Kunzima ukucinga ukuba uMama angamthandi umntwana wakhe. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ifunyenwe, kwaye ukungathandi kwabona bantu babaluleke kakhulu kunokubangela
Kubomi bexesha elizayo. Ukuba ufuna intombi yakho ikhule umntu owonwabileyo, emthanda njengoko kunjalo. Kwaye jonga ngokupheleleyo ukuba uthini emntwaneni, kuba amazwi akho achaphazela ngakumbi
Inkwenkwe evela kwimizuzu yokuqala yobomi bayo ibona ubuso bukaMama, kwaye yeyeyona ndoda ibalulekileyo kwaye isondeleyo. Intombazana iza kuyazi, ijonge emehlweni omama, ive ukufudumala, uthando, inkxaso. Kubalulekile ukuba ave iimvakalelo zikamama ukuba zikhule, zikhule, zifune iinjongo. Amantombazana anxibe ngamandla koomama, kuba uMama ngumgangatho wobuhle, ubulumko, ulwazi lobomi.
Umntwana ongafumani nxalenye yothando eyimfuneko, isifundo esikhohlakeleyo sobomi uhambe kwangoko. Umama unokushenxiswa, angakhathali, afe, kwaye intombazana ifumana uxinzelelo yonke imihla. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, akayazi into abayilindeleyo kwimvelaphi yakhe. Amantombazana amaninzi azama nangayiphi na indlela afanele afanele intlonipho ngomams, azive eyimfuneko kwaye ebathandayo. Kwaye kuthatha amandla amaninzi, i-nerves, amandla afanelekileyo, kwaye ayizifezekisi iinjongo. Umama uhlala ebanda, ukhohlakele, akaniki ubushushu ngokweemvakalelo, oko kuyimfuneko kumntwana ngamnye.
Intombazana engathandwayo kulwalamano olunjalo nonina lwenza izigqibo ezinolwalamano phakathi kwabantu abanaxabiso. Akunakwenzeka ukuba iqhotyoshelwe emntwini, into yokulindela into kuye. Ngaphakathi komntwana kukho ingxabano enkulu: intombazana ifuna uthando olufunekayo, kwaye kwangaxeshanye lubeka iibhloko zemvakalelo kulo naluphi na ulwalamano.
Xa ulwazi luyeza le ntombazana leyo ayimthandiyo, njengomlawuli, uyaqhubeka nokufuna uthando. Ngaphakathi komntwana kukho i-disonance: Kwelinye icala, intombazana iyaqonda ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba uthando luvela kumama. Kwelinye icala, ucinga ngemvakalelo yokuba kufuneka wonke umntwana. Kunzima ukucinga ukuba kwenzeka ntoni emphefumlweni wentombazana, ethi umama wakhe ungathandi. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kuyinto yendalo kwaye ibekwe ngokwemvelo - ukuthanda nokukhusela umntwana wakho. Xa isilela, kunzima kakhulu ukusinda. Ngamanye amaxesha ukwenzela ukujamelana nolwaphulo mthetho, kuthatha iminyaka eliqela.
Iintombi ezingathandabulanga ziphila ubomi babo bonke kunye namanxeba okomoya ababeyifumana ebuntwaneni beyeyona ndoda yomthonyama. Ngokwemvelo, ichaphazela ngakumbi ikamva labo. Rhoqo abafazi abanjalo baneengxaki kubudlelwane phakathi kolwalamano, abakwazi kwakha ubomi, kodwa bazigxeke, kwaye bangabi ngumama ongakwaziyo ukufumana uthando nenkxaso eyimfuneko.
Oomama abangavunyelwanga bahlala besebenzisa amabinzana alandelayo, ebonisa ukungabikho kobushushu ngokweemvakalelo kunye nesisa. Ukuba intombazana ebuntwaneni iva la mabinzana avela kumama, ukubandezeleka, okokuqala, kuqala, impahla yabantwana kunye nokuzithemba komntwana.
Funda kwakhona: Ngawaphi amabinzana Umama angathethi intombi yakhe
Xa sifumana, ukubandezeleka, kunzima kwaye sibuhlungu, neengxaki zethu sibaleka kuMama. Nokuba ungakanani iminyaka emingaphi: 4, 10, 20 okanye engama-20. Ngakweyiphi na iminyaka, ufuna ukungcungcutheka kumntu wakho wommiselo kwaye uzive inkxaso. Xa umphefumlo wabuhlungu, iinyembezi zityatyathwa ngokuzithandela. Kodwa endaweni yamagama afudumeleyo kunye nokugcoba, intombi engathandwayo ive kuMama: "Uthini? Hlamba iinyembezi, akukho nto yokukhala.
