Emdala
Nakuphi na ukubonakaliswa kobundlobongela obuphathelele emzimbeni (iPlieers, ukuluma, ukubetha) kuthathwa njengokuphambuka kwesiqhelo. Ekuhlaleni, iintshukumo ezinjalo ngokunxulumene nomnye umntu zigwebe, kodwa indlela yokunyanga njani abazali bakhe? Ngaba ungavumela okufanayo
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Ngokuziphatha okunje ngabantu abadala?
Iingcali zengqondo zabantwana Qaphela ukuba ngokunxulumene nabantwana akufuneki bacinge ngamanqanaba. Akukho mbono "ombi" kunye "okuhle". Ukuziphatha komntwana yindlela yokujongana neengxaki ezikhoyo. Ukugweba ngendlela usana oluziphethe ngayo, kunokuqondwa njani ukuba kuyamkhathaza, fumana iingxaki ezazibangela ubundlongondlongo. Ukuba krok ngequbuliso yaqala ukubetha okanye ukuluma abazali, akunyanzelekanga ukuba ayitshabalalise. Kodwa ukuze uqonde ukuba kutheni eqalisa ukuzikhokela, kufuneka.
Izizathu zokuba umntwana abethe umama noTata, okuninzi. Ityala ngalinye lingumntu ngamnye, kuba bonke abantu bahlukile kwaye bahlukile. Kodwa oogqirha bezengqondo basabela ezona zizathu ziphambili zokuziphatha komntwana ngokunxulumene nabazali.
Abantwana, njengabantu abadala, amava oluhlu lonke lweemvakalelo. Abakwazi, njengamarobhothi abane-robhothi, babonisa ulonwabo kuphela, bazole kwaye bathobele, njengoko abazali bemfuna. Abayazi i-Acceclolers abayazi indlela yokuhlalutya iimvakalelo zabo, bacinge ukuba yeyiphi imiphumo eya kubandakanya isenzo sabo. Iintsana kweli xesha ziliqela ngokuthe ngqo, zilawula kakubi, abanakho ukucinezela iimvakalelo ezinamandla kwaye bazigcine ngokwazo. Ukuba umntwana wasekhaya uziva emsindo okanye ecaphukisa, into yokuqala afuna ukuyenza kukubetha okanye ukuluma kwazo naboni. Kwaye akunandaba, usondele umntu okanye umntwana ongaqhelekanga kwindawo yokudlala.
Umntwana unokuchaza kungekuphela nje iimvakalelo ezimbi ngale ndlela, kodwa nelusizi, ixhala, isithukuthezi. Akazange afunde ukujamelana neemvakalelo zakhe kwaye akazi ukuba yintoni enokwenziwa kwimeko enjalo. Ukuba uthintela umntwana ukuba oyike iimvakalelo eziqokelelweyo, nokuba usebenzisa amandla omzimba, unokuphulukana nezikhokelo zobomi eziyimfuneko, kwaye umntwana akazukufunda ukuziqonda iimvakalelo zakhe.
Abazali akufuneki bakhathaze i-crm ukuba ibethe, iluma okanye iPinch. Mama noTata kufuneka ufundise unyana okanye intombi yakho ukuze ufundise indlela oziva ngayo ngoku. Joyina imvakalelo nganye: "Ngoku unomsindo, kuba andikuthenganga into yokudlala," "ulusizi, kuba kuyanetha esitratweni, kwaye asinakuhambahamba." Cebisa ukuba uphose ngaphandle kwenye, enye, indlela: Khwaza kakhulu, wabetha umqamelo, ubonakalisa imeko embi kwiphepha, njl.
Kwiminyaka engama-60 yenkulungwane edluleyo, iqela lezazinzulu laqhuba uvavanyo, uninzi lwaziwa njenge "Boll Doll". Iingcali zengqondo ziqokelele abantwana ngomgangatho ophakathi wokucaphuka kwaye wahlulwe waba ngamaqela amabini. Iqela lokuqala laphawula ukuba ihlekisa njani idoli: ukubetha, kuphose phantsi, uTrepali, ukuluma. Iqela lesibini logonyamelo lomzimba phezu kwedoli alibonanga. Abantwana abasuka kwiqela lokuqala babonisa ubundlobongela obukhulu xa babedluliselwa kwidoli. Bamtyhala entlokweni yakhe, babetha eludongeni, bade bazama ukuqhutywa.
Iingcali zengqondo ngenxa yoluvo zifikelela kwisigqibo sokuba abantwana babone ukuba banobundlobongela ikopi enjalo. Kodwa, ukuba uqala ukuqhawula umntu onomntwana obonisa ubundlongondlongo, umntwana uyakuqonda ukuba wenze ntoni.
