Sixelela apho iingxabano phakathi kwabazalwana noodade bavela (kwaye bazigcina njani phantsi kolawulo)
Kubonakala ngathi ubutshaba phakathi kwabazalwana noodade bahlala bekhona, ngaphandle kweliphi ixesha okanye leliphi ilizwe elikhula ngayo. Umama wabantwana ababini kunye nentatheli iNew York Time Times umhlaba ugqibe kwelokuba kutheni uSibeli uya konwabela, kwaye ukunciphisa njani iimfazwe ezinegazi kwiintsapho ezingaphezulu komntwana omnye. Iguqulelwe inqaku lakhe kunye namanqaku amancinci.
Ngexesha lobhubhane, umntwana wam oneminyaka emine ubudala oneminyaka emine ubudala wawusithela ndawonye: Ndeva izihlandlo ezimbalwa ngokuhlwa, ndiphuma egumbini labo. Kodwa kokukhona ixesha elininzi lamantombazana am kunye, kokukhona baxabana.
Uninzi lwazo, abantwana bam baxambulisana ngesiseko sokungabikho kokusesikweni okanye kumzabalazo wendawo emgceni.
Eyona nto ingekho ngqiqweni kubutsha nje koko kwenzekile, xa sifika ekugomeni logonyo. Amantombazana achithwa ngenxa yeyam iya kugonywa. Intombi yam endala "yaphumelela" kwimbambano, kodwa ngelixa eya kwiofisi yokuqeqesha, waqonda ukuba ugonyo lwalunomvuzo onyanisekileyo.
Ngezo ntsuku, xa sonke sivaliwe kunye ekhaya, kwaye izikrelemnqa ziya kukhula zibe yidrama yokwenene, kwaye siqala ukukhathazeka ngabo, kuba siye savuma ngokupheleleyo inani le-discord . Kodwa, ukuba uyakholelwa uJanin Vivon, unjingalwazi we-Psychology kwiDyunivesithi yaseNew Jersey, owayefunda intiyo phakathi kwabazalwana noodade, emva koko "ukukhuphisana phakathi kwenyani ekhoyo. Kwaye thina, njengabazali baseSibligov nabazali babantwana, sinokuzama nje ukujamelana nale nto inokwenzeka. "
Izifundo zibonakalise ukuba iimbambano phakathi kwabantakwenu zinokwenzeka amaxesha asibhozo ngeyure (i-Ed. Ed. I-Aaaaaa!). Olunye uphononongo lubonise ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi koodade besona sisondeleyo, kodwa izibini ezibandakanya abazalwana, zingqubana kakhulu.
Inani leengxabano lincitshisiwe libe lithuba le-pubsertal, zibonakala zilungile. Abantwana bokuqala nabaphakathi kwelona xesha linzima kwisicwangciso sokuziphatha.
UMark I-Itan Finberg, uNjingalwazi weDyunivesithi yasePennsylvania, umphandi kwicandelo lezempilo zabantu kunye nophuhliso
Kwisifundo, umbhali ongumbhali weyona nto ilungileyo, ekhankanywe yincwadi yeGenesis, equka "amabali asisiseko kwinkcubeko yeNtshona." Zininzi iiplani malunga nabantakwabo negazi nabamona- umzekelo, malunga ne-Kain kunye ne-Avele okanye ngoYakobi noSaen. Kwaye onke la mabali atyhila "imixholo yabaphandi abayifundayo ngoku: Izenzo zemfundo, umzabalazo wothando lwabazali kunye nezixhobo, ukuzoba abantwana kwiingxabano zabazali."
Ukujamelana phakathi kontakwayo kudala kangangeminyaka eliwaka idlulileyo, xa ukusweleka komntwana kuye kwaphakama kakhulu, abantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka emihlanu ababenabantakwabo okanye oodade abasenyongweni basweleke. Ezi zinto zokufa zazinxulunyaniswa 'nenani lezifo ezosulelayo zabantwana kwiintsapho, kwaye, kunye nomzabalazo ngokubanzi, "njengoko i-Sara Walters ithi, uNjingalwazi weMibutho kaMusa ovela kwi Isikolo saseLondon sococeko kunye nonyango lweTropical. Ukwazi, ndaqala ngokujonga ngokungafaniyo nengxabano yabantwana bam ngenxa ye-ice cream.
Kwaye nangona ngoku uninzi lweenyoka azilwi zavuthuluka, ezivela kwimbono yengqondo, ezi ngxabano zenza injongo ethile: Banceda abantwana ukuba bafundiswe kwaye bahlukaniswe, ngamanye amagama oku kubizwa ngokuba "ngumahluko" . Abantwana bafuna ukuba abazali babo banikele ingqalelo ekhethekileyo kubo, ngoko, ngokweendawo eziyi-vivs, baya kuhlala belwela isimo sengqondo esikhethekileyo kubo ", xa kuthelekiswa nabazalwana noodade. Kodwa ngaphandle kwale nto, umdla wabo kunye nabalinganiswa unokusekwa kwizakhono kunye neminqweno yeSibengov yazo.
