I-Blogger, umbhali kanye nomlobi we- "Ubuciko obuhle bePofigism" Mark Manson uthole ukuphela kwendlela ewusizo yokulwela okuhle.
Ukuhunyushwa kwe "Ideonization" Edition.
Nginomngane omemezela ngokuziqhenya ukuthi ungumuntu ofuna ukuphelela. Uyaziqhenya ngakho. Uma okuthile okusendaweni yakhe ezungezile kubukeka "okungalungile", cishe kuzama ukukulungisa. Kwenza izindinganiso eziphakeme kakhulu eziphathelene nalokho akubheka ezamukelekayo kwabanye futhi kube ngokwayo. Ngenxa yalokhu, ufinyelela impumelelo. Kepha ngenxa yalokhu, kubhekana nezinkinga.
Uyazi ukuthi lokho kuqinile kuye, kodwa, ngokusho kwakhe, lokhu kungenxa yokuthi efuna ukuba ngcono. Futhi lapho enesihluku nabanye, uthi kwenzani othandweni. Ufuna abantu abangathathili kuye, baphumelela empilweni.
Kepha kukho konke lokhu kune-SNAG eyodwa: Ukuze umuntu aqhubeke ekhuluma ngesidingo sokunamathela ezindinganisweni eziphakeme futhi alwele ukuphelela, uBla, uBla, uBla, empeleni wazuza kakhulu.
Usebenza ngamaphrojekthi ezinyangeni, ngaphandle kokuzibonisa noma ngubani, ngoba namanje asaqediwe ", okungukuthi, ukungapheleli. Ngenxa yalokho, uyenqaba cishe ngakunye kwawo, kusukela endaweni ethile ubona lokho noma enye iphrojekthi ngeke ibe hlobo ngaye emelwe ngokwengqondo.
Uyazithuka amasonto, izinyanga ngisho nangeminyaka yokuthi akazange aze aze aze, noma ngokuba yisiphukuphuku ukuze aqale iphrojekthi "engafanele". Iminyaka yokuphila kwakhe yadlula ekuhambeni kwezinhloso, amasu nentuthuko, kepha ngaphandle komphumela owodwa.
Lokhu kungukuthanda ukuphelela okuholele.
Ukuthanda ukuphelela kwe-Paradox
Qondisisa kahle, angikukhuthazi ukuthi "wehlise ibha." Eqinisweni, ngicabanga ukuthi ukuthanda izinto ngokuphelele kunendawo yayo kuyo yomibili impilo yobungcweti neyakho (okuningi ngalokhu kamuva).Kepha kuyahlekisa ukuthi abakholelwa ekutholeleni sebekwesaba abantu abakhombisa ukuziphatha kwabo ngokunganangqondo. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi kube ngenxa yokuthi babheka bonke abanye abakufanele, futhi uma kunjalo, kungani kulandela izeluleko zabo? Lo ngumthelela omubi wezindinganiso zabo ze-transcendental: akekho ofanele ukumlalela. Ngakho-ke, umuntu ofuna ukuphelela ulwa wedwa.
Lapho umngani wami - othanda ukuphelela etshela ukuthi waya emkhawulweni oshonile ebhizinisini lakhe lamanje, ngamnika isinqumo, kodwa wasungula zonke izinhlobo zezizathu zokuthi kungani kungasebenzi nokuthi kungani "kuqhubeke" esimweni esinjalo akwamukeleki . Ngakho-ke kwadlula izinyanga eziyisithupha. Futhi akukho okwenziwe.
Umsunguli we-Amazon Jeff Bezos wake wabhala encwadini eya kubaninimasheya ukuthi, ngombono wakhe, izinqumo eziphezulu zamukelwa lapho umuntu enama-70% olwazi oludingekayo. Ngokusho kwakhe, uma kungaphansi kwama-70%, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi uthathe isinqumo esingalungile. Kepha uma kungaphezu kwama-70%, kungenzeka ukuthi uchitha isikhathi entweni ethile okungenzeka ukuthi iguqule umphumela.