Abazali kufuneka banikele ingqalelo xa bekhetha iikhathuni abajonga ngazo abantwana babo. Amagorha amabi afunyanwa ziinjongo zabo ngoncedo lwamandla omzimba, fundisa ubundlobongela abantwana. Ukuba i-kroch ijongeka ngathi i-cartoon isimilo sokugculela ngaphezulu kwamanye amagorha, mhlawumbi iya kuza ebomini. Umntwana uya kubetha umama notata kwaye akayiqondi nokuba enze into embi.
Ngelishwa, kwezinye iintsapho, ukusetyenziswa kwamandla omzimba kuthathwa njengento eqhelekileyo. Utata unokumbetha umama phakathi kwengxabano, umama uyala unyana weSandy. Kwangelo xesha, wonke umntu uthetha ngemibala ephakamileyo, unokusebenzisa isigama esibuhlungu. Eyona nto imangalisayo kukuba aba bantu xa bedibana nabo abamelwane babo, bancuma bemhle kwaye banqwenela usuku oluhle. Ngokwemvelo, abantwana abancinci kwintsapho enjalo baya kuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo ngoncedo lwezinto ezinqindi. Kungenxa yokuba ngokwahlukileyo kwintsapho yabo azazi ukuba inxibelelana njani.Eyona nto inokwenzeka, xa amalungu osapho emincinci ekhula, baya kubohlwaya abantwana babo. Ukuba uqhagamshelane noluhlu lwezengqondo kwixesha, imeko isenokulungiswa. Umbuzo kukuba abazali, njengomlawuli, bangayiboni ingxaki enkulu koku, kuba baqhele ukuphila ngoluhlobo.
Umntwana uyakhula, elazi umhlaba, kwaye kufuneka azame yonke into kwaye azi. Ngoncedo lokuziphatha ngobundlongondlongo, ufunda ukuqonda oko kulungileyo nokubi. Ukuba i-crumb kwibala lokudlala yabetha le ntombazana, kutheni engazange ivume kwaye umama xa efunga okanye into engavumelekanga ukwenza into?
Kule meko, oososazesi sengqondo bacebisa ukuba bathethe noDractman, bacacisa ukuba akavumi ukubetha nokuluma abanye abantu. Sukufumana izandla ezaneleyo zezandla, ukubetha okanye ukuphendula, faka kwikona. Kwindlela yokuziphatha, uvuselela ulwaphulo olukhulu olukhulu. Ukuvalwa okunzima ("Ndinqande umama okanye utata") kunokukhokelela kwinto yokuba umntwana uza kuqalisa ukohlwaya.
Ngokwesiqhelo, abantwana banesikhonkwane, bayikrazula iinwele zabo, babeka iityuwa, bade babetha iintloko zabo ngodonga. Akunakwenzeka ukuba unyanzele ukugcina iimvakalelo kunye nawe, ngenye indlela inokuchaphazela kakubi i-thyches ngokukhawuleza komntwana. Kodwa njani ukuba umntwana amoyikise oyena mbi, kwaye kwangaxeshanye adlulisela ukuba abazali abanakubetha? Abadlali abaguqulweyo baziva iimvakalelo ezintle ezihlangabezana noMama noTata. Umzekelo, ngoncedo lwee-mimp, uMama unokubonisa ukuba ayonwabanga kwaye icaphukile. Kuphela kufuneka kwenziwe ngokunyaniseka, ukuze iveze ngokwenene iimvakalelo zam, kwaye ungadlali indima.
Ukuba usapho lwamkelwa ngentlonelo kwaye ngentlonelo omnye komnye, kodwa umphathi omncinci uyaqhubeka nokubetha abazali, kuya kufuneka uhlalutye ukuba ngaba iphononongo lwabantu abadala lwanele. Umzekelo, lo mntwana ucela umama ukuba apeyinti okanye afunde, kwaye uthetha ngefowuni nomhlobo okanye ulungiselela isidlo sasemini. "Ungakhathazi, jonga ngcono kunekhathuni," "Awuboni ukuba ndixakekile?". I-KROCH ayifumani nxalenye iyimfuneko yabazali kwaye ilungele nasiphi na isenzo, ukuba nje umama noTata banikela ingqalelo kuye.
Yintoni ekufuneka uyenze abazali? Kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba abathengisi ababathengi abasweleyo kuphela kwiimfuno ezisisiseko apho abantu abadala abanokuthi banikezele (ukutya, ukuqubha, ukudibanisa, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, ukunxiba, nxiba, nxiba, nxiba, nxiba, nxiba, nxiba, nxiba, nxiba, nxiba, nxiba ulala). Sika kude neyakho, kunjalo, izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu kwaye uchithe ixesha kunye nomntwana. Ekugqibeleni, akukho nto ibaluleke ngaphezu konxibelelwano olunyanisekileyo nomntwana. Ungaza nabantu abaninzi abanomdla: Ukudibana, zoba, lungiselela i-Pop Post Post, cwangcisa umboniso wefashoni okanye udlale ivenkile yokulungisa. Eyona nto iphambili kukuba wenze nomntwana ngokunyaniseka, ngomnqweno, hayi ngenxa yokuba "kufuneka."