Umzekelo, cinga ukuba unyana wakho olide uyinkanyezi yebhola. Umntwana omncinci okanye abantwana banokuphepha ibhola okanye kuba boyika ukuba abayi kulunga umntakwabo, okanye ngenxa yokuba boyika ukuba babeka emngciphekweni. Okanye mhlawumbi bobabini baya kuba kwiqela lebhola, kodwa abalizi kakhulu - ngenxa yokuba esebenza ngenzondelelo, kwaye emncinci ngokuzola, kuba uya kuzifumana ngokwayo imeko yehlanya.
Ngaphandle kwento yokuba iimbambano phakathi kweBibeli zilindelwe kakhulu, oku akuthethi ukuba awunakubaphembelela. Nazi izindululo ezintlanu ezivela kwiingcali zendlela yokujongana nabantwana abathengelweyo.
Jonga ukuba yintoni ebangela ungquzulwano."Nika ingqalelo yoko kwenzeka rhoqo ngaphambi kokuba ungquzulwano luya kukhula lukhule.
Umzekelo, ukuba abantwana bakho baxabana ngalo lonke ixesha, xa bedlala imidlalo yevidiyo, babe kufutshane xa behlala phantsi ukuze badlale. Mamela amagama kunye nenzwane ethile ukufumanisa ukuba le nto ivakalayo kwaye izame ukungenelela ngaphambi kokuba imeko iphelelwe.
Bancede bafunde ukusombulula ingxabano.Emva kokuba wonke umntu ethobekile, zama ukuthoba abantwana bakho kwaye axoxe ngengxaki "ngaphandle kweendleko kunye nokugwetywa," ICouderg icebisa. Nika umntwana ngamnye ithuba lokuthetha, ngaphandle kokuphazamisa, kwaye ameme ngamnye wabo ukuba acinge ngengxaki yokusombulula ingxaki.
Sele kubudala bezikolo ezincinci, abantwana bayakwazi 'ukukuxabisa ukuba zeziphi izigqibo kuye wonke umntu, kwaye okunokwenzeka ngakumbi kuya kusebenza kwaye kuvuyisa ikamva. " Kukwabalulekile ukubafundisa ukuba babuyele kwiingxaki xa ezinye izigqibo ziyayeka ukusebenza.
Badumise, kodwa bagxeka yedwa.Ukuba abantwana bakho babonisa ububele, badumise, besithi, Umzekelo: "Ndiyathanda ukuba udadewethu ukuba ahambe kuqala!" Kodwa ukuba uyawagculela, zama ukuyenza ukuze omnye umntwana angakuva, kuba kungenjalo angayisebenzisa njengesixhobo.
Intombazana yethu enkulu iyonwabela eli thuba lokuvula udade wabo omncinci ("khumbula, umama wathi awukwazi ukutsiba kwisofa!") Ke ndaye ndamkela le cebiso ngeakhawunti yam.
Zama ukufumana amaxesha amanye amazwe.Ubushushu kunye nabalinganiswa babantwana bakho banokufana, kwaye basenokungabikho. Bobabini banokuthanda ukudanisa, kwaye mhlawumbi umntu uthanda ukudanisa, kwaye enye ifuna nje ukudlala chess. Umntu unokuyigcina, kwaye enye, ngokuchaseneyo, ukuthanda inkululeko. "Zama ukufumana iiklasi ngokubanzi ezivumela wonke umntu ukuba abonise ukuba bhetyebhetye, kwaye kwangaxeshanye kugcina unxibelelwano kunye," uJanin Vivon uyacebisa.
Ndizise umzekelo wokuhlwa kwiindlela zosapho ngokubukela imovie njengenye yezi klasi, kodwa ndaphawula ukuba ngokufuthi siphuma ngexesha lokuthatha isigqibo sokuba yeyiphi imovie esijonge kuyo, kuba wonke umntu uhlala ephikisana.
Inyani yokuba kuthatha ixesha elininzi ayiphazamisi into yokuba yinto exabisekileyo, "utshilo uWivdon. -Uza kudibana neengxabano, oku akuphephekanga.
Ngenxa yoko, sonke sacula kunye, sinxibelelane, sitya ipopcorn, kwaye abantwana bethu bafumana izakhono ezixabisekileyo, nokuba singamandla okufumana "ibali lebali" kwixesha elinesihlanu lexesha.
Ibhunga elikhethekileyo lelixesha lebhulukhwe."Sonke sichitha ixesha elininzi ekhaya, ngakumbi ebusika," utshilo umzingeli. "Ndicinga ukuba ezinye zezi ngxoxo zinengqiqo yokusombulula, zibonelela abantwana ukuba bahambe okanye bajikeleze indlu."
Abantwana banoloyiko xa bekwisithuba esivaliweyo, ngoko ke umsebenzi wokwenza umzimba - nokuba yibar yekhaya enziwe ngemingxuma, "uya kunceda ekwenzeni imeko.
Isafundwa ngesihloko
Ibinzana elithi "umntwana wakowenu alibonisa abantwana babanye abazali - abazalwana noodade