I-Blogger, umbhali kunye nombhali we "Art Of Pofegism" uMark Manson wafumana kuphela indlela eluncedo yokuzabalazela.
Ukuguqulelwa ko "I-Idesis" ushicilelo.
Ndinomhlobo ocinga ngokuzingca, ubiza ngokuba ungumntu othanda ukugqibelela. Uyaziqhenya ngayo. Ukuba into kwindawo yakhe ebonakalayo ibonakala ibonakala iphosakeleyo ", iphantse yazama ukuyilungisa. Iyenza iMigangatho ephezulu kakhulu ngokubhekisele koko kuthathela ingqalelo kwabanye, ngakumbi. Enkosi kule nto, uyaphumelela. Kodwa ngenxa yale nto, ujongene neengxaki.
Uyazi ukuba iqhina labalisela yena, kodwa ngokomntu, kungenxa yokuba efuna ukuba ngcono. Kwaye xa ekhohlakele nabanye, utsho ukuba iphuma luthando. Ufuna abantu abangakhathali kuye, babephumelela ebomini.
Kodwa kuyo yonke lento kukho i-snag enye: umntu osoloko ethetha ngemfuneko yokulandela imigangatho ephezulu kwaye wazabalazela ukugqibelela, ukusola, i-Blass kakhulu.
Usebenza kwiiprojekthi iinyanga ezininzi, ngaphandle kokubonisa nabani na, kuba esele "agqitywe", oko kukuthi, ongafezekanga. Ngenxa yoko, uyala phantse kwinqaku ngalinye, ukusukela kwinqaku elithile alibona ukuba omnye okanye enye iprojekthi ayisayi kuba njengohlobo loMsebenzi omelwe ngengqondo.
UQHELEKILE kwiiveki, iinyanga kunye neminyaka okanye iminyaka engazisiyo kuphele, okanye ukuba sisidenge "ukuqala" ukuqalisa "ukuqalisa". Iminyaka yobomi bakhe idluliseleka ukuhamba rhoqo kweenjongo, izicwangciso kunye nophuhliso, kodwa ngaphandle kwesiphumo esinye.
Le yinto ekhokelayo.
Ukugqibelela i-paradox
Qonda ngokuchanekileyo, andikukhuthazi ukuba "unciphise ibha." Ngapha koko, ndicinga ukuba ukuthanda izinto ngokugqibeleleyo kuyindawo yayo kubungcali kunye nobomi bobuqu (ngakumbi malunga noku kamva).Kodwa kuyathandeka ukuba abantu abafuna ukugqibelela bahlala boyika abantu ababonisa indlela ababonisa ngayo ukungasebenzi. Oku kungenxa yokuba kungenxa yokuba bajonga bonke abanye abafanelekileyo, kwaye ukuba kunjalo, kutheni le nto landela icebiso labo? Esi sisiphumo esibi semigangatho yabo yokutshixa: Akukho mntu ulungele ukummamela. Ngenxa yoko, umntu ofezekileyo uzabalaza yedwa.
Xa umhlobo wam-umntu ofezekisayo waxelela ukuba wangena esiphelweni sakhe ngoku, ndamnika isigqibo, kodwa wachaza zonke izizathu zokuba kungasebenzi kwaye kutheni le meko ayimkelekanga . Udlule kwiinyanga ezintandathu. Akukho nto yenziwayo.
Umsunguli waseAmazon Jeff Bezos ukhe wabhala kwileta eyabelana ngabanini, ngokoluvo lwayo, izigqibo ezifanelekileyo ziyamkelwa xa umntu eneenkcukacha ezingama-70% zolwazi olufanelekileyo. Ngokutsho kwakhe, ukuba ingaphantsi kwe-70%, ke kunokwenzeka ukuba uthathe isigqibo esingachanekanga. Kodwa ukuba ingaphezulu kwe-70%, onokuthi uchithe ixesha kwinto ekungalindelekanga ukuba uyitshintshe iziphumo.
