"Bunny, ikati? Hayi zoo! " Angelica Mirarfe malunga nendlela yokwahlukanisa ubomi besini emtshatweni

Yintoni ingxaki kubudlelwane?

Okokuqala kufuneka uchaze umxholo wengxaki. Kwi-psychology, le ngxaki yimeko kwisibini, xa ulungelelwaniso luphazamisekile. Oku kukhokelela kwimbonakalo yangaphakathi neyangaphandle yokungoneliseki. Ngokwemvelo, iya kubonakaliswa ngokuziphatha, iimvakalelo, iingcinga. Kodwa mna, njengengcali yengqondo, osebenza nezibini, ndikucebisa ukuba ndixhomekeke kwenye inkcazo ukuba ingxaki ibonwa njengotshintsho oluhle kwi-psyche, xa umntu engaziphathi kakuhle iqabane, amava. Oku kuqonda le ngxaki kuyinto eqhelekileyo!

Ukuba sithetha ngesibini, ke kulungile ukukhumbula amagama e-leo tolstoy ukuba "zonke iintsapho ezonwabileyo ziyafana, zonke iintsapho ezazingonwabisiyo akonwabanga ngendlela yayo." Kukho i-curissus enkulu yobudlelwane.

Yintoni etshintsha kwixesha ngalinye lobomi?

Kukho ugqirha wezengqondo waseMelika kunye nogqirha we-psychotherapia virginia eStir. Ichaza amaqhinga kwinto eyenzekayo kwisibini. Oko kukuthi, ubudlelwane butshintshe kungekuphela nje, kodwa ngamanqanaba aqhubekayo kubomi bosapho.

Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kweyona ngxaki ivakalelwa ngumntwana wokuqala kumaqabane. Idlala indima kunye nokunqongophala kwamava, kunye nemfuno yokuyeka ubomi obusekelwe xa yonke into ihlengahlengiswa kwiimfuno zomntwana. Kule meko, xa umfazi enikezela ngokuba ngumama, indoda ingena ngasemva. Akanamandla aneleyo, ixesha, umnqweno. Le yinto eqhelekileyo.

Kodwa apha uqala amabango amabango. "Awundincedi!" - "Kwaye ndifumana imali!" Akukho mntu ufuna ukuqondana. Emva koko oku kukrexeza okhulayo, ixesha lomntwana okwishumi elivisayo. Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, i-syndrome engenanto, xa abazali beziva bengeyomfuneko.

Kukho amaxesha olawulo kunye nengaqhelekanga. Zonke ndidwelise apha ngasentla, irhafu yokutshata komtshato. Kwelinye okanye ubungakanani, nganye nganye ijongene nobunzima kula maxesha. Kwaye kukho imizuzwana engaqhelekanga - isifo, ukufa kweqabane, ukuvukela ulwaphulo-mthetho.

Ukongeza, akukho mntu ucime ubugcisa beminyaka eli-10, iminyaka engama-20, iminyaka engama-30 yomtshato. Kwaye apha ndicebisa abantu abatshatileyo ukuba bangayilandeli inkcazo yengxaki yakho yodidi oluthile, kwaye ndiqwalasele ngokukhawuleza izizathu kunye neempawu ezizodwa.

Ngaba isimo sengqondo samahlakani sichaphazela ubudlelwane bamaqabane abatshata ngabo? Abanye banokutshata besebancinci kakhulu, ngelixa abanye, umzekelo, emva kweminyaka engama-40, basinda kuqhawulo mtshato.

Ayinamsebenzi ukuba abantu bangena njani abantu. Umtshato ukhona, okokuqala, ukhetho. Kwaye xa kukho ingxaki kwaye engaqondanga kwintsapho, kubalulekile ukuba sichonge isizathu sezinto ezimbi kulwalamano, nto leyo engakhethi cala. Ungahlala uvutha i-Deving kubudala! Ukuba sithetha iminyaka, ichaphazela inani leminyaka le laliphila kunye.

I-Angelica Murafer ikhona naziphi na iimpawu zengxaki kwiminyaka eyahlukileyo yokuphila kunye?

Ewe kunjalo! Ukuba sithetha ngeengxaki zeminyaka yokuqala yolwalamano-olu kukunqongophala kwamava, ubomi kunye nokuthandabuza ukuvelisa ngokufakelwa kunye nemigaqo apho kusetyenziswe khona amaqabane asetyenziswayo. Umzekelo, kwintsapho yomfazi wakhe, imisebenzi yasasazwa ngawo onke amalungu osapho, kwaye abafazi babebandakanyeka kwindoda yakhe.

Ekuqaleni kobomi bosapho, isimelabizo esithi ". "Saya kwiimovie", "sathenga", "sathatha" njalo njalo. Kodwa andikucebisi ukuba utsho. Uliqela, usapho olunobuhlobo, kodwa zombini zizinto zobuntu. Isiphoso sikhokelela kumaxabiso omdla, kwaye ngokophula umthetho omnye wamaqabane. Le yenye indlela okanye enye ikhokelela kumabango ahlukeneyo. "Ndibeka iminyaka yam elungileyo kuye!", "Ndingenza umsebenzi oqaqambileyo!", "Endaweni yokuhlamba i-diaper, ndingafunda isiTshayina!" -Ukulungela ukungakhathali okunzulu ekugqibeleni kuthulule iqabane lakho kwiqabane. Akukho mntu ufuna ukusola, kodwa atyhola enye.

Ukuba sithetha ngobomi obude kunye, ke oonobangela beengxabano kunye neengxaki zinokupheliswa amaqabane, utshintsho lwendima (yayingumama, waba ngumakhulu).

Ungayithintela njani ingxaki kubudlelwane?

