Kukho iimeko ezahlukeneyo ebomini ezityhala
Bhala ukwala umntwana wakho. Abanye babengafuni umntwana ngokusekuqaleni, kodwa kwakusebusuku kakhulu ukuba aphazamise ukukhulelwa. Umntu othile uvakale
Kwaye uMama noPopu bagqiba kwelokuba abayi kujamelana nomthwalo onjalo. Kodwa yintoni kamva abazali? Ungahlala njani ngokuzolileyo, nisazi ukuba kwindawo yakho yasesiza, elahlekileyo kaMama kunye nengqwalaselo katata?
![Ungaphila njani abazali abawushiye umntwana wabo, amabali omzali 24083_1](/userfiles/21/24083_1.webp)
Imbali Umama, owashiya intombi yakhe kwikhaya leenkedama, emva koko wafuna ukumkhetha
Umfazi makabize uAna, wayehlala nomyeni wakhe kwidolophu encinci. UAnna wayesebenza njengomfundisi-ntsapho, umyeni wakhe yinjineli. Esi sibini sagqiba kwelokuba kuya kuba lixesha lokuba nomntwana, kwaye kwiinyanga ezili-9 kwavela intombazana entle. Kwiminyaka embalwa kamva, uAna nomyeni wakhe bacinga baza kwisigqibo sokuba intombi ifuna umntakwenu okanye udade. Ukukhulelwa okwesibini kuhlule nzima kuneyokuqala. Kodwa uAnna wayengakhathazeki, kuba ayiyiyo yonke into ihlala igudileyo. Ixesha elide luthuthuzelwe i-zunguosis, labeka izihlandlo ezininzi kulondolozo esibhedlele. Xa ibhinqa laqala ukukhulisa isisu sakhe, umyeni wakhe ngentombi yakhe ekhulileyo ethanda ukumbeka izandla aze alinde intombi encinci ukuba izokukhaba. Kwakuchukumisa kakhulu, kwaye intombazana endala kumaxesha ale thuba yaqala ukukhwaza kakhulu.
Umhla wokuhanjiswa kwabonwa. UAna waqokelela izinto eziyimfuneko, umama wakhe wawubukela umzukulwana wesidala. Ukuzalwa kudlula ngokukhawuleza nangokucocwa, kodwa ngenxa yesizathu esithile, uAnna akazange abonakalise basandul 'ukuzalwa. Xa umntu obhinqileyo ethuthwe kwiwadi, abongikazi bathabatha amehlo, kwaye umntwana akazange abuyisele yonke into. UAnna wayesodwa, ebengaqondi ukuba akunjalo. Kwaye emva koko intloko yeSebe yeza kuye yathi le ntombazana izalwe phantsi kwe-syndrome.
![Ungaphila njani abazali abawushiye umntwana wabo, amabali omzali 24083_2](/userfiles/21/24083_2.webp)
UAnna wahlala phantsi. Amagama entloko afikelela ngokuthe ngcembe umntu, wathi akuqonda ukuba kwenzeke ntoni, udonga lwalulula, kwaye umfazi waphela. Kwakukho iinyembezi, ukulala, uxinzelelo olubi. Intloko ebizwa ngokuba yi-Anna kwiofisi yakhe, yahlala phantsi ebhedini:
Kungcono uwushiye umntwana, kuba sele unentombi. Khawufane ucinge ukuba uza kumbona ukuba yonke imikhosi oyisebenzisileyo kwintombazana egulayo. Umncinci, kutheni kufuneka niwuthwale umthwalo onjalo bonke ubomi bam? Awuyi kunceda umntwana wam ogulayo, ndicinga njalo ngosapho lwakho, ngawe, ekugqibeleni. Uya kuzitshisa uphila ukuba uyithatha.UAnna akazange aqonde ukuba enze ntoni. Wazama ukucinga ukuba buza kuba nini na ubomi kunye nomntwana ogulayo, kwaye amehlo azele iinyembezi. Kwakusoyikisa ukushiya umntwana, kodwa kwandoyikisa ukuba kugoduke nentombazana enjalo. U-Anna uphume kwiKhabhinethi, exhobise eludongeni, waziva imilenze yaba ngumqhaphu kwaye uyala ukumphulaphula. Ngokungummangaliso wafika egumbini lakhe kwaye wabiza umyeni wakhe.
