Umxholo wobundlobongela wokuzalwa komntwana kunye namava ophoso lokuzalwa kunye nokukhulelwa kusenziwa - kungekuphela nje kuthi, kodwa nakwangaphandle.
Abafazi batyholwa ngokwabo ukuba ngokwabo bazizizisela isithuba esinjalo ukuba bagqithisele kwaye buthi ngokubanzi "eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kukuba umntwana usempilweni!".
Le motto iphosa ngokulula yonke imigudu kunye nokubandezeleka kukamama, oqonda ukuba impilo yomntwana ibaluleke kakhulu, kodwa zininzi nezinye izinto ezingenakuchazwa. I-Colmomist Story Momandla Katie Kloyd ibhala isicatshulwa esikhulu kwaye sihlaba isicatshulwa malunga nesizathu sokuba libinzana elithi "impilo entle" ayikho into elungileyo. Ndiyiguqulele kuwe ngamanyala amancinci.
Xa ndandikhulelwe ndinomntwana wam wokuqala, ndatsho okungenani: "Ndifuna ukuba ndibenempilo esempilweni." Mhlawumbi ndiyitshilo emntwini xa ndisabela kumbuzo wendlela endiceba ukuzala ngayo. Mhlawumbi ndiphendule umbuzo malunga nokuba ngubani endifuna ngakumbi - inkwenkwe okanye intombazana. Andikhumbuli xa ndiyithethile, kodwa ndiqinisekile ukuba nditshilo kanye, kuba okwangoku bendikholwa kuwo. Ndacinga ukuba lo gama nje siphile ngokwasemzimbeni, yonke enye into ayinamsebenzi.
Eli binzana lajika laba lutolo entliziyweni yam, emva kokuba ndinesihogo sobuhlungu. Xa kwazalwa unyana wam, ndaqonda ukuba ungaba nomntwana ophilile ngaxeshanye, nentliziyo eyaphukileyo.Xa abantu beva ngamava omntwana wam, uninzi lwabo lwazama ukuqonda into eyoyikisayo endiye ndahamba kuyo, ndisithi: "Ewe, eyona nto iphambili kukuba umntwana usempilweni, okona kubaluleke kakhulu."
Kodwa babenempazamo.
Ewe, amava am abuhlungu anokuba mandundu. Ndinombulelo ongazenzisiyo ngenxa yokuba mna nonyana wam abukandenzakala emzimbeni ngenxa yembonakalo yakhe yobuhlungu. Ukuba omnye wethu wayonakaliswe kakhulu okanye into embi kakhulu, kuya kufuneka ndijongane nengozi enkulu. Kodwa iintlungu endibuhlungu nazo ziseyinyani, nangona iscript yam ayizange ibe yeyona nto imbi kakhulu.
Xa kufikwa kufikelelwa ekukhulelweni nasekuzalwaneni, imicimbi emininzi- hayi nje "umntwana osempilweni."
Ibhinqa lifanelwe kukuziva. Yoyikisa kakhulu ngokuzala umntwana kwaye wazi ukuba akukho mntu umamela. Ayinamsebenzi ukuba ulungiselela njani, kodwa xa into engalindelekanga iqala ukwenzeka, kubalulekile ukuba uvakalelwe kukuba ogqirha bamamela iimfuno zakho kunye neminqweno yakho. Xa uziva ungakuhoyi, uloyiko lwakho kunye nentlungu lungahlala ixesha elide kunokuzalelwa.
Emva kokuzala kwakhe umntwana, ndaziva ndingenakukhusela, ndikhulele, ndidlwengulwe kwaye ndinesimilo.Unyana wam akazange abe yiPannacea, eyayiza kundinceda ukuba ndikhuphe yonke into eyoyikisayo nelusizi, ondithwele intliziyo yam emva kokuba yonke into ihambe kakuhle.
Umntwana osempilweni akancedi abalibale zonke ezo zinto zintle bendiyiva kwigumbi lokusebenza xa ogqirha bacinga ukuba ndiyalala. Lo mntwana mncinci ungenakutshintsha into yokuba ugqirha wasika isibeleko sam ukusuka ngasentla ukuya kuthi ga kwi-Demis ngaphandle kwesizathu, undiphazamisile ithuba lokuzalwa njengoko ndingathanda.
Kumntwana, ekugqibeleni, yonke into ihamba kakuhle, kodwa andazi ngayo xa ndishiya umntu kwigumbi lokusebenza - ndandixoka kwaye ndiziva ngathi ndibusi. Andisokuze ndiyilibale indlela umyeni wam obaleka ngayo kwipaseji, ukuze ufumanise ukuba kutheni umntwana wethu eza kuthathelwa ingqalelo kukhathalelo olubanzi. Sasinomntwana osempilweni, kodwa yayingeyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu.
Nam bendiye ndabaluleka, kwaye xa ndandizala umntwana, akukho mntu undikhathaleleyo.
Kwandithatha iminyaka emihlanu ukudibana ubuso ngobuso nogqirha wotyando, ondonzakele. Akazange andikhumbule, kodwa ngonaphakade utshintsha indlela endijonga ngayo umzimba wayo kunye nokuzala.
Ayisiyo kuphela imvakalelo yokuzalwa komntwana ophulukene nengcinga yokuba "eyona nto ibalulekileyo ngumntwana ofanelekileyo." Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana abaphilanga.