Ewe kunjalo, kubalulekile ukumamela ingcebiso yeengcali zengqondo, kodwa enyanisweni, abazali bajamelana nokungangqinelani phakathi kwethiyori kunye nokuziqhelanisa. Sonke singabantu abaphilayo, kwaye asilungelanga ukuba sikhuphe izinto abangazenzanga njengoko iingcali zicebisa. Kodwa kuya kufuneka uzame, sebenza, okokuqala, ngaphezulu kwakho, kwaye iziphumo aziyi kulinda ukulinda.
UMarina, Umama 3 oneminyaka emi-3 ubudala uYina:
"Kutshanje, unyana waqalisa ukundibetha. Kwaye akachukumisi upopu, indoda kuye igunya kuye. Ndikunye nam, yang iziphatha ngobukrwada, ukuba akayithandi into, ngokukhawuleza iqala ukubetha amanqindi okanye ukuluma. Ndiyavuma, ndandingazithinteli izihlandlo ezininzi kwaye ndaphendula kwindawo ethambileyo. Sichasene nesohlwayo somzimba, kodwa inkqubo yam ye-nervayint ayiyonto. Ndiyaqonda ukuba umntwana uziva ekhululekile kwaye ngokwemvelo ukuba kwiminyaka emithathu isayazi indlela yokuthintela iimvakalelo. Ndizama ukuzigcina entliziyweni yam, ndiyathetha, njengoko kundikhathaza kwaye ndithuka ukuba yang ndibethe. Indoda inentetho nonyana wakhe, ithi umama akakhubeki, ndime. Ndiyathemba ukuba kungekudala eli thuba liza kudlula, kwaye uNyana uya kuyiqonda indlela ezinye iindlela ezinokubonakaliswa ngayo ziimvakalelo zabo. "
UCatherine, Umama oneminyaka emi-4 ubudala:
"Ndinentombi entle, entle, kodwa kumaxesha akutshanje kwenzeka into emangalisayo kuye. Ukuba kukho into eyenziweyo njengoko ifuna, uArina uqalisa ukundibetha. Kwaye ayikho kwifom yomdlalo, kodwa ivela kuwo wonke amandla. Kutshanje ndiye kwenzekile ityala. Ngorhatya lwalungafuni ukulala. Kwakusemva kwexesha kakhulu, kufuneka sivuke ekuseni. U-Arina walungiselela isibetho, emva koko wakhokela itafile ukuze ibukele ikhathuni. Ukukhupha uloliwe, waqala ukwakha indlu kumyili. Sizame ukweyisela ngabo bonke amandla ukuba balale ebhedini. Ndicebise iincwadi zokufunda, thetha, ucule isivuno. Kodwa uArina wayeqhubeka nokudlala, kwaye yayisele inobusuku obunzulu. Indoda ayikwazanga kuma, ihlanganisene zonke iithoyi, yathabatha intombi ebhedini yaza yathi kufuneka ulale. Ndilinde uArina ukuba ahlawule, kodwa weza wambeka utata ekuqaleni emva koko. Safunda noncwadi oluninzi ekukhuliseni abantwana, malunga nokwazi indlela yokuziphatha kwiimeko ezinjalo. Kodwa ngaloo busuku obunganqande, kuba babediniwe kwaye bacaphuka. Umyeni wam wakhwaza intombi yakhe, ndavalela igumbi lokuhlambela. Ke, kunjalo, nonke bezolile kwaye baxoxa ngale meko. Kodwa uAriyo uyaqhubeka nokulwa ukuba kukho into engahambanga yimeko yakhe. Sicinga ukuguqukela kwi-pschologist yengqondo yabantwana, ukuze ingaqhubeki ingxaki. " Akusoloko kubonakalaliswa kobushushu obuvela emntwaneni luphawu lokuphazamiseka kwengqondo kunye nokuphambuka. Rhoqo, ukusetyenziswa kwemikhosi yomzimba kubazali kuthathwa njengoluhlu oluqhelekileyo. Kuya kufuneka uthethe ngakumbi nomdala, ukumnika ixesha, funda ukuphatha iimvakalelo zam. Kwimeko apho umntwana eqhubeka ebangela ngabom ukubangela iintlungu zomzimba kubazali, ngaphandle kwawo onke amanyathelo athathiweyo, kuyacetyiswa ukubhekisa kugqirha wezengqondo yabantwana. Ingcali iya kufumanisa ukubangela indlela yokuziphatha engalunganga kwaye kuya kunceda ukuhlengahlengisa indlela yokuziphatha komsebenzi we-prensioler.