![Ungaphila njani abazali abawushiye umntwana wabo, amabali omzali 24083_3](/userfiles/21/24083_3.webp)
"Kungcono ukuba wasweleka, kuya kuba ngcono xa wazalwa efile." Kutheni sinayo?
Umyeni wam wathi:
- endlwini yethu, umntwana onjalo akasayi kuphila.
Ubomi emva
Isigqibo sakhe saxhaswa yiyo yonke into: Ootatomkhulu, abahlobo abasondeleyo. Indoda yayisele kufike kade ku-Anna ngokuhlwa, kwaye basinda kwisibhedlele sokwamaso, bemka apho, umntwana ongakhuselekanga. U-Ana uza kukhumbula indlela ababaleke ngayo emotweni, emva koko umyeni wabucinezela irhasi, ngokungathi ufuna ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza kwindawo yolwaphulo-mthetho. Intombi endala ka-Ana yathi lo dade wasweleka xa azalwe.
Kwiiveki zokuqala uAna nomyeni wakhe babethetha ngentombazana encinci, ababeyiphosa kwisibhedlele iMakhaya. Babesoyika ukuba intombi enkulu iyava, yathi yeyokuphuma kwendlela.
Ukanti, kwiinkedanage kunye nezikolo eziklasi ziyayazi indlela yokukhathalela abantwana. Kukho iingcali, iiklasi, ogqirha. Kwaye yintoni ekhaya? Singaphambana apha,-Ndizama ukufumana impikiswano indoda.
![Ungaphila njani abazali abawushiye umntwana wabo, amabali omzali 24083_4](/userfiles/21/24083_4.webp)
Ngelo xesha, umama wakhe weza kuAna. Wazama ukuxhasa, wathi isigqibo esifanelekileyo senziwa. Kwaye yena wajonga phantsi, kwaye ngokubanzi, angazami ukujonga uAna neqabane lakhe. Kwabonakala ngathi bonke basebenza kwintsapho yabo oye wenza ulwaphulo-mthetho olubi, kodwa kungengekabanjiswa ngamapolisa.
Endlini walawula ukuthumelela okuthumelela. Umyeni waqala ukuhlala eLounger emsebenzini, ootadamo babengaphantsi kwaye batyelele utyelelo. Kwakungekho zidlolo zosapho, ukuhamba ngekhefu, uhambo lwendalo.
"Andikwazanga ukulala ngaphandle kweepilisi zokulala iinyanga ezininzi. Umyeni walala ngokwahlukileyo, sayeka ukunxibelelana. Ndinoxinzelelo olukhulu, andifuni kuphila. Mhlawumbi, ngewayenze into kunye nam ukuba ibingeyiyo intombi enkulu, "-Uxelela uAna.
![Ungaphila njani abazali abawushiye umntwana wabo, amabali omzali 24083_5](/userfiles/21/24083_5.webp)
Ukusuka kwithemba, eli bhinqa laqalisa ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kwi-Intanethi. Wandula ke wafumana incoko, apho abazali babelane ngamabali abo. Yifunde kwakunzima kakhulu. Izibini zazibonakala ngathi zikhangela isenzo sabo, kodwa akunjalo.
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba uzixolele?
Ukuba ufunda ukuba abazali babhala ntoni, ababashiyayo abantwana babo, baqala ukuqonda ukuba sisiphi isihogo emhlabeni. Aba bantu bahlala kanye apho, esihogweni sabo. Bacinga ngesenzo sabo, malunga nomntwana ophosakeleyo, umzuzwana ngamnye. Ewe, kunzima kakhulu ukukhulisa umntwana ngokugula kakhulu. Kodwa kunzima ngakumbi ukuphila ngobukrakra entliziyweni emva kokuba ushiye umntwana ongazikhuseli kwinceba yekamva. Abazali bazama ukufumana isizathu: Kwisikolo esikhethekileyo sokubhoda, umntwana okhubazekileyo uya kuba ngcono kunangekhaya, asinalo ixesha, amandla, ithuba lokukhulisa umntwana onjalo. Kodwa zonke ezi zizathu zingahambiyo.
