For parents, it is natural to wish to protect him the best, to protect it and protect it from adversity. But sometimes, without realizing it, we will bend the stick and instead of concern they inspire fears and grow complexes. Studies show that excessive guardianship may adversely affect the ability of a small person to cope with the growing up. And the proof of this is not only the results of experiments, but also examples from life.
Piercing the text of the user Pikabu Mary reminded us that negative manifestations of care are serious consequences. Adme.ru hopes that the life scenarios described will bypass you.
"Mom, look, enotyk!" - "Get away from Raccoon! Do not touch the raccoon! You are afraid of him! Did you forget that you are afraid of him? " "Mom, I myself put on a circle!" - Screaming a boy who is looking at no less than 10 years old. "My clever, myself, without mom," the mother is dying on the road to the beach. "Vitaly, oil does not choose! You like a 5-year-old, you will not send you to the store. When are you marrying? " "Mom says his son who has long been for 30." I need a number for two, I am with a child. How much is a child? 24. Vacationers are settled in the boarding house. Hyperopka - a terrible phenomenon.
Katya
We had a neighbor, and her daughter, Katyusha, a little older than me. "Why don't you want to be friends with Katya? - Mom asked me. - kind, good, educated girl. " She really was like that. But the powerful mother completely suppressed her from childhood. I did not want to be friends with Katya, because it was no matter how. She opened her mouth, and I heard the phrases of her mother, word for word. The girl spoke to the tongue of an adult woman. Katya spil perfectly, early began working as an order. The clients looked like from the picture, and the seamstress herself went to the old-fashioned outfits, in ruffles and ruffles: Mom knew better what was suitable for a young girl. Naturally, no walking in the yard, communicating with peers outside the school. But she was very pretty. The guy met her, a student from Peter, loved, had the most serious intentions. The family had funds to send Katya to St. Petersburg, she was also not deprived of abilities, she graduated from a school with a medal, but "what if he bring to the Podol?" The guy wrote letters, more paper, came on vacation. Katya loved him very much. Mother strictly controlled them: I read all letters, I could not approve, and it was necessary to rewrite, while telephone conversations listened to the parallel telephone (this is the second half of the 90s). The guy graduated from the military school, and the service began. They released a week - got married to marry. The neighbor did not give: "How is it like this: to marry a week? I have no duvettes, nor a saucepan! " Katya did not go against the will of the mother. The guy did not persuade, did not convince, left. Now we are coming.
Then she was still married. I already lived in another city and I do not know how she succeeded. My mom liked Katya. She said that the new groom was completely different, gently tried to dissuade her, but heard: "Aunt Ira, I would have gone for the damn, just from home to leave!" Immediately after the wedding, he said that he loves another woman, but she was 10 years old and with a child, her parents zadolbali, to marry a "normal" girl and provided them with their own grandchildren. Very soon Katya is seriously ill - oncology. My husband was spit, the mother-in-law said: "We need a grandchildren, and you have a disabled day." And Mom ... Mom did not let her back home: "I got married - here we live." My mom said that after they with a stepfather Kati remained together, they began simply a honeymoon and no one no longer need. After 2.5 years of struggle, torment, after 2 operations and chemotherapy, Kati did not. She was 25 years old. So remained in my memory, a girl, which seemed to be, which was not, which, if and showed something, only in many albums with drawings of different clothes.
Lisa
- You will not know me? In front of me incredibly a pretty bigger girl, just a beauty. Peering: - Lisa? - Well yes! My student, is it? Where is the coffered bun with the eyes-alkali, that with a breath rose to the 3rd floor, chuckled on physical culture and cried, because none of the boys wanted to go with her a couple at a kind of event? - No one will know me. At the age of 17, he moved away from his parents, crossed on the proper nutrition, the gym was discharged. I cried from pain, I also cry from salad, "Lisa laughs. - But it was more pleasant than crying from the phrase: "Hippo, eat a boot!" After all, since childhood, I fed almost around the clock, I don't know why.
North
Excursion to waterfalls. We go through the forest, uphill. Mom and grandmother are fussing around the extracted 4-year-old guys. He does not want to handle, he stubbornly goes himself. "You have a stern guy," I notice. - Oh, you can not imagine! Today I was going to the beach, so he took the package, made 2 holes for the legs, put on a short one and was all the way! We say: "Sevochka, everything laughs over you!" And he: "I don't care." Not everyone has enough strength to resist from early childhood. I work in the sanatorium and watching, as after lunch, some of the children runs through the numbers and by procedures, and the part goes strictly next to their adults or the step towards. I go out and see the first guys in the courtyard: tennis, sports ground, swing, but just communication. And those second standing in the balconies, the windows ... Hyperoppec is very scary. There is nothing in common between her and love for the child.
What examples of negative influence of excessive guardianship meet you in life?