Utata okanye hayi utata
Ngeendlela ezininzi, ubudlelwane bexesha elizayo bomntu omtsha kunye nomntwana uxhomekeke kwindima yobomi bomntwana. Ukuba utata usebomini bomntwana, wenza imisebenzi yakhe, nangona engahlali nawe, yonke into ilula kakhulu. Umntu omtsha okhethiweyo uya kuba nakho ukuba ngumhlobo opholileyo, i-comrade ephezulu. Uya kuba nakho ukuchitha ixesha nomntwana, kodwa yonke imiba yokukhutshelwa, impilo kunye namanye amanqaku abalulekileyo aya kusombulula abazali. Ukuba utata akanaye uBawo, indoda entsha ye-hypothetingy inokuthatha le ndawo. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ekuqaleni banganyanzeli obu buyelingele, ukuba bangakhangeli utata onenjongo emntwaneni, kodwa banikele ingqalelo kubudlelwane bakho nendoda. Nokuba ucinga ukuba kwixa elizayo umntu wakho akwazi ukuthatha indawo kayise kwintsapho yakho, ungakulibali ukuba nguwokuqala ukuba liqabane lakho. Kuyimfuneko ukudlulisela emntwaneni kwaye uyambona ngotata omtsha, kodwa kunye nomhlobo kamama.
Imigaqo yokwazi
Akukho qhubekayo ukuqhubeka kwethutyana ukuqhubeka kwemida ecacileyo echaza usuku nelixa lokuthandana nomntwana wakho ngomntwana omtsha okhethiweyo. Kodwa eminye imithetho isekhona:
- Umntwana wakho kufuneka asoloko ebona kwaye wazi ukuba umama akakho kuphela kuye. Yintoni, ukongeza kumama, ukwangumfazi. Ukuba ingaba nezinye, akukho mdla mncinci, imicimbi, ulwalamano nabanye abantu kunye nabantu.
- Ukuze ufumane umntwana onendoda nganye ebonakalayo ebomini ayifanele. Okokuqala, akufuneki ukuba ungenise ekhaya kwaye ubonise ubudlelwane bakho obusondeleyo phambi komntwana. Inokubangela ikhwele kunye nemvakalelo yokwaliwa emntwaneni.
- Musa ukubafunela emncinci, ukuze abize umntu onyuliweyo, ungamchase uyise womntwana, nendoda entsha emehlweni akhe. Abantwana ngokwabo baya kuqonda ukuba ngubani kwaye angayiphatha njani umyeni omtsha kanina.
- Ukwazi kufuneka kudlule kakuhle, ngaphandle kweenkcazo zecandelo elinje: "Phila, lo utata wakho omtsha, uya kuhlala nathi." Kungcono ukulungiselela iintlanganiso ezininzi jikelele kwaye uchithe ixesha kunye epakini, kwindalo, ukuba uhambe. Yinyusa imidlalo ye-qabane, ukuzonwabisa kwaye ke ngoko unciphise inqanaba lokukhathazeka emntwaneni kwaye wenze abahlobo. Kuphela emva koko kunokwenzeka ukuba wazise ngokuthe ngcembe ekhayeni lakho.
Akucetyiswa ukuba le ndoda ngoko nangoko inike izipho ezixabisa kakhulu kwaye zenza yonke iminqweno yomntwana wakho kwinzame yokuthenga indawo yakhe kuyo.
Akunakwenzeka ukutshintsha uxanduva ngesigqibo sabantu abadala ukuba benze usapho. Mayiconjululwe ngunina nomntu wakhe onyuliweyo, kodwa umntwana kufuneka achazwe lulwimi oluqondakalayo kwaye afikeleleka kuye ukuba ngoku kukho umntu omtsha kwiintsapho zabo.
Akunakwenzeka ukwabela iimfuno zomntwana okanye umyeni omtsha kwaye zenze ukuba babe nesalamane esinye. Kuya kuba kufanelekile ukuthatha izisombululo ezidibeneyo kwimicimbi enxulumene nobomi babantwana, kwaye ibhekisela ngononophelo kwiimvakalelo zawo onke amalungu osapho.
Inkwenkwe okanye intombazana?
Ngokubanzi, ezi ngcebiso zikusebenzela indalo iphela ngokunxulumene nomntwana wayo nayiphi na isini. Kodwa ezinye izinto zinento yokwenza.
Amakhwenkwe anxibelelene noomama emva koqhawulo mtshato. Kwenzeka ukuba inkwenkwe izama ukutshintsha umyeni wasemama ophelileyo (oko kubizwa ngokuba yi-guentation, kwaye le yindawo eyingozi kakhulu). Kule meko, umntwana usenokuba nomona, ubundlongondlongo, indoda entsha iya kuthathwa yikhuphisana, indoda izama ukubulawa kukaMamum.
Kubalulekile ukuba banganiki msungula umntwana ukuba abonakalise ubundlongondlongo, musa ukuzama ukufundisa, kodwa ayikutshintshi ngenxa yakho, kuba uya kuhlala umama ngonaphakade, kwaye yena Unguye unyana wakho ngonaphakade. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba umntwana abe kufutshane naye phantsi kwakhe. Kuya kuba kuhle ukuba indoda yakho ifumana ulwalamano oluyimfihlo nonyana wakho.
Ngamantombazana ngaxeshanye kwaye kulula, kwaye kunzima ngakumbi. Amathuba okuba intombi iyakhuphisana nendoda ukuze inikele ingqalelo kuye kumama, ngaphantsi. Ukusondela ekufikelweni, le ntombazana kunokuba lula ukuyiqonda imvakalelo kamama kwaye inqwenela ngokunyanisekileyo ukonwaba kwakhe.
Nangona kunjalo, umntu makangalibali ukuba le ndoda endlwini ihlala ingumngcipheko wentombazana (nangona kunjalo, kwinkwenkwe nayo). Nokuba yintoni efudumeleyo kwaye ethembayo ubudlelwane bakho kunye nentanda, zama ukungaphulukani nangokuhlala uphinda uhlale uphaphile kwaye uva abantwana bakho kwaye ukholelwe.
Ifoto nguTatiana syrikova: pexels