Ngabazali abashiya abantwana, buza yonke imihla: "Ndize ndixolele ngale nto ndiyenzileyo?". Kodwa impendulo icacile. Ewe kunjalo, akukho luxolelwa lo mthetho.
![Ungaphila njani abazali abawushiye umntwana wabo, amabali omzali 24083_6](/userfiles/21/24083_6.webp)
Ndwendwela kwisikolo sokubhoda
Xa enganyamezeliyo ukuba aphile kwimozulu enjalo, uAna wagqiba kwelokuba abone apho intombi yakhe yesibini ihlala khona. Ekuqaleni uye wafika kumnyango, emva koko wadibana nabasebenzi, waqala wabuza ukuba umntwana wakhe ulapho. Kwaye ngelo xesha ndaye ndaqonda ukuba ndikulungele ukubona indoda encinci ayenzayo ekukhanyeni kwaye iphosa.
"Xa ndimbona, intliziyo yam yangena kwintlama. Waye ngendlela efanayo nam, kakhulu. Ndacinga ukuba ndiza kumbona umntwana omnye, kodwa yayiyintombazana yam, "-Ukhumbula iinyembezi emehlweni ka-Anna.
Ngelo xesha umfazi wasinda, akazange afike e ntombazana. Kodwa ezingqondweni zakhe bekungenakwenzeka ukubaleka. Uye wakrola yonke imizuzu kwimemori njengeshorithi evela kwifilimu ekuhambeni okucothayo, intlanganiso yokuqala emva kokubaleka ihlazo kunye nentombi encinci. UAnna waza wakhutshelwa kwiSikolo sokuBekwa.
![Ungaphila njani abazali abawushiye umntwana wabo, amabali omzali 24083_7](/userfiles/21/24083_7.webp)
UAnna wema mgama kwaye wajonga intombi yakhe. Apha unomdla ujonge kwenye indawo, kwaye ke ngokungathi ingena kwiimvakalelo zam. Isikolo sokubhatalwa kwabasetyhini safika kumfazi. "Umntwana uyaqonda ukuba andidingi mntu," watsho umsebenzi wathi, uAnna waphuma, engazibambanga i-SOBS.
Izindlu zika-Ana zilinde umyeni wakhe ukuba athethe naye. Wavuma ngokunyaniseka ukuba wayekwisikolo sokubhoda wabona intombi yabo. U-Anna wathi: "Simele siyemkhamise," utshilo uAna, umyeni wakhe wathi ndiyavuma. Okokuqala ngqa, uAnna wafumana uncedo. Benze isigqibo, kwaye yayiyinyani kuphela.
I-HOSH Ithemba kunye neziCwangciso eziNtsha
UAnna kunye neqabane lakhe baxoxa ngento eyayiza kuthini. Bakhethe i-crib, iimpahla, iithoyi zentombi yentombazana encinci. Abazali baqokelelweyo amaxwebhu, beza kwisikolo sokubhoda. Kwaye ke umnxeba wakhala, owela onke amathemba osapho. Baxela ukuba intombazana ifile.
![Ungaphila njani abazali abawushiye umntwana wabo, amabali omzali 24083_8](/userfiles/21/24083_8.webp)
-U-ridal anna.
Umyeni wazama ukuthuthuzela, wayesondele, kodwa uAnna wayenzima kakhulu ekubulaweni kwentombazana encinci, eyayishiya ubomi bakhe ephambukeni, xa kwakungekho bantu behlabathi kufutshane. Kwaye ngenye imini wagobe iqabane lakhe waza wathi: "Masenze le ntombazana. Ndibone ukuba ndingangamkeli kangakanani kwisikolo sokubhoda? ".
![Ungaphila njani abazali abawushiye umntwana wabo, amabali omzali 24083_9](/userfiles/21/24083_9.webp)
Bafika abazali bomyeni wakhe no-Anna. Kude kube yintsasa, babonisa indlela yokufundisa nokukhulisa umntwana ngokugula kakhulu. Wonke umntu wayendawonye, wonke umntu wayesazi ukuba baya kujamelana nawo.
Ngoku kwintsapho uhlala kwintombazana ene-syndrome. Yena, njengelanga, khanyisa ikhaya labo ntsasa nganye. UAnna nomyeni wakhe babenenjongo yobomi, kwaye intombi yomphefumlo yakudala ingenalo udadewethu omncinci.