Unyango lwenkohlakalo ebuntwaneni lunokujongwa njengendlela "yokuthinjwa", ukugculela ixesha elide xa umntwana ebona ukuba uyabaleka.
Ithunyelwe ngu: Shahid Arab
Ukuguqulela nezifinyezo: Anna Skatitina, Psychotherapist
Iindawo zokulimala ezintsonkothileyo zenza zonke ii-akhawunti zobomi. Uninzi lwabantwana abaphantsi kogonyamelo lubambelele kwithemba lokuba ukukhula kuya kubazisa inkululeko. Kodwa umntu oyenziwe kwimeko yokulawula unyanzeliso akaqheliselwa ukuba mdala. Ukusinda emva kokonzakala kusisigxeko esisisiseko seTrasti, inyathelo lokuqala. Umsebenzi wokuqala ngokukhula ngokukhula kunye nokusondela ujongene nobunzima obukhulu ekumiselweni kwenkonzo, ubuchule bokuqonda kunye nememori, isazisi kunye nokukwazi ukwenza ulwalamano oluzinzileyo. Basengabathinjwayo bobuntwana babo; Ukuzama ukudala ubomi obutsha, baphinda bahlangabezana nokonzakala, "- uJudith Herman," umothuko kunye nokubuyiselwa: Iziphumo zobundlobongela - ukusuka kubundlobongela basekhaya ukuya kunkwantywala kwezopolitiko "
Abasindileyo emva kokulimala okuntsonkothileyo bajamelene nengxaki yokuba bambalwa abantu abanokuqondwa: banyanzelekile ukuba bajongane nezinto ezitsha zoxinzelelo, ukuzama ukuphelisa abanye abantu kwixesha elidlulileyo. Ukoyisa ezi ndawo zokulimala, kufuneka ube nesibindi, inkxaso kunye nexesha. Indlela yokuphiliswa komntu osinde ukonakala okukhulu, okunemithombo emininzi, ibalulekile. Inyani yemihla ngemihla yomntu enomkhwa obenobunzima igcwaliswa zizilonda ezincinci ezifakwe kwindawo enkulu kwindawo yemfazwe yengqondo, yingcali yengqondo. Abasindileyo emva kobundlobongela kunye nokulimala abanye abantu bajamelene nengxaki ephindwe kabini: Abacinezeli boontanga babo, kodwa bahlala becinezelwa ngamalungu osapho, abantu abagunyazisiweyo kunye nezinye iimeko zobomi. Xa ubundlobongela buxhaswe ngamanye amachaphaza imidlalo okanye imicimbi yobomi ephithiphithi, ngokungathandabuzekiyo ifuthe elinamandla. Kwenzeka ntoni xa umntwana ehlekisa kwaye esikolweni, kwaye ekhaya, kuya kufuneka ukhuseleke phi? Zeziphi iziphumo ezigcinwe kwaye zihlale kude kubuntwana, xa kungekuphela nje oontanga, kodwa ngaba abazali bendoyikisa ixhoba? Kuthekani ngeziphumo zobundlobongela obungapheliyo-uhlobo lokuxhaphaza abanye, oko kusenzeka iminyaka emininzi kubomi bomntwana wesikolo, yintoni engeyiyo umlinganiswa wexesha elincinci?
Iziphumo zokuxhatshazwa zihleli ebomini
Xa umntu ubomi bakhe bonke wafakwa kwiimeko ezininzi zokunyanga, kuquka, phakathi kwezinye izinto, ukuxhaphaza abanye, ukungathobeli kwabazali basekhaya, / okanye ukugula kwezesondo, okanye ukubuya kobundlobongela obuqala, kwangaxeshanye Impembelelo yezinto ezininzi ziphinda zakhiwe ngengqondo, ukwaphula isazisi, ukuzithemba kunye nobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu.
Ngokutsho kweBesssel Van Der Rka, ukwenzakala kwenza ukuba ubuchopho bube nengqondo, kwaye bungakhumbuli imisebenzi yanamhlanje. Abasindileyo emva kokulimala, bacwangciswe ukuvavanya ukuphinda basebenzise konke, zonke iimvakalelo zokuziva zoloyiko kunye nokungancedi. Ukuxhaphaza kudala isisongelo ezinzulu zentlalo, ngokweemvakalelo nangokufunda kumaxhoba ajongana nayo; Amaxhoba owoyikisayo ahlala ephosa isikolo, azibulala, athabathelise izinto zengqondo, ukulwa noxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kwaye uzithemba uphantsi.
Ukuba umntwana uhluthwe ngaphandle kwenkxaso kumalungu osapho okanye abantu abadumileyo, uxinzelelo olunobutshekileyo ebomini bomntwana luhluthiswa uphuhliso oluphezulu kwangoko. Umntwana oshiywe ngamalungu osapho okanye ulawulo lwesikolo kwiimeko ezinzima ngokungathandabuzekiyo ukubandezeleka.