Sele nkulu kwaye ungayisombulula ingxaki, ungabizi. " Intombazana iyaqonda ukuba iimvakalelo zikanina azinomdla. Umama ukholelwa ukuba le ngxaki ayikufanelekeli ukuba nengqwalaselo kuyo. Linokufakwa ntoni ibinzana elifanayo apho umntwana evile khona kuwo mama? Intombazana iya kuyeka ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakhe, iya kuzigcina zonke iimvakalelo ngaphakathi, eziya kuchaphazela kakubi imeko yayo yengqondo neyamzimba. Kuya kubakho iingxaki ekwakheni ubudlelwane phakathi kwezinto kwaye, kunokuba kunokwenzeka, akuyi kwenzeka ukuba balungiselele ubomi bakho.
Yintoni eza kuthi mama onothando afuna ukumxhasa umntwana? "Mhle, ndinawe, ndisondele. Ngokuqinisekileyo siya kufumana indlela yokuphuma kule meko. "
Umntwana usete iimeko ezininzi, kwaye uyaqonda ukuba uthando lwabazali kufuneka lufumaneke. Ukuba umama uthetha ibinzana lendodakazi efanayo, intombazana iqukumbela ukuba uthando aluyomvakalelo yokuba sinikwe intlawulelo, kodwa ifanelwe kukufakwa kwengqekembe. Umama uya kuthanda kuphela xa intombi isusa imizobo emva kwakhe, iya kwenza izifundo, ihamba nenja, njl njl.
Athetha ntoni amabinzana anjalo ngumama? Intombazana yobomi bam iya kuzama ukufumana uthando umama, ngelixa ulibale ngeminqweno yakho kunye neemfuno zakho. Uninzi olunokwenzeka, nabantwana bakhe, uya kuziphathela ngendlela efanayo nonina.
Abazali abazimeleyo baqonda ukuba uthando luyimvakalelo engenamqanda, isipho esinikwe kuye wonke umntu. Ngawaphi amazwi apho umntwana ovela kumama? "Intombi, ewe, ndenze into embi, kodwa ndisakuthanda, nokuba yintoni." Uthando lomama yonke imihla hugsha kwaye uncume umntwana, umxelela ukuba uyathanda, nokuba akazange ahlambe izitya okanye abe nophawu olubi esikolweni.
Kubi, ukuba umntu uhlukanisa abanye kubantu abalungileyo nababi. Kodwa osoyikekayo boyika ukuba iyenza umama kamama wakhe. I-crumbs ivela kwii-cookies, ijusi echithekileyo, i-screech evakalayo, isidlo sasemini esingapheliyo- nasiphina sothango-nasiphi na isidlo sethutyana sijika umntwana wakhe ngokomntwana "embi". Ingakumbi ukuba kukho intombazana "elungileyo" ekufuphi, efunda ezinye ezintlanu, engazange ingcolise, imamele abazali.
Xa umama ubeka ummelwane okanye umntu ofunda naye njengomzekelo, okokuqala, ukuzithemba kokuzithemba kuqala ukubandezeleka kwintombazana yakhe. Uziva engalunganga ngokwaneleyo ukuba angafanelwe luthando moms. Ukuba ufuna ukukhulisa umntu ofanelekileyo, ungaze uthelekise nabantu bangabanye abantu. Unokuthelekisa intshukumo yomntwana ngamaxesha ahlukeneyo, kodwa usoloko usoloko ubona amaxesha amnandi. "Sithandwa, uhlala unxibe i-kindergarten, kutheni ungafuni namhlanje? Into eyenzekileyo? " "Ngamagama anjalo anceda umntwana ukuba aphucule, hayi uthelekiso ne-Olya, elunge ngakumbi kunawe."
Bona: "Andiwuthandi umntwana wam ..." - wenza ntoni ukuba umama okanye utata akazange athande umntwana emvelweni
Ewe kunjalo, umsebenzi wabazali kukubonelela iimfuno ezisisiseko zomntwana (ukutya, hlawula, ukulala, ukulandela ukhuseleko). Kodwa abanye abantu abadala bayakholelwa ukuba ayikho into efunekayo kubo. Abachithi ixesha labo lokukhululeka ukuze banxibelelane kwaye badlale nabantwana, kwaye iingxaki zosana zithathwa njengeziqhinga ezingenabantu.
