"Bunny, mphaka? Palibe zoo! " Angelica Muraokha ndi Momwe Mungasinthire UMENE WOSAVUTA Ukwati

Kodi zovuta zimatani?

Choyamba muyenera kufotokoza malingaliro a vuto. Mu psychology, vutoli ndi mkhalidwe mu awiri, pamene kufananako kumasokonezeka. Izi zimabweretsa mawonekedwe amkati ndi kunja osakhutira. Mwachilengedwe, zimawonetsedwa ndi chikhalidwe, malingaliro, malingaliro. Koma ine, monga zamaphunziro a katswiri wazamankhwala, yemwe amagwira ntchito ndi mabanja, ndikukulangizani kuti mudalire tanthauzo lina kuti vutoli limadziwika kuti ndi loyenererana ndi machenjerero ndi malingaliro akale a mnzake, zokumana nazo. Kumvetsetsa kumeneku ndikosangalatsa!

Ngati timalankhula za banja, ndibwino kukumbukira mawu a Leo Tolstoy kuti "mabanja onse osangalala ali ofanana, anzathu alionse ali ndi moyo wosasangalala m'njira yake." Pali magulu ambiri a nkhawa mu maubale.

Kodi kusintha kwa nthawi iliyonse ya moyo kumatanthauza chiyani?

Pali psychologist waku America ndi psychotherapist virgir Satori. Imafotokozanso zovuta zomwe zikuchitika mu awiri. Ndiye kuti, maubale amasintha osati kochepa, koma ndi magawo omwe akupitilira mu moyo wa banja.

Makamaka vutoli limamveka ndi kubwera kwa mwana woyamba kwa okwatirana. Imakhala ndi udindo ndi kusowa kwa luso, ndipo kufunika kosiya moyo wokhazikitsidwa pamene zonse zimasinthidwa ndi zosowa za mwana. Panthawi yonseyi, mayi akadzipereka kuti akhale ndi amayi, bambo akupita kudera. Iye alibe mphamvu zokwanira, nthawi, chikhumbo. Izi ndizabwinobwino.

Koma apa adayamba ma crlis zonena. "Simundithandiza!" - "Ndipo ndimalandira ndalama!" Palibe amene akufuna kumvetsetsana. Kenako ichi ndi chigololo chokulira, nthawi yaunyamata. Ndipo, pamapeto, chisa chopanda kanthu, makolo akamva kusafunikira.

Pali maulamuliro ndi mphindi zonyansa. Zonse zomwe ndidalemba pamwambapa, kuchuluka kwa mabanja okwatirana. Kufikira kapena pamlingo uliwonse, aliyense amakumana ndi zovuta munthawi ya moyo. Ndipo pali nthawi zina - matendawa, imfa ya m'modzi mwa okwatirana, Wweyo, chisudzulo.

Kuphatikiza apo, palibe amene wasokoneza ngozi za zaka 10, 20, zaka 30 zaukwati. Ndipo apa ndikulangizani maanja kuti asamatsatire tanthauzo la zovuta za kagulu kake, ndipo talingalirani zifukwa zake ndi zifukwa zokhala ndi payekha.

Kodi malingaliro a okwatirana amakhudza ubale wa abwenzi omwe amakwatirana nawo? Ena amatha kukwatiwa ali aang'ono kwambiri, pomwe ena, mwachitsanzo, atatha zaka 40, anapulumuka chisudzulo.

Zilibe kanthu kuti ndi zaka zingati anthu omwe amabwera mu maubale. Ukwati ndi, woyamba wa, kusankha. Ndipo pakakhala vuto komanso kusamvana m'banjamo, ndikofunikira kuzindikira chifukwa chomwe chimapangitsa kuti pakhale paubwenzi, womwe ndi m'badwo wopanda tsankho. Mutha kukhalabe owongola ukalamba! Ngati timalankhula za zaka zonsezi, zimakhudza kuchuluka kwa zaka limodzi.

Angelica Muraor Kodi pali chilichonse chokhudza zolambirira m'zaka zosiyanasiyana?

Inde kumene! Ngati timalankhula za zovuta za paubwenzi - izi ndikusowa, moyo komanso wokayikira kupirira ndi mabungwe omwe aliyense mwa okwatirana sagwiritsidwa ntchito. Mwachitsanzo, m'banja la mkazi wake, ntchito zimaperekedwa kwa onse am'banja, ndipo azimayi anali akuchita nawo mwamuna wake.