"Umthetho 70%" wethuba lisebenza ezintweni eziningi. Kwesinye isikhathi kungcono ukwethula iphrojekthi lapho isilungele ngo-70%. Emisebenzini yokubhala, ngithumela umhleli osalungiswa lapho evumelana nalokho ebengifuna ukukusho.
Umugqa ongezansi ukuthi ungahlala ugcwalisa i-30% yokugcina ngemuva. Kepha ama-100% angaba nje angalindi.
Ukuvuselelwa okuvumayo futhi okunobuthi ukuphelela
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi akubona bonke abantu abathanda ukuphelela bayefana.
Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokubeka amazinga aphezulu nezinhloso eziphakeme. Udinga ukusebenza kakhulu, kufanele ulwele lokho ofuna ukukufeza empilweni yakho.
Kepha kunomehluko phakathi kokuvumelanisa okuguqukayo - isifiso sokuphelela sibona ukuthi impumelelo ayifinyeleleki - futhi anobuthi - isifiso sokuphelela nokungabaza ukuthatha noma yini emincane.
Ngakho-ke ukuthanda izinto empeleni kunezinhlobo eziningana.
Kucutshungulwe ukuphelela
Abanye abathanda ukuphelela banamathela ezindinganisweni eziphakeme (ezihlekisayo).Ngeke kube khona okungahambi kahle ngalokho uma bekwazi ukwakha kabusha indlela abaziphatha ngayo, lapho izinto zingahambi ngohlelo, kodwa - futhi ngeke zimangale - azimangazi. Babilisa njengeVesuvius ekushiseni. Ngeke bakwazi ukuqeda amaphutha acasulayo, kwesinye isikhathi ngisho neminyaka noma amashumishumi eminyaka ngemuva kokukwenza. Bangigxeka cishe ngakho konke abakwenzayo.
Sizobabiza ngokuthi "abafuna ukuphelela babhebhethezele bona."
Ukufuna ukuphelela abanye
Omunye umuntu othanda ukuphelela banamathela epulangwe eliphakeme kakhulu kwabanye. Futhi bekungeke kube kubi kangako uma besebenzisa izindinganiso zazo eziphakeme ukuze zigqugquzele abantu ukuba benze okuthile okungcono, futhi "okungcono" bekuzokwanela.
Kepha futhi, akunjalo. Baphoqa izidingo ezimangalisa, ezingenakwenzeka zokuthi akekho umuntu ongake akwazi.
Khumbula umphathi wakho ona ngama-micromemage futhi uzwa yilokho kuphela engikudlayo kuyo yonke indawo, noma ngomama wakho oxoxa, noma umfana wakho owayefuna ukumtshela konke ngesipiliyoni sakho sobulili ukuze yena 'wayengaqinisekisa ukuthi ungakwethemba "(Funda:" Ngidinga ukwazi ukuthi uhlangana nokuziphatha kwami okuhle okuphelele ").
Sizobabiza ngokuthi "abafuna ukuphelela babhekiswe kwabanye."
Ukufuna ukuphelela kanye
Futhi kukhona abathanda ukuphelela abakholelwa ukuthi abanye abantu babapholisa ngezindinganiso eziphakeme kakhulu.Lababantu bavame ukuhlala enxubeshini. Abakwazi ukunquma ukuthi benzeni ngezimpilo zabo, ngoba abazi ukuthi bazokwaziswa kanjani abanye uma isinqumo asilungile. Bezwa ukulahlwa emakhanda abo, kepha hhayi ngokwabo, kepha okusolwa ukuthi kulabo abazungeza abantu, futhi bakholelwa ukuthi abathetheleli lokho okulindelwe.
Lababantu bavame ukuphikisana nokungakwazi ukutholwa kwabo. Kungani kuhlangenwe, uma kunzima ukufeza ukuqashelwa? Sizobabiza ngokuthi "abafuna ukuphelela babhekiswe emphakathini."
