nokukhaphela. Ngokuyeka okuzenzakalelayo kobudlelwano.
4. Owesifazane omuhle, ohlakaniphile, obukekayo uhlala egcwele amadoda. Ngeke ikwazi ukwehla futhi ihlise amehlo uma othile emmema ukuthi adanse, anikeze izimbali maqondana neholide lobuchwepheshe, ancome. Akashongo labalandeli. Uyakujabulela ukunaka kwabo, kuyamdla ngokomoya, kunikeza umuzwa weholide elizungeze umuntu wakhe. Kungukuthembeka kowesifazane onjalo olwazisa kakhulu.
Futhi imfihlo eyodwa encane: Ukubona ubuqotho kumyeni wakhe, khumbula ukuthembeka kimi. Ungalokothi uzikhaze, ungaphazamisi umuntu wakho emehlweni akhe, uzibeke endaweni yokuqala ngeyami nempilo yakhe.
Umbhali - I-Oksana Arkadyevna Filatova
Umthombo - Springzhizni.ru.