Kwaye abantwana abazalwa benezifo ezinzulu babalulekile. Njengabazali babo.
Ndathetha noAmanda Pitts, umama wabantwana abahlanu eNashville, i-tennessee, indlela umntwana wakhe afumana ngayo isifo esongela ubomi baboyikisayo. UAmanda wandixelela ukuba xa wabona intombi yakhe okwesihlandlo sokuqala-calley - waqonda ngoko nangoko yonke into.
UAmanga uthi: "Andijonganga umntwana wam omuhle ndaza ndaqonda ukuba iphantsi kwesifo se-Ananda. -Ndixelele ngalo myeni wam iiyure ezine kamva. Akazange andikholelwe. Yathi: "Kodwa simncinci kakhulu ukuba singazalwa umntwana onesifo se-syndrome." Kodwa ndandisazi ukuba akunjalo. "
Oogqirha baqinisekisile ukukrokrela kuka-Amanda. Kwaye xa yena nomyeni wakhe uRobert waqala nje ukuba baqhele ukucinga ukuba ubomi bomntwana wabo awuyi kujonga njengokuba babecinga ngokwabo, enye into eyenzekileyo.
Ugqirha waxelela uAmanda noRobert ukuba le ntombazana yayisingatha isahlulelo sokudibana. Usana lwabo lwalunomngxunya entliziyweni. Imalunga nesiqingatha sabantwana nge-syndrome. Kwaye i-calley wayenkulu. UAmanda woyikeka ngenkanuko nganye kwaye wamthanda.
Wayeneminyaka engama-22 kuphela ubudala. Ngexesha lokukhulelwa, akukho nto iqingqiweyo i-calley phantsi i-calley i-syndrome - okanye isifo sentliziyo, esisongela ubomi bakhe kwaye sisoyikisa iminyaka esixhenxe yokuqala.
Ngo-2018, i-calley iqhube ngempumelelo utyando ngentliziyo evulekileyo, ngenxa yoko umngxunya kuwo wawuvaliwe ngonaphakade. Ngaphandle kwento yokuba uAmanda aza kuzala oonyana abane ngeentliziyo ezinempilo kwaye akasakwazi ukuthoba ngaphambi kokuba abone umntwana wakhe, kwaye ugqirha uya kungqina ukuba intliziyo yakhe ilandelelana.
"Xa ndandikhulelwe i-bleyley, ndaphupha kakhulu kuyo yonke into ukuba ibe sempilweni. Kodwa yonke into ihamba kakuhle. Wazalwa enegriko yentliziyo, wathatyathwa ukuba unakho ukhathalelo olunzulu ngenxa yokuphefumla, kuba ubomi bakhe obufutshane bakwazile ukujongana neengxaki ezininzi zempilo, "utshilo uAnanda.
Uthi: "Ndisathandazela ukuba abantwana bam bazalwe baphilile. Ndiqhelene nam ukuba umntwana wakho uza kuzalwa esinesiphene sokulinganisa ubomi bakhe, kwaye andisokuze ndifune ukudlula kuyo. " Kodwa nokuba bendisazi kwangaphambili ukuba i-calley yayiza kuzalwa ndinomngxunya entliziyweni kunye neengxaki ezininzi ze-concomimint ngenxa ye-syndrome, bendiya kulinda. Ngekhe ndifune ukuyisusa okanye ndiyitshintshe kumntwana onentliziyo efanelekileyo. Xa ndimve abantu besithi "eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kukuba umntwana abe sempilweni," ndihoya kancinci. Umntwana wam usabalulekile, ngaphandle kwento yokuba wazalelwa kwizigulana. "
Ithemba lokuba umntwana uzalwe esempilweni- olu ulindelo oluqhelekileyo olunokubakho ngokunxulumene nomntwana wakhe. Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokusitsho ukuba unethemba lokuba umntwana wakho uya kuba sempilweni. Isenokuba libinzana eliqhelekileyo, elinokuthi, umzekelo, linokusetyenziselwa ukulingisa umntu ongenawo umntu ongenako konke ukuba nomntwana wakho.
Kodwa kufuneka sonke silumkele xa uthetha nomntu obandezeleka ukuba baziva bekhathazekile ukuba baziva behle kwaye bangakhathazeki, kuba umntwana wabo wazalwa esempilweni.Sifanele siqonde ukuba eli binzana linokubangela ukuba abazali balinde umntwana ezineengxaki zempilo esele besazile kubo. Akufanele bancume ngentlonelo ukuphendula ingcinga yokuba "yeyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kukuzala umntwana osempilweni."
Kuyinyani na apha ukuba zinjalo, zifana kakhulu kwaye zilinde umntwana wabo - isempilweni okanye ayikho.
Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka siyeke ukunqwenela umntwana wempilo entle kunye nezinye iimpahla nokuba zinjani na iimeko. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhumbula ukuba umntwana osempilweni ayisiyiyo kuphela into "ebaluleke kakhulu", enokubakho kuphela, kwaye uqonde ukuba amazwi ethu achaphazela njani ukuba amazwi ethu achaphazela ngayo ukuba amazwi ethu achaphazela njani ukuba amazwi ethu achaphazela ngayo ukuba amazwi ethu achaphazela njani ukuba amazwi ethu achaphazela ngayo ukuba amazwi ethu achaphazela njani ukuba amazwi ethu abachaphazela ngayo abanye abantu.
Isafundwa ngesihloko