NgokweZiko loPhuhliso loMntwana kwiYunivesithi yaseHarvard, "ngaphandle kwenkxalabo ngabantu abadala abasebenza njenge-buffer yabantwana, ukungakhathali okungapheliyo okubangelwa yintlupheko yabantwana, ukungakhathali, ukudakumba okukhulu, kunokwenza buthathaka ukusebenza kwe Ukuhlakulela ingqondo eneziphumo zexesha elide kuqeqesho, indlela yokuziphatha, kunye nempilo yomzimba nengqondo. "
Ukulimala okuntsonkothileyo kunye nokuntywila kwengqondo
Ngelixa ukwenzakala okunye kuhlala kunxulunyaniswa nokuphuhliswa kokuphazamiseka koxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo, ukwenzakala okuntsonkothileyo kunokubangela ukuba iimpawu ezihamba ngaphaya kwengxaki ye-post-motch-le inokukhokelela kuxinzelelo oluntsonkothileyo. UJudith Herman wazisa igama elithi "i-Premotic Caremotic Preminatic Cragic Dericaric" yokucacisa ukuba kwenzeka ntoni xa umntu efumana ixesha elide ubundlobongela basekhaya, ubundlongondlongo obude bokomoya, Inkampu yamabanjwa emfazwe kunye neenkampani zabantwana zokusebenzisa abantwana. Ukongeza kwiimpawu eziqhelekileyo zokuphazamiseka kwengqondo emva koxinzelelo, kubandakanya ukungaphaphethi okugqithisileyo, ukugxininisa, iinkumbulo ezinobunzima kunye nenkumbulo, umntu onesidima, umbono ogqwethekileyo Ngobundlobongela boonobumba kunye nokuphula ulwaphulo-mthetho.
Unyango lwenkohlakalo ebuntwaneni lunokujongwa njengendlela "yokuthinjwa", ukugculela ixesha elide xa umntwana ebona ukuba uyabaleka. Ngokutsho kwe-Therapist-Hamologist yasePita Walker, imithombo emininzi yokwenzakala inokukhokelela kwimvakalelo engacocekanga yehlazo, inkohliso 'yemvakalelo eyenza ukuba iphile "i-retrolonce" ibuyele kwingozi yokuqala. Nangona i-ptsd ye-ppsd ihlala idityaniswa nesondo okanye ubundlobongela obuphathelele ngokwesondo, umhambisi uqinisekisa ukuba ukungavisisani ixesha elide ngokweemvakalelo kunye nobundlobongela bungayinto entsha. Ewe, izifundo ezininzi ziqinisekisa ukuba ubundlobongela obuthethayo kunye neemvakalelo bunokubangela ingozi enkulu kubulumko bokuqala, kunye nobundlobongela obuphathelele emzimbeni (umhloli, ngo-2006; Choi, ka-2013).
Ukuveliswa kwakhona kokulimala: Uluhlu ukuphindaphinda
Inxalenye ye-ppsd ye-ptsd kukuba abagqirha babiza "ukunyanzela ukuphindaphinda." Kwincwadi yakhe, iimbophelelo zokungcatsha: Inkululeko evela kubudlelwane obuxhaphakileyo "uPatrick Karnes ubhala:" Ngokwenxalenye, ukuphindaphinda kukuzama ukusombulula ukwenzakala. Ukuphindaphinda amava, ixhoba liphinde lizame ukuza nendlela esebenzayo yokuphelisa uloyiko. Kodwa endaweni yoko, ixhoba lisenza inxeba lokuzikhathalela. " Ayiphumelanga ngaphandle kokutsho inani lokulimala umntu ojamelana ngaxeshanye liya kuba nefuthe kumandla omjikelezo wokulimala. Ukulimala ngokudibeneyo kunye nolunye ukwenzakala ukonyusa umngcipheko wokonzakala kokulimala ebudaleni.
Akumangalisi ukuba isifundo sibonise ukuba abantwana abazahlulweni nabo kunye noontanga baqwalaselwa kakubi, ngakumbi kunabantwana, babonisa ukuba basebenza kakubi ekhaya, babonisa iingxaki ezinzulu kwimpilo yengqondo. Ngenxa yefuthe elikhulu lemonakalo, kunye neMfazwe yeMvelo nezengqondo, ehlala ihamba incoko, isisinda kwincoko engaphakathi, inyanzela ukuba iqhubeke ihlasekile, kwaye iqhubeke isangqa esikhohlakeleyo sokugula- unyango.
Banokulwa neentloni, oko kufanele ukuba aboni babo, kwaye baphuhlise iindlela ezingezoziphilo eziguquleleyo zokuhlangabezana nazo. Ezi ndlela zeDezadaapative zizama ukufumana ukungakhathali, ukwenzakala okungathandekiyo ebomini babo bonke ngentshabalalo yokutshabalalisa kunye nokomeleza ukwenzakala. Sisinda ngokulimala okuhlanganisiweyo, unokukhangela iindlela ezingakhuselekanga zokulawula (umzekelo, ukuzilimaza, ukungondleki okanye ukusebenzisa iziyobisi, njl. Njl.) Ukuzama ukuphila kwimeko enzima. Ukunyuka kwengcungcutheka kokulimala kwaye ukugula kungakhokelela kuhlobo lokuziphatha njengoko kugcina ubudlelwane, iziyobisi, ukungakhathaleli ngokwesini, ukuzama ukungakhathali, ukwenza i-"Contration" ekuphenduleni iimpawu .