"Ukulawula ama-70%" wethuba kuyasebenza kwizinto ezininzi. Ngamanye amaxesha kungcono ukuqalisa le projekthi xa ilungele ngama-70%. Kwimisebenzi yokubhala, ndithumela umhleli oyilwayo xa ene-70% ehambelana nento endifuna ukuyithetha.
Umgca ongezantsi kukuba unokuhlala ugcwalisa i-30% yokugqibela emva. Kodwa i-100% ingangalindi nje.
Ukuguquguquka kwetyhefu kunye netyhefu
Kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba ayizizo zonke izinto zokugqibelela ziyafana.
Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokumisela imigangatho ephezulu kunye neenjongo eziphezulu. Kuya kufuneka usebenze kakhulu, kuya kufuneka ulwele into ofuna ukuyiphumeza ebomini bakho.
Kodwa kukho umahluko phakathi kokugqibelela okhethekileyo - umnqweno wokugqibelela eqonda ukuba eyona nto ingafikelelekiyo ayinabungozi - umnqweno wokufezeka kunye nokuthandabuza ukuthatha nantoni na encinci.
Ke ukugqibelela igqibelele kukho iintlobo ezininzi.
Ukugqibelela kusenziwa
Abanye abantu abaphilayo bayalandela imigangatho yabo (ehlekisayo).Akusayi kubakho nto iphosakeleyo kuloo nto ukuba bayayazi indlela yokuphinda bayikhethele indlela yabo yokuziphatha, xa izinto zingahambi kwicebo, kodwa aziyi kumangaliswa - aziyi. Babilisa njengeVesuvius kubushushu. Abakwazi ukususa iimpazamo ezicaphukisayo, ngamanye amaxesha ukuya kwiminyaka engamashumi eminyaka emva kokuba bezenzile. Bazigxeka phantse kuyo yonke into abayenzayo.
Siya kubabiza ngokuba "ngabaphilayo abamele bathethe ngokwabo."
Ukufuna ukujongana nabanye
OLUNYE ABANYE ABALULEKILEYO BAYIPHEPHA I-pronk ephezulu kakhulu. Kwaye bekungayi kuba kubi kangako ukuba basebenzise imigangatho yabo ephezulu ukukhuthaza abantu ukuba benze into engcono, kwaye "ngcono" kuya kwanela.
Kodwa kwakhona, akunjalo. Babeka iimfuno ezinjengezinto ezimangalisayo, ezingenakwenzeka ukuba akukho mntu unokuzazela.
Khumbula umphathi wakho osonileyo nge-micrommage kwaye oziva kuyo kuphela into endiyivayo kuyo yonke indawo, okanye malunga nomama wakho wokugweba, okanye malunga ne-guy yakho efuna ukumxelela yonke into malunga nokuba 'Ngaba uqiniseke ukuba unokukuthemba "(funda:" Ndifuna ukwazi ukuba uyadibana nangokuziphatha okuhle okugqibeleleyo ").
Siza kubabiza ngokuba "ngabaqine abamele bathethe kwabanye."
Ukugqibelela Ukujongana noluntu
Kwaye kukho abathandi abafuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba abanye abantu babanyanzela imigangatho ephezulu kakhulu.Aba bantu bahlala bephila kwisiphithiphithi. Abakwazi ukwenza isigqibo sokuba benze ntoni ngobomi babo, kuba abayazi indlela abaya kubongwa ngayo ngabanye ukuba isigqibo asichanekanga. Beva isigwebo entlokweni yabo, kodwa bengaveli kubo, kodwa batyhola abo bajikeleze abantu, kwaye bakholelwe ukuba abagwebi abalindelo lwabo banikiwe.
Aba bantu bahlala bephikisana nokungancedi. Kutheni le nto amava, ukuba akunakwenzeka ukufezekisa ukwamkelwa? Siya kubabiza ngokuba "ngabaphilayo abafezekanga eluntwini."
