Of course, it's nice to be a young mother when passersby say that you are with a child like a sister with my brother. But it often happens that pregnancy comes at that age when many are already nursing with grandchildren. In European countries, there has been no such thing as an age fever for a long time, but we still have stereotypes that you need to give birth at young age.
Women who decided to become Mama after 40 tell their stories.
"Mom, you're so old"
We and my husband had already two adult children. I have already been 43 years old, and the cycle was constantly knocked out, so I did not pay attention to the next delay. But when I started torturing me in the morning, nausea, weakness, I ran to the gynecologist. On the ultrasound I was informed that I have already had 12 weeks of pregnancy. I was shocked, because my husband and I were always protected, and I was not exactly going to give birth at that age. But there was nothing to do, the term was big, and my husband said, as cut off:
"Given, and the point. We cope, two were raised, and the third will bring up. "The first difficulties began when I became registered with pregnancy in the female consultation. The doctor and nurse, not embarrassed, discussed my position while I dressed after inspection.
I was silent, although I wanted to explain to her what tactful behavior, especially to patients. The doctor filled out the exchange card and emphasized that it is necessary to treat his health very carefully and carefully, because I am not 20 years old.
I did not know how to tell adults to the fact that the baby will soon appear in our family. But they revealed with understanding, supported and even participated in the purchase of all the necessary things necessary for the infant. Pregnancy proceeds well, I did not have any problems with my own. Just once I got into the hospital for preservation, but rather, this doctor was reinforced, because there was no serious reasons for concern. And my third child, the long-awaited and favorite son appeared on the world.
I will say right away, at a young age, it is much easier to cope with newborn. With the older children, I could not sleep at night, and then walk all day, and felt at the same time. Now I was much harder. Sleepless nights were barely, the hands and backs hung from constant techings. Husband and older children helped, of course, but still every day I felt fatigue.
For walks, I met so many non -actic people that were already tired of surprising. "What is your grandson?", "What a beautiful grandmother at the kid", "How is Mom?" Are you seriously?" - Similar questions pursued me constantly. Senior daughter saved with her son who walked with his brother while I could relax or do something around the house.
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I was 46 years old when my son went to kindergarten. In the locker room, we met with young parents, who first thought that I was not a mother, but my grandmother. I remember, the educator first always said to his son: "Vanya, the grandmother came for you." Then Vanya went to school, where I was continued to call my grandmother. The son treated this calmly, because he knew that I was his favorite mother.
His attitude towards me has changed when the transitional age began. I did not understand his youth slang, did not buy him new-fashioned gadgets, and the clothes chose practical, and not modern. The older brother was helped with his sister, but still between me and Vanya had the abyss of misunderstanding. Once we discussed the future education of the Son, did not come to a common opinion, they were crumbling. Vanya flared and shouted:
"What you can understand, you are old. My friends were lucky, they have young parents with whom you can ride on bicycles, play football. And you constantly complain about some diseases and sit at home. Why do you gave me at all at that age? We would be waiting for pensions, and everything would be fine. "
It hurts such words from your beloved child, but I understood that he is largely right. We were from another generation and could not give the son of that conversation that he needed. Then Vanya, of course, apologized for his words, but still spent more time with elder brother and sister.
Most of all, I'm afraid to leave life and do not have much time. Often I think I can not see how Vanya marries, he will have his own children, he will receive the desired position at work. I think this is the main minus of late motherhood, because the life is fleeting, and children so need maternal care and attention. My husband and I try to communicate more with Vanya, are interested in his affairs. I say every day that I am proud of them, I love and wish only the best.
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"I was not ready for motherhood"
When I was born, my mother was 23, dad - 25 years old. I had young parents, and it was great. We could have fun, run, play, ride attractions, and it seemed to me that mom and dad are my peers. When I entered the university, I was offered an internship in America, and, of course, I agreed. In the States, everything was not at all as we, and for several months of stay in this country, I realized that I would dream to build a career, and I'll think about marriage sometime later.
Because of his ambition, I broke up with a young man. He wanted to marry, create a traditional family, where the husband will earn, and the wife is engaged in the house and raise children. My parents negatively reacted to my decision, because they thought that I would go on their footsteps and in 20 I already give them grandson or granddaughter.
I think that you need to create a family when you are ready for this. I do not understand these Soviet installations that in 20 it is necessary to marry, and after 1-2 years - to give birth to a child. Who needs it? I had to find my place in my life at the age of 20, to achieve something to do not sit on my husband's neck.
I worked in a large company by the lead manager, then became the head of the department. The career was successful, I had my own apartment, car, several times a year I flew to rest. Parents were constantly asked when I married. They wanted grandchildren and were not happy with my professional successes at all. One day, when I came to visit my parents, we were almost knighted.
"I choose such a life that I like. Are children and grandchildren really - is it the only man's mission? I will become a mom when I want, not because you wanted grandchildren, "I just couldn't be silent more and expressed my parents all that I think.Since then, questions from their part stopped.
I was 37 years old when I met my future husband. I had a rich life: work, fitness, dancing, travel, new hobbies. My husband was 40 years old, and he was completely absorbed by his business. We did not plan children, somehow agreed in advance what we would live together. But unexpected pregnancy happened when I was 40 years old.
I did not apply to the clinic at the place of residence, but I went to my gynecologist to a private medical center. There was all 9 months old. My doctor never allowed himself to make a remark about my age. On the contrary, she encouraged me, praised, said that I was the most obedient pregnant, because I fulfill all her appointments.
We had a healthy girl who brought a lot of positive to our lives and filled it with a certain meaning. I do not consider myself an old mom, on the contrary, I had a lot of strength and desire to move forward. When my daughter was 1 year old, I went to work, and my parents and nanny were sitting with the baby. A child born after 35 years is perceived differently, it seems to me. To the emergence of the main person, you begin to treat responsibly, seriously, count your strength. Now I can give a lot of daughters, share experiences, life knowledge. I follow my appearance and know what I look much younger. When the daughter asks how many years I am, I am honestly answering. She always says that she has the most beautiful and clever mom. I hope we will continue with her girlfriends, despite the greater difference in age.