"Mama, akukho mntu ufuna ukudlala nam kwiyadi" - intombazana encinci yahlulwe yintlekele.
"Kulungile, kwaye loo nto, dlala yedwa. Ukuphumelela ukuba zingakanani izinto zokudlala onazo, "intombi kaMama yashenxiswa. Umntwana uziva ngathi ingxaki yakhe ayichukumisi namnye umntu amthandayo. Emva koko, oku kuya kukhokelela kwintshabalalo yolwalamano phakathi kukaMama nentombi, kunye nokulahleka ngokupheleleyo kwentembelo kumama.
Kule meko, umama onenkathalo nonothando uya kuzama kunye nentombazana ukuba ayikhuphe ukuba yintoni unobangela wokungafunini kwabantwana ukuba bawudlale kunye. "Mhlawumbi uthatha iithoyi kuzo okanye uphulise inqaba eyakhiweyo kwisanti? Kwaye masikhe inqaba enkulu-enkulu kunye! ".
I-Svetlana, eneminyaka engama-38:
"Asithethi nonyoko iminyaka emininzi. Ukusukela ndamshiya, akukho luhlobo. Yimalini endiyikhumbulayo, umama uhlala endibuhlungu. Hayi ngokwasemzimbeni, hayi, akazange abethe, akakohlwayi. Kodwa yonke imihla ndeva, ndiba netalente, ukuba andiyi kuphumelela, ndiya kusebenza njengoMnato, neeyadi ezivuthayo. Kwangelo xesha, bendisoloko ndifunda kakuhle, ndagqiba isikolo ngembasa yegolide. Ngoku ndiyaqonda ukuba ndizamile ukubonisa umama, into emi ebomini. Emva koko wangena eyunivesithi, kodwa akazange azole. Khange ayithande yonke into kum: Imbonakalo, umlinganiswa, isimilo. Kubonakala kum ukuba akufuneki azale konke konke. Imvakalelo enjalo yokuba ndibuphile ubomi bayo ngobukho bam. Emva koko ndenze bonke ingqumbo yabantwana ngengqondo. Khange nditshate, kodwa unyana wam wazala. Oku, ngandleleni, kuyenza njengento embi yesithuko nezityholo ezivela kumama. Xa ndandisesibhedlele, wabiza, kodwa ndingavuyisi, kodwa ndinebango eliqela kum. "Ungazala njani ngaphandle komyeni? Uya kukhula ngubani? Indoda eneenwele eya kubambelela kwingubo yakho? " Okwalo mzuzu ndacima ifowuni ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyeke ukunxibelelana nomama. Ndihlala ndixhasa unyana wam, ndihlala nditsho ukuba ndiyithanda kangakanani. Sisonke sizicombulula zonke iingxaki, kwaye uhlala esithi uyazidla kakhulu ngooMama. "Elena, eneminyaka engama-29 ubudala:
"Sinobudlelwane betyhefu kunye nomama. Uhlala efuna intelekelelo, nangona ebuntwaneni andizange ndifuneke. Andikwazi ukuxolela yonke into ayenzileyo. Kwakukho okuninzi: Ukuhlekisa ngenkangeleko yam, ukuxhaphaza abanye, kukhala. Xa umama wayesekhaya, bendifuna ukufihla ekoneni kwaye ndihlale apho de kube kuhamba. Ndibone oomama beentombi bayabathanda, ba hug, uncedo. Khange ndibenayo le nto. Ngoku ndiyintombazana yam, kwaye ndiyazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ungaziphathi njani nomntwana. Andiqondi ukuba ungayithandi njani intombazana yakho. Ndineyona nto ilungileyo, endiyithandayo, entle, kwaye engcono ndiza 'kuba ndongamela "kune" kungekudala ". Yoyikisa kwaye buhlungu xa umntu osenyongweni akakuthandi. Oku kuyakufuneka ukuba abuthande bonke ubomi bam, unokufuna uncedo kwi-psychologist. Kodwa nabantwana bakho, zama ukuphepha ezo mpazamo azenzileyo umama. Musa ukuphinda amabinzana akhe, ngokuchasene noko, zama ukugcina kwaye uncede abantwana bakho. Bafanele baluve uthando lwakho, kwaye ubomi babo bonwabe.