Somehow one of my client told the story of how she did not want to share feelings with her partner.
They had a date. Relationships last for several years, and the woman learned his partner well. She knows that it is impossible to "ship it with his emotions" because it begins to be angry, and the relationship is spoiled.
... Before a date, the woman had a difficult working day - she works with customers, and spends many negotiations.
Customers, as discharged, walked demanding, with claims. One of them even went to the conflict and demanded to improve the conditions that could not be changed.
Under the evening, the woman is tired, and exhaled. But the date still did not cancel.
This time she noticed that she was clinging to her man. As they say, "trolls". It seems that it does not look aggressively, but .... Aggression in this "clinging" is very much.
"Why did you want to touch him?"
"Because I was tired, but to talk about it, no matter how it is impossible. He does not want to know what's going on in my life without him."
"That is, you could not tell about your feelings? We could not designate your real state? You tried it to hide, but it seems that aggression still broke out?"
"It seems that it broke through ... in the form of passive aggression."
"The feelings still failed to hide, and they" came out "toxic."
"Failed ... I analyzed many similar situations in my life. This is always happening as a developed script.
If I can't talk about my feelings open, I begin to "merge" and troll "
... What is feelings? This is what we are experiencing at the moment, that is, we are in the present. If we cannot say that we feel, we suppress ourselves, and this does not benefit relationships.
What does it mean - to make your feelings in the relationship? So - Share. Talk about what happened. Get a response and support.
Actually, this is a relationship. Relationship is about to be real at every moment of time.
... Recently I was at the reception at the dentist. Every time I honestly tell him that I do not like all these procedures, and I am afraid of them. My wonderful doctor laughs and encourages me.
This time I noticed that he deeply sighs. I asked what perhaps he was tired?
The doctor replied that he had just sat on the diet, and wanted terribly! I replied that it was very courageous - sit on a diet! The doctor smiled again.
With closed, in defense, people, it is difficult to be sincere, so, stumbled upon protection, I reject.
When we make ourselves in relationship, we exist. If we cannot make ourselves in relationship, we are experiencing depression. In some cases, we disappear, we, as if not.
... friends, I will gladly share my experience of separation in my course "Separation and deliverance from addiction"
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