Imfezeko kwilizwe elingafezekanga
Ewe kunjalo, ezi ntlobo zintathu zokungafezeki zingenelelo. Umendo wokugqibelela ujongene nabo bahlala besebenzisa imigangatho ephezulu kakhulu ngokunxulumene noko kwaye ngokunxulumene nabanye. Abantu abafuna ukugxininisa kwabanye banokuzama ukunyanzela iinjongo zabo zentlalo kwihlabathi liphela. Enye indlela okanye enye into, i-terry freforations ihlala inesimo esinye sokuziphatha apho baninzi ixesha.
Nganye kwezi ntlobo zezinto zokugqibelela sisitepisi esifihlakeleyo sokunyanzela iinjongo zobuze zifezekile zodwa okanye omnye umntu.
- Abantu abafuna ukusondela kwabo babebhekisela kubo ngokwabo banyanzela ngokwabo iinjongo ngokwabo.
- Abantu abafuna ukunyanzela bajonge abanye benyanzelisa iinjongo zabo ebantwini nakwilizwe lonke.
- Abantu abafezekileyo ababhekiswa kuluntu bazimisele ukuba yintoni, ngokombono, ithathwa ngokuba "ilungele" eluntwini.
Ingxaki yenzeka xa imfezeko "yengqondo" kunye nenyani azihambelani.
Ndiphindaphinda kwakhona: Akukho nto imbi kwimigangatho ephezulu.
Kodwa ekuyimiseleni le migangatho iphakamileyo kuwe okanye enye ngaphandle kokubhuka kwaye ndithandabuzekile kwi-chissi yakho, yonke into imbi. Abantu abafuna ukugqibelela bazo zonke ii-Mush bathambekele kuhlobo olumnyama nolumhlophe lokucinga "zonke okanye akukho nto": ungaphumeleli, okanye ufezekise impumelelo. Nokuba iphumelele, okanye ilahlekile, yenza into okanye ilunge okanye ayilunganga.
Ubomi bokwenyani buyenzeka kwimimandla engwevu phakathi komnyama nomhlophe. Isinyithi buxhomekeke kwinto yokuba uninzi lwabaphilayo bafuna nje umhlaba (bona ngokwabo, abantu ekulo, kodwa abakwazi ukuqonda ukuba yintoni.
Esihogweni
Mhlawumbi eyona ndlela ilula yokujamelana nokugqibelela ebhekiswe kwabanye. Ezi ntlobo zabantu abafuna ukugqibelela nje zikholelwe ukuba zinokulawulwa ngokuzinzileyo kunye nendawo yazo esondeleyo, kwaye, ke, kholwa ukuba zinokutshintsha bona kunye / okanye ezihlala zihleli.Ukuthatha le ngxelo, ndicebisa iingcinga zam ngendlela yokususa ezi ntlobo zimbini zokugqibelela.
Indlela yokujongana nemeko yokugqibelela
Kuya kufuneka ufunde ukunyanga ngokulula. Ndiyazi ukuba malunga nezigidi ezisibhozo sele zikuxelele le nto, kodwa ndimamele kude kube sekupheleni.
Ngokungafaniyo ngokungafaniyo nabantu abasebenza kwabanye, kunokwenzeka ukuba uziva ngabantu abaxhasa kwaye bakhuthaze abahlobo kunye nosapho. Xa bephosakele okanye benze into esisidenge, awuboni ngenxa yokuba kwaye ungabizi ukuba zisisidenge.
Ubonakalisa ububele. Uyaqonda ukuba abantu benza iimpazamo kangangokuba banenjongo entle yokuba kukho isiphithiphithi esininzi kunye nethamsanqa ebomini, kwaye akukho namnye kuthi onokutshintsha oku. Ibanceda ukuba bazive bhetele. Ibalaselisa ukuzithemba kunye nemvakalelo yokhuseleko. Babona ukuba banenkxaso yakho kwaye ukuba yonke into izakulunga, nokuba azifezekanga.
Kuba kunjalo kunokuba yinto yokumangalisa, kodwa unokwenza yonke into ngokwakho.
