Ubomi babazali bale mihla bugcwele iimbono ezahlukeneyo, umzekelo, "Mnike umntwana umphuhlisi phambi kokuphumla," "uNyana / intombi yentombi ebalaseleyo kwindawo ethi wonke umntu akhutshiwe ukuze wonke umntu akhutshwe . " Kwangelo xesha, enye yento yokugqibela iphunyezwa ngokunyamezela okufanele ukusetyenziswa ngcono. Umzi-mveliso weholide wonyaka ngokwayo uyagcwaliswa kwakhona kunye nemeko ezintsha ezimangalisayo zokuzalwa zabantwana.
Le mpahla ithethwe ngabaququzeleli beminyhadala enjalo, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nabazali kwaye wafumanisa ukuba ngubani enyanisweni ndifuna imibhiyozo etyibilikayo - abantwana okanye abazali.
Makhulu kangakanani na sonke sihlanganisene apha namhlanje. Ukwenzela ntoni?
UKsenia, umama wabantwana ababini, ukholelwa ukuba usuku lokuzalwa lomntwana yiholide yosapho ethe cwaka, apho kungekho ndawo yokuzonwabisa yokuzonwabisa.
-Usapho lwethu, iintsuku zokuzalwa zabantwana-sisizathu sokudibana kwenye itafile, vuyisana negama lokuzalwa, litya ukutya okumnandi ekhaya kwaye lukhumbula usuku xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana xa sinomntwana. Unyana wam omncinci uneminyaka emi-5 ubudala, kwaye omncinci 2, kwaye ndiyakholelwa ukuba azidingeki yiholide zengxolo, yahlulwe ngombono kaKsenia. -Iholide yasekhaya kunye nesipho sixabisa malunga ne-5 lamawaka ruble. Mhlawumbi xa bemdala kwaye bababuza iholide entle, emva koko siyasiqukumbela ngokusekwe kunyango lohlahlo-lwabiwo mali losapho.
UCatherine, umama weentombi ezimbini, echasene noko, ukholelwa ukuba ukubhiyozela ipati yomhla wokuzalwa - inkqubo elula kwaye inokuthi ibize zonke izalamane nabahlobo bam.
"Ndifuna abantwana bam bazi ukuba le ngumhla oqingqiweyo wosuku lwakho lokuzalwa kufuneka lubhiyozelwe." Ndifuna ukuba baqonde ukuba kuhle xa kukho abahlobo abaninzi kwaye beza kuwe usuku lokuzalwa, "utshilo uCatherine. Ebuntwaneni bethu kwakungekho nani lemidlalo kunye nokuzonwabisa kwabantwana. Ewe, kwaye abazali bengowelesizukulwane, kuba babengakulungelanga ukuchitha imali ngeholide. Usuku lwethu lohlahlo-lwabiwo mali losapho kwigumbi lomdlalo lixabisa umndilili we-ruble yamawaka ali-10-16.
I-Tatiana (igama litshintshiwe) - Igosa leholide ngamava kwiiarhente ezininzi ze-kirov. Kumava akhe, isabelana ngamanqanaba abazali. Amanqaku okuqala anomda wemihla "ejikeleze" - 5, 10, 10, ukuze bakhunjulwe kubantwana ixesha elide.
-Bazali idla ngokuqala ukuziphathela njengokutsiba. Xa u-odola iholide, babonakala ngathi baphathe ivenkile kwaye babambe yonke into ngeshelufa ngaphandle kokuthetha: Ndifuna ukuboniswa, ndifuna uTatyana. Kule meko, umsebenzi womququzeleli kukuba iindwendwe azisothuswa yile "inyoka" yeenkqubo ezikhethiweyo, kwaye abantwana abadinwa yile mininzi. Iiholide ezinjalo ezintle zihlala zinika ubunzima-ngenxa yeempawu zobudala kunye nomhla wosuku.
Omnye udidi lwabazali, ngokwentombazana, - abo babuphazamisayo zonke iziganeko kubomi bomntwana. Njengomthetho, abantu abanjalo baqhuba umnqweno wokubonisa amandla abo kwimali. Rhoqo oku kwenziwe ukuba abantwana, kodwa abanye abazali. Kodwa eli tyala elinye, amanqaku abathango. Ngokwesiqhelo abathengi abanjalo bathi bafuna nje ukuphulukana nempumlo yabo.
