Our society is arranged so that shame is used as one of the control levers ...
People often come to me who are experiencing a very strong feeling of shame. In communicating with acquaintances and unfamiliar. And this shame is so strong that they often refuse themselves in communication, fearing to survive him. ⠀
I think we all should know that our society is arranged so that the shame is used as one of the control levers. Especially often this happened in our Soviet and post-Soviet childhood. ⠀
The feeling of shame is experiencing along with the feeling of its own incorrectness, poorness and total inconsistency. The feeling of yourself as something is almost unbearable, and from him a person wants to fall under the ground and stop existing. So, if you are worried about this, it means that you are under the influence of toxic shame. ⠀
The toxic shame is formed when significant adults are criticized in the sensitive periods of development, and his personality is criticized. Criticize without giving support. Criticize, rejecting. Then shame becomes a toxic destroying and stopping completely. And if you find such a shame in yourself, it is important to understand that it is not natural, not physiological, imposed on the outside and is often associated with specific situations and specific people who would be good, at least mentally, return.
Return their inability to experience strong feelings and attempt to format the child under their emotional capabilities. If you periodically covers toxic shame - this means that it is worth looking for a method of healing. Toxic shame is far from the shame of physiological. ⠀
You can argue for a long time, there is a shame out of society. Perhaps does not exist. But since we all live in society, then it still has it. In my opinion, shame in the normal amount is experiencing a completely different way.
Shame is an excitation marker that occurs when meeting with someone. Exciting a different property, not necessarily sexual. Perhaps this is just an interest or sympathy. Shame is a marker that this situation, these feelings or relationships are very important and meaningful to you and affect your personality. Shame is a sign that the proximity between people can become deeper.
And finally, shame and awkwardness can be a signal that further can come. And the pleasure is already quite another matter.