Umzekelo, uphononongo "amava oLuntu olungathandekiyo" lubonise ukuba unyango olungagungqiyo ebuntwaneni lungaphumisi kuphela umngcipheko weengxaki zempilo, ezinjengokutyeba, isifo sentliziyo, ukubetha, ukubetha, imizamo yokuzibulala, Ukukhulelwa kolutsha, ii-STD, njl.
Ukuveliswa kwakhona kokulimala okudlulileyo ayisiyonto iphambili, kodwa sisiphumo sokwenzakala ngokwako.
Ukuzahlula eluntwini, ixhala kunye nolwalamano olutshata
Olunye uphawu lokulimala okuntsonkothileyo ngokuxhatshazwa kukhulise ixhala lentlalontle kunye nokuzibulala njengendlela yokuzikhusela; Amaxhoba kaHoligan ahlala engavumi ukuhlala esikolweni ukuze aphephe iindawo apho kwakusenzeka. Banokoyika kwaye bangamthembi oontanga babo okanye abagwetyiweyo, ngakumbi ukuba bayazi ukuba aba bantu bangenzanga nto ukubakhusela. Le yimeko yonke yokungathembani, ngelishwa, akwenzi ukuba abasindileyo bakhuseleke kwezi patheni kubudlelwane babantu abadala. Xa ukulimala kwabantwana rhoqo kwaye kungapheliyo, kuya kuba nokunganyamezele umzimba kwaye kushiya umzimba kwindawo engaphaphileyo yokuphaphazela kunye nochulumanco (i-PERRY, 2000).
Ukungcatshwa kwenxalenye yabahlobo abasondeleyo, amalungu osapho okanye amaqabane anokubangela uPatrick Karnes ubiza "ulwalamano lwenkohliso" kunye nengqondo yengqondo. Iintambo zenzakaliso - ezi ziibhondi ezikhula phakathi kwamaxhoba kunye naboni; Ezo bhanti zisebenza njengeendlela zokukhusela ezivumela amaxhoba ukuba aphile kwindawo engapheliyo nenobutshaba.
Ndiye ndafumana ukuhlukumeza ekhaya kunye nezikolo zinokuphucula imikhwa ebangela indawo yabanye abantu ngenxa yokuba kwakufuneka bahambe ebuntwaneni ngokungathi bakwele. Iimeko apho abasindileyo babe zizithulu zogonyamelo lweemvakalelo kunye nengqondo ngokwasemphefumlileyo, zinokubanyanzela ukuba bajonge amaqabane kunye nabahlobo ababakhumbuza ngobokuqala ababokuqala.
Xa abantwana begculela ngaphezulu, babe ngabantu abadala, babona ubundlobongela obuphathekayo 'njengendawo eyingozi ", eyingozi yokuthuthuzela, ebamba umgibe wokwenzakala komjikelo wokuphindaphindiweyo. Kungenxa yoko le nto abantu abaninzi abasinda ebuhlungu besenza buthathaka kwaye beqhubeka besoyikisa indlela yokuziphatha, xa besazi ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato buhlala luba luphawu lwezinto ezinzima .
Ukuphilisa ukwenzakala
Ngaphandle kobunjani obunzima bokulimala, kukho ithemba lokuphilisa nokuzibonakalisa. Abasindileyo emva kokulimala okuntsonkothileyo banokubhekisa kwiindlela zabo zokuphilisa, kubandakanya iindlela zemveli zonyango, i-EDR, i-HARM, i-yoga, i-yoga, i-yoga, i-yoga, ezinye iindlela zokusebenza.
Iindlela zokuphilisa kufuneka zisoloko zixoxwa ngengcali eqinisekisiweyo yokuqinisekisa ukuba ukusinda kuthathela ingqalelo iimfuno zayo ezizodwa kunye nengqumbo. Abasindileyo banokufunda ukuba balusizi malunga nelahleko yokuba basinda kubuntwana kwaye bebadala, ukuba baziqonde zonke iimvakalelo ezivela ekulimaleni okunzima. Banokufunda ukujamelana nokuncokola ngokwabo kwaye bafunda 'ukubuyisela "umntwana wabo wangaphakathi ngoncedo lweengxaki.
Banokufuna inkxaso kusetyenziswa unyango lweqela nabanye abantu abaye bafumana ukonzakala, abahlobo abathembekileyo okanye abacebisi, kwiiforamu malunga nokulimala okwi-Intanethi. Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu, banokuphinda babhale amabali abo malunga nokuzithemba kumabali malunga namandla nenkululeko yokuthanda.
Malunga noMbhali waseShahid Aras - iYunivesithi yeYunivesithi, apho wafunda khona ifuthe lobundlobongela kubomi bamaxhoba. Ungumbhali wabathathu abalungileyo. Ungayifumana ibhlog yakhe malunga nokuphatha inkohlakalo kunye nokulimala kwinkanuko yokuzikhathalela.