Zama. Ziphathe njengomhlobo. Khawufane ucinge ukuba impazamo efikelela kwimpazamo yomhlobo osondeleyo okanye ilungu losapho. Uza kuthini kubo? Uziva ntoni kubo? Kwaye ngoku yenza okufanayo ngokunxulumene nawe.
Indlela yokujongana nokugqibelela ezibhekiswa kwabanye
Kuya kufuneka sivume ukuba imigangatho yakho ayinakwenzeka ayikuvumeli ukuba uve konke ukusondela kunye nothando olunokunikezela ubudlelwane.Vuma ukuba nako nakude uvela kude. Ngokunyaniseka, uyakhwela lonke ixesha, nabantu abakungqongileyo ninyamezele rhoqo kwaye nikuxolele ngayo - zombini, kunye nomnye ongafundanga.
Indlela yokujongana nokugqibelela ezibhekiswa kuluntu
Abantu abafuna ukugqibelela kolu hlobo baziva bengancedi kwimeko yabo ebalulekileyo. Wonke umntu ufuna ukubasa, ukumisela ukulindela okungenakwenzeka kunye nokugxeka iimpumlo. Babona ikratshi kunye nokugwetywa kwamagama aqhelekileyo. Balindele okona kubi kakhulu kulo naluphi na uhlobo lwentlalo. Bahlala bedidekile kwaye bakholelwe ukuba abamthandi namnye umntu.
Ukuba uzifundile kule nkcazo, ke ndifuna ukukucel 'umngeni! Kanye ngalo mzuzu, thatha uxanduva lwayo yonke into eyenzekayo ebomini bakho. Yonke into. Yile nto ndiyibiza ngokuba ndiyi "vera".
Kwaye ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuthetha: "Kodwa, Marko, andinatyala ukuba umhlaba yinto leyo! Ndingaluthatha njani olu xanduva? !?! " Khumbula ukuba uthatha uxanduva ngento engeyiyo into enye ekufuneka uyityala.
Ingcali yokugqibezela ibhekiswe kuluntu iwela kumgibe wento endiyibizayo "idini". Uziguqula kwixhoba lemigwebo yabanye abantu ngenxa yokuba ngale ndlela ndiziva ndibalulekile.
Isikhundla sexhoba sikunika ukuba uzive ngenye indlela ekhethekileyo neyahlukileyo. Ke ngoko, abantu abasoloko bevela ngendlela ebecinga ukuba bengamaxhoba bazama ukuzive bebalulekile kwaye babalulekile, ngaphandle kwento eyenzekileyo.
Ukugqibelela akufezekanga
Isisombululo sokugqibela sengxaki asikokususa imfezeko, kodwa ukuphinda ubuye ngokutshintsha kwakho oko "kufanelekile."Ukugqibelela akuyomfuneko ukuba ube sisiphumo. Ukugqibelela kunokuba yinkqubo. Ukugqibelela kunokuba yinto yokuphucula, hayi isidingo sokwenza yonke into ngokuchanekileyo. Zabalazela ubukhulu. Zabalazela umgangatho. Zabalazela ukufezekisa.
Kodwa qonda: into onayo entlokweni yakho ngumbono omangalisayo wendlela yonke into ekufuneka ilungiswe ngayo yonke into, ayisiyofezeko. Ukugqibelela yinkqubo yokuphelisa ukungafezeki. Ukufuna into, ukugxeka, ukusilela, emva koko usebenze ngokuphucula. Olu luhlobo olutsha, olungafezekanga lwezinto zokugqibelela. Le yindlela yokusebenza yokugqibelela. Ukuba ayikuqhubayo ukuba uphambene okanye abantu abakungqongileyo.
Kwaye ndidanga nditsho ukuba le yindlela elungileyo yokufuna ukuthanda izinto.
Amanqaku kwisihloko
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- Amabanjwa oXabiso: Indlela Esilahlekileyo Ixabiso lombulelo
# Ukuzikhusela
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