- Kodwa nangona kunjalo, abaphulaphuli abaphambili ngabathengi abaqhelekileyo. Injongo yabo kukufumana ukulalanisa phakathi kovuyo lomntwana ukusuka kwiholide kunye nexabiso layo, utshilo intombazana leyo.
Iholide elibalekileyo
Njengoko i-PSCHOLOGISTION ye-psyclogist yosapho iphawula i-Nadezhda Bushmelev, kuya kufuneka ubhiyozele imihla yokuzalwa komntwana kwaye kunokwenzeka kunyaka wokuqala wobomi, kodwa nokuba umthendeleko, umntwana akazukukhumbula.
Ingcali ethi "Abantwana abayi kuyikhumbula le nto ngenxa ye-AMnesia yabantwana," chaza ingcali. - Kwinkumbulo zangaphambi kwexesha lomhla omncinci wokuphelelwa. Umntwana uyakhula, kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe ubomi beenkumbulo zeenkumbulo ziyanda, kude kube ekugqibeleni, ayifikeleli ixesha elinemida yokugcina iinkumbulo ezizezona. Malunga neminyaka emi-4 ukuya kweli-6, ezi ziganeko ziya kuhlala zikhumbula.
Ngokokujonga oovimba, inqaku labantwana ngokwabo lingadingeki kuphela, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha liyakothusa. Amanqaku ka-Anna Kashuna amanqaku kangangokuba ayenzeka rhoqo xa abantwana bejamelana nabalinganiswa okanye ukuba umdlali unelizwi elikhulu.
Ngamanye amaxesha abazali bayacelwa ukuba bachithe iholide ngononophelo, njengoko sele benamava eeholide ezingaphumelelanga. Abantwana abaneminyaka emi-2 ukuya kweli-3 ubudala bayoyika i-apinator, kuba inkulu kune-cartoons okanye iincwadi, - ixelela intombazana.
Umama omkhulu kunye nomququ weholide ngamava amancinci amava uMarina Sunzova amanqaku ukuba kubaluleke kakhulu ukumamela umntwana kwaye kungabikho tyala lokunyanzela:
-Iimvakalelo ezintle azixhomekeki kubudala, imeko yabantu abajikelezileyo kunye nemeko yengqondo yegumbi lokuzalwa libalulekile. Ukuba umntwana wothuka ngenani elikhulu labantu okanye imeko engaqhelekanga, akuyi kubakho mvakalelo. Nangona unyaka, ubuncinci iminyaka emihlanu. Kwenzeka, abantwana boyika okanye beneentloni kwaye benganxibelelani nabantwana abadala. Indlela abasabela ngayo abazali kunye noOvia ubalulekile. Akunakwenzeka ukuba umntwana adlale okanye athi woyike ukuba woyika.
Amaxabiso eFom kwaye ayiyonakalisi
Njengoko abazali eNadezhda Bushemelev Amanqaku, ngamaxesha amaninzi abazali bazama ukuhlawula intsilelo yabantwana babo ngoncedo lwabantwana (ukunqongophala kwento - i-Ed.). Umzekelo, xa abazali bebengenazo iiholide ezikhanyayo ebuntwaneni, kwaye bafuna kakhulu. Kwaye ngokufika komntwana, babonakala bethuba lokwenza eli phupha ngomntwana wabo. Ngokutsho kwengcali yengqondo, akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngale: Umbhiyozo womhla wokuzalwa uthabathwa kwinkcubeko yezenkcubeko kunye nezithethe, phuhlisa ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo kunye nenxalenye yesiko lobomi.
Kwangelo xesha, iBushzhda Bushmelev igxininisa abazali ukuba kukho ithuba lokutyibilika umntwana oneholide eziqaqambileyo kwimbeko yakhe. Umsebenzi wabantu abadala uya kubonisa kwaye ubeke kwifom ebantwaneni imilinganiselo yobomi, imida yengqondo kwaye ifundise ukwazi umlinganiso kuwo onke amabakala obomi. Kwangelo xesha, ugqirha wezengqondo ngokukhethekileyo cinga ukuba wonke umntu ugqiba kwelokuba wonke umntu ahlala naye, angayibhiyozela indlela yeholide, ngenxa yokuba abantu abadala lilinye ithuba lokuphila amava abantwana abo, kodwa ngeminye imibala kunye neemvakalelo.
-Iholide ayifanelanga ukuba ifanise, kwaye ingalibaleki. UMarina Sunzova uthi: "Ayixhomekekanga ekuphakameni kwekhekhe okanye uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali.