We have a boundless ocean of information on how to make the most carefully educate children ...
Nowadays, there is a vast ocean of information on how to make the most carefully educate children. How happy to grow them happy or successful, how to develop them, to educate, teach. Million Soviets, manuals, textbooks. Trillion articles, hundreds of podcasts.
How to speak with the child, how not to inflict a childhood injury, how not to scream to a child.
It is better not to stutter at all at all.
How to punish ...
How to cope with hysteries ...
The infinite set of any "how."
And it seems to me that there have never been so many controversial information as now.
There is something we follow something, forget something, something remains. After all, probably for this and need this volume of information - to remain in the use of the desired 10%. And we correct our behavior, working on yourself, trying to avoid mistakes. We want to become better, we want to do everything right. Well, not all, but at least something. And this is really a job!
I am, for example, I do not want to hang labels on my daughter. And I avoid all sorts of appraisal statements.
I avoid all forces.
Even when the latter in the refrigerator eggs for the cake fly to the floor.
Even when the thread falls out of the needle.
Even when the favorite plate turns out to be the edged edge.
And when the table is the whole lurn by glue, too.
And when I open the daughter of the closet, which we disassembled two days ago. Even then I am silent (well, almost always).
Squeezing teeth.
Because in my childhood - did not silent. Because these words about the curves of the hands, spine, the stuffed garden and the rest of the same are recorded in my program.
Program of upbringing. And this program was written not only by my parents. But both the school, mugs, friends, different adults.
And I want to change it. And this is true, war. With my own childhood. And I do not always win it.
And of course, it would be nice, instead of silence add prubing, support, joke, but often enough for me only to keep silent. And from the side, probably, it seems strange, but no one knows that it is happening inside and how much effort is the "simple silence". And my daughter also does not know. Although I now sometimes began to tell her how I am angry, I annoy, I'm angry with some kind of actions or just someone.
But still, my daughter will grow and will remember that instead of support, when she did not work out, I was silent. And he wants to change it for their children. And she will succeed. Two generations to change the education program laid from childhood by society. Just. But in order for such a reaction (about the curves of the hands and other estimated judgments) to pop up in the head, sometimes it was necessary only once to say to someone important for you, and everything, the program is recorded.
It scares.
Sometimes, when I think too much about this, I remember someone's saying: "No matter how hard you try, the children will still find that telling their psychotherapist. Therefore, deal with you. " Actually, I am doing this. As far as possible. In the free time. Haha.