Important skill that does not have every adult
The establishment of personal borders begins from the very early age. It is necessary to remind of mutual respect not only to children, but also themselves. A child who knows how to defend his personal boundaries and knows exactly where his personal space begins and ends, respects himself and others and in the future will be able to build healthy relationships.
Where to begin?
Explain to the child what personal boundaries areNot every adult understands what it is. And the child the more needed a detailed explanation! It is best to start with a conversation about the personal space, because children already have some idea about it.
Tell me that personal boundaries are something like an agreement between two people that they will respect each other's personal space. For example, do not touch another person without demand, recognize his desires and interests, do not interrupt in a conversation and so on. Explain how communication with close and unauthorized people differs.
Let your child define personally for himself, whatever he wants.
What are the actions of other people forced him to feel that someone breaks into his personal space? What actions cause discomfort?
So the child without any doubt and fluctuations will be able to understand and defend its borders if someone from his peers will try to break them.
Show the child how to behave. Explain that other people also expect their borders to respect. Do not forget what the child was taught when a relative will once again dare to hug or kiss the child, and he will oppose this. Do not make it do it.
This Council also applies to you: do not kiss the child if he does not want it, show respect.
If you are confused that the child behaves too closed and does not want to come to contact with anyone, talk to him. However, you should not insist on hugs and kisses, if the child is embarrassing from this.
Every day let the child make a choice yourself - what clothes he wants to wear, what breakfast prefers. From this the understanding of bodily autonomy begins.
The whole essence of learning is to allow the child to feel comfortable and teach him to respect someone else's comfort. Children are best understood what mutual respect, watching adults.
Repetition is the mother of the teaching. The child needs to be reminded what you taught it. However, it is not enough to just say that it is possible, but what is impossible.
You can climb the conversation in everyday discussion - for example, after reading a book or while watching some film or cartoon.
It can be noted that this is such a hero, in your opinion, disrespectful to the borders of another character, or praise the hero for a positive example.
Integet to your own opinion of the child on this issue - let it reflect on, thinks, and not blindly follows the rules. Such an exercise contributes to the development of empathy.
While you are listening to the child's opinion with interest, he comprehends the essence of psychological personal borders. A child learns to listen to the interlocutor and not to interrupt him, he sees that his opinion is valuable.
In the future, the understanding of his own personal borders will protect the child from unwanted actions by children and adults. Of course, no one can ensure that the unpleasant situation does not happen, but at least you will do everything to prevent it, and the likelihood is that the child will not be silent about what happened.
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