Ekuqaleni, kubalulekile ukukhusela imida yakho. "Ilungisa- Ndiyazibuza", "Uya kutshintsha"-Yonke le nto ayizukudlula. Kutheni wakha imida yakho? Kuyimfuneko kuqala kubo bonke ukuze ingakhathazeki. Kuyimfuneko kwiqabane. Ukuba wakha eyakho imida, awunayo ilungelo lokwaphula, ukulawula isenzo sakhe, kodwa ungalawula ubomi bakho.

Umzekelo olula. Ndiyazi ukuba andikwazi ukumlawula omnye umntu ngokubhekisele kumazwi karhar. Kodwa ndiyakwazi ukumisa imida ndize nditsho ukuba andiyi kulucoze isimo sengqondo ngam. " Nje ukuba uvakalise, iqabane lakho liya kucaca indlela yokwakha unxibelelwano nawe, kwaye yena aluyi kumangaliswa kukuba ukutyeshele imiminyaka emihlanu ukuba ukhathazekile zizinto okanye ezinye izinto.

Bangayeka njani imida yobuqu yomnye? Umzekelo, phantsi kwengcaciso yononophelo: "Akunyanzelekanga ukuba unxibe le ntlanzi! Mfutshane kakhulu, ungabambela ukubanda. "

Qiniseka ukuba ufumana umdla oqhelekileyo, kodwa iinjongo eziqhelekileyo. Izibini ezininzi zingavumelani kwiminyaka yokuqala yokuphila kunye, kuba abaziboni iinjongo eziqhelekileyo, ukuphunyezwa kwezicwangciso. Kwaye, kunjalo, konke kuchaphazela ukuncitshiswa kwe-libido. Ngubani oza kufuna isohlwa nendoda engakuqondi!

Pexel / jessica titozzelli kwaye uthini ngomsa omnye komnye? Xa yonke ingqalelo kwiqabane? "Bunny, nge-bunny, umnqamlezo"? Ngaba iyakwazi ukubeka idangatye leThinteli?

Zonke ezi zinto zikhetho ze-zoo "bunny, ikati, i-pugoshka". Ke abazali babiza abantwana babo. Kwaye oku kuyenzeka kakubi kwi-libido. Ulwimi oluqhelekileyo Kwiminyaka yokuqala, akukho zingxaki kunye neengxaki ze-Libedo. Kukho iingxaki zonxibelelwano. Asisetyenziselwa ukuthetha ngesondo, iminqweno yethu, sinentloni ukuba sithethe ngesondo, fumana entsha. Ngeli xesha, kubalulekile ukuba ufundezele i-witxtine, oko kukuthi, ukubandakanya ubalo olushushu kwindawo ethe tyaba. Iyenza.

Kodwa i-syndrome ayinakuphepheka. Thanda iqabane elitsha kulula: I-novelty kunye neemvakalelo ziyasebenza. Abanye abacingi ukuba ungalufuna njani kwaye uthandane neqabane kwiminyaka emihlanu, elishumi. Kuyavela, kunokwenzeka. Kubalulekile ukukhulula, yandise imida yezinto ezinokwenzeka. I-poll isebenza kakuhle apha. "Uthanda ntoni?", "Yintoni le yakho?", "Ungathanda ukuzama ntoni?" njl.

Ukuba uyathandabuza ukubuza ngokuthe ngqo, zama ukulingisa ngokukhetha iimovie okanye iincwadi. Okanye nkqu ufumanise impendulo yeqabane ukuya kumava athile, axelele ibali, ekutyholezeni ukubandakanyeka nentombi yakho. "Khawufane ucinge, kwaye intombi yathenga imaski yekati! Waza umyeni wahleka, wothuka! " Kwaye jonga impendulo.

Ngaba zikho izinto ezichaphazela ubomi bezesondo?

Incopho yokwabelana ngesondo ebantwini iza kwiminyaka engama-30, kwaye isini sabafazi sityhilwa kuphela emva kweminyaka engama-30. Ixesha ukusuka kwi-37 ukuya kwengama-45 liqaqambile. Yenzelwe le pikili ukuba olona tshintsho lwabasetyhini. Kodwa ke ndiza kuphawula ukuba abantu basetyhini bayazibeka ityala, baguqula "i-bunny, ikati" kumntwana omkhulu. Kodwa kweli xesha kubalulekile ukukhuthaza, thumela, unike inkxaso.

Kuthekani ngathi? Amaqabane omnye komnye ngabantu abasondeleyo. Kodwa kuphela kwisicwangciso sokomoya. Akukho moto yomzimba, nangona kungekho ngxaki nge-Libedo. Kodwa awuzihlobo!

Ke ngoko, kuya kufuneka wongeze iinkanuko kunye nokuthantamisa kulwalamano. Ndikucebisa ukuba uphathe ubuqu kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Bukela i-albhamu kunye neefoto, yenza umthi wosapho kwaye uze nesiko esiqhelekileyo. Umzekelo, isidlo sangokuhlwa kunye. Fumana i-hobby jikelele, fumana i-realngqina yeholide, ebalulekileyo kuwe kuphela. Hamba ngemihla ngemihla.

Umfazi unokuvalela "ngesondo. Oku kuyakunceda zonke iintlobo zeethoyi zesondo. Ibhunga lebhinqa linombulelo ongazenzisiyo! Kumadoda-ora yomlomo, esemasensi.

Kwezi minyaka, amaqabane anokumamela omnye komnye, avume ukutshintsha, lungisa. Ke ngoko, kulula kakhulu ukubuyisela inkanuko. Kwanele ukwenza okungaqhelananga kwiminyaka yoMtshato.