Ukuphelela ezweni elingaphelele
Vele, lezi zinhlobo ezintathu zokuphelela zihlangana. I-vocamyctimist ibheke ngokwayo inamathela emazingeni aphakeme kakhulu ngokubabazekayo maqondana nodwa futhi maqondana nabanye. Ochwepheshe bokuphelela babhekiswe kwabanye bangazama ukuphoqa izinhloso zabo zenhlalo emhlabeni emhlabeni jikelele. Enye indlela, ama-terry amahlumela ngokuvamile anesimo esinye sezimpawu zokuziphatha lapho zinjalo kakhulu khona ngesikhathi.
Ngayinye yalezi zinhlobo zokufuna ukuphelela ingukuthambekela okufihliwe kokufaka imibono yokucabanga yokuphelela kuye noma komunye umuntu.
- Ochwepheshe bokuphelela babhekiswe kubo babeka ezabo izinhloso zabo.
- Ochwepheshe bokuphelela babhekene nabanye baphoqa izinhloso zabo kubantu nasezweni elizungezile.
- Ochwepheshe bokuphelela babhekiswe emphakathini bazibeka kulokho, ngombono wabo, kubhekwa "okuhle" emphakathini.
Inkinga yenzeka lapho kutholwa "ukuphelela" namaqiniso akuhambelani.
Ngiyaphinda futhi ngiphinda ngibe: akukho lutho olubi ngamazinga aphezulu.
Kepha ekuphoqeleleni lezi zindinganiso eziphakeme ngokwakho noma okunye ngaphandle kokubhuka nokungabaza okunempilo kubhekise ku-chusi yakho, konke kubi. Ochwepheshe bokuphelela bawo wonke ama-maja bonke bathambekele kuhlobo olumnyama nolumhlophe lokucabanga "konke noma lutho": wehluleka, noma uzuze impumelelo. Noma ngabe unqobile, noma ulahlekile, wenza okuthile noma okulungile noma okungalungile.
Impilo yangempela yenzeka ezindaweni ezimpunga phakathi komnyama nomhlophe. I-erony ilele eqinisweni lokuthi iningi lobuntu bokuphelela lifuna umhlaba (bona, abantu akulo, njll.
Esihogweni Ukuphelela Kwakho Ukuphelela
Mhlawumbe indlela elula yokubhekana nokuphelela okubhekiswe kwabanye. Lezi zinhlobo zosizo ngokuthanda ukuphelela okungenani zikholelwa ukuthi zinokulawulwa okunengqondo ngokwazo nangezindawo zazo eziseduze kakhulu, futhi-ke, zikholelwa ukuthi zingazishintsha futhi / noma ezikuzungezile.Ukubheka lokhu, ngiphakamisa ukuthi imicabango yami yokuthi ungasusa kanjani lezi zinhlobo ezimbili zokufuna ukuphelela.
Ungabhekana Kanjani Nomntu Ofanele Ukuphelela Kubhekiswe
Udinga ukufunda ukwelapha lula. Ngiyazi ukuthi cishe cishe abantu abayizigidi eziyisishiyagalombili bakutshelile lokhu, kodwa bangilalele kuze kube sekupheleni.
Ngokungafani nabakholelwa kwabanye, kungenzeka uzizwe ngabebantu abasekele futhi abakhuthaze abangane babo nomndeni wabo. Lapho bephutha noma benza okuthile okuwubuwula, awubaboni ngakho futhi abatsheli abayiziphukuphuku.
Ubonisa ububele. Uyaqonda ukuthi abantu benza amaphutha ukuthi banenhloso enhle kakhulu yokuthi kunezingqinamba eziningi kanye nenhlanhla empilweni, futhi akekho noyedwa kithi ongakushintsha lokhu. Kuyabasiza ukuba bazizwe ngcono. Iyasebenza kubo ukuzethemba nomqondo wokuphepha. Babona ukuthi basekelwa kwakho nokuthi konke kuzolunga, noma ngabe abaphelele.
Kithi kungamangala, kepha ungenza konke okufanayo.
Zama. Ziphathe njengomngane. Cabanga nje ukuthi iphutha elithi Corps Wena iphutha lomngane osondelene noma ilungu lomndeni. Ungathini kubo? Yini ongazizwa ngayo? Futhi manje yenza okufanayo maqondana nawe.
Ungabhekana Kanjani Nokuthanda Ukuphelela Kubhekiswe Kwabanye
Kumele sivume ukuthi amazinga akho angenakwenzeka awakuvumeli ukuthi ubone konke ukusondela nothando olunganikeza ubudlelwano.Vuma ukuthi nawe ungaphelele. Ngokweqiniso, ukhuphuka ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi abantu abaseduze kwakho bakukhuthazelela njalo futhi bakuthethelele - bobabili, kanti omunye awukasafundanga.
Ungabhekana Kanjani Nokuphelela Okubhekiswe Emphakathini
Ochwepheshe abafuna ukuphelela babuzwa bengelutho esimweni sabo esibalulekile. Wonke umuntu ufuna ukubathola, abeke okulindelwe okungenakwenzeka futhi aphoxe amakhala. Babona ukuzikhukhumeza nokulahla amagama ajwayelekile. Balindele okubi kakhulu kunoma yikuphi ukuxhumana kwezenhlalo. Bahlala bedidekile futhi bakholelwa ukuthi abathandanga muntu.
Uma uzifunde kule ncazelo, khona-ke ngifuna ukukuphonsela inselelo! Kulesi sikhathi kusukela kulo mzuzu, thatha umthwalo wakho konke okwenzeka empilweni yakho. Konke. Yilokhu engikubiza ngokuthi "vera okuyisisekelo".
Futhi ngaphambi kokuthi uqale ukukhuluma: "Kepha, uMarku, anginacala ngempela ukuthi umhlaba yiwo! Ngingawuthwala kanjani lo msebenzi? !?! " Khumbula ukuthi uthatha umthwalo wemfanelo ngokuthile akuyona into efanayo okufanele uwathobele icala.
I-Perfectimist ebhekiswe emphakathini iwela ogibeni lwalokho engikubiza ngokuthi "umhlatshelo". Uyaziguqula ube yisisulu sezahlulelo zabanye abantu ngoba ngale ndlela uzizwe ubalulekile.
Isikhundla salowo ohlukunyeziwe sikunikeza ukuba uzizwe ngendlela ethile ekhethekile futhi eyingqayizivele. Ngakho-ke, abantu abahlala beza nezindlela zokucabanga ukuze babe izisulu empeleni bezama ukuzizwa bekhethekile futhi bebaluleke, yize iqiniso lalimala.
Ukuphelela akuphelele
Isixazululo sokugcina senkinga akufanele sisuse ukuphelela, kepha ukubuyekezwa kokuqonda kwakho kwalokho "okuhle."Ukuphelela akufanele kube ngumphumela. Ukuphelela kungaba yinqubo. Ukuphelela kungaba yisenzo sokuthuthuka, hhayi isidingo sokwenza konke kahle. Lwela ubukhulu. Lwela ikhwalithi. Lwela ngisho nasekupheleleni.
Kepha qondisisa: Okunakho ekhanda lakho kungumbono omuhle kakhulu wokuthi konke kufanele kuhlelwe kanjani, akulona ukuphelela. Ukuphelela yinqubo yokuqeda ukungapheleli. Ukufuna okuthile, ukugxeka, ukwehluleka, bese usebenza ngokuthuthuka. Lolu uhlobo olusha lokufuna ukuphelela, olungaphelele. Lolu uhlobo lokusebenza olusebenzayo lokufuna ukuphelela. Ukuthi lokho akukuqhubi wena uyahlanya noma abantu abaseduze kwakho.
Futhi nginesibindi ngisho nokusho ukuthi lesi yindlela ewusizo yokufuna ukuphelela.
Imibhalo ngesihloko
- Khohlwa ngenkululeko: Ukushiswa kukaHishi Kusiza kanjani ubuhlakani
- Imikhuba ekhiqizayo ephefumulelwe yisifo sokukhathala okungamahlalakhona
- Okubi ukwedlula i-FOMO: Ukwesaba okukhethwa kukho okungcono kakhulu kuguqula umsebenzi nokuphila
- Iziboshwa Zokwazisa: Silahlekelwe Kanjani Inani Lokubonga
# Ukuzithuthukisa
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