Kumayambiriro kwa banja la banja, mawu akuti "ife". "Tinapita kumakanema", "tidagula", "tidachita" ndi zina zambiri. Koma sindikulangizani kuti mutero. Ndiwe gulu, banja lochezeka, koma nonse ndinu aumunthu. Kupaka kumabweretsa mitengo yazinthu zokonda, kenako kuphwanya konse ndi mmodzi wa omwe ali ndi anzawo. Iyi ndi njira imodzi kapena ina imabweretsa zonena zawo. "Ndandipatsa zaka zabwino!", "Nditha kukhala ntchito yabwino kwambiri!" - Uku ndi uku ndi uku ndikudziwa kuti ukukwaniritsidwa kumatsanziridwa ndi vuto lililonse. Palibe amene akufuna kudziimba mlandu, koma amamuneneza winayo.

Ngati timalankhula za moyo wautali limodzi, ndiye zomwe zimayambitsa kusamvana ndi zovuta zitha kuchitika kwa a Libido, kusintha kwa maudindo (anali amayi, kukhala agogo).

Kodi mungapewe bwanji mavuto?

Poyamba, ndikofunikanso kuteteza malire. "Zolondola - ndikuganiza kuti", "adzasintha" zonse izi sizingachitike. N 'chifukwa Chiyani Tiyenera Kumanga Malire Aokha? Ndikofunikira poyamba kwa inu nokha kuti zisapweteke. Ndikofunikira kwa mnzake. Mukamamanga malire anu, mulibe ufulu wophwanya, kuwongolera zochita zake, koma mutha kuwongolera.

Chitsanzo chosavuta. "Ndikudziwa kuti sindingathe kuwongolera munthu winayo mwaulemu mawu amwano. Koma nditha kukhazikitsa malirewo ndikunena kuti sindidzaloleza izi. " Mukangonena izi, mnzanuyo amayambukira momwe angapangire kuyanjana ndi inu, ndipo kwa iye sadzadabwitsidwa ngati muli muukwati zaka zisanu zomwe mwakhumudwitsidwa ndi izi kapena zinthu zina.

Kodi zingatheke bwanji kuti azisokoneza malire a mnzake? Mwachitsanzo, pansi pa chisamaliro: "Simuyenera kuvala kavalidwe kameneka! Nditafupikitsa kwambiri, mutha kugwira chimfine. "

Onetsetsani kuti si zokonda wamba, koma zolinga zofala. Mabanja ambiri amatsutsana zaka zoyambirira za kukhala limodzi, chifukwa samawona zolinga zofala zambiri, kukhazikitsa mapulani. Ndipo, zoona, zonsezi zimakhudza kuchepetsedwa kwa libido. Ndani adzafune kugonana ndi munthu yemwe samakumvetsetsa!

Pexels / Jessica Tikoznthe ndi chiyani za chikondi kwa wina ndi mnzake? Pamene chidwi chonse cha mnzake? "Bunny, ndiye kuti suny, mtanda"? Kodi imatha kuyimitsa lawi la kukondera?

Izi ndi zosankha zonse za zoo "bunny, mphaka, lapushka". Chifukwa chake makolo amatcha ana awo. Ndipo izi sizingachitike pabido. Chilankhulo cha akatswiri ndikuponya mawu achinyengo! M'zaka zoyambirira, kulibe mavuto ndi mavuto omwe ali ndi libido. Pali mavuto oyankhulirana. Sitikugwiritsidwa ntchito polankhula zokhudzana ndi kugonana, zokhumba zathu, timachititsa manyazi kukambirana za kugonana, kudziwa zatsopano. Munthawi imeneyi, ndikofunikira kuphunzira matenda a sextine, ndiye kuti kuphatikiza kuwerengera kotentha munthawi yoyambira. Zimachitika.

Koma chiwonongeko chatha sichingalephereke. Kondani mnzanu watsopano ndiosavuta: Zakuthupi ndi malingaliro zikugwira ntchito. Ena saganiza momwe mungafune ndi kumukonda mnzake wazaka zisanu, khumi. Zikhala kunja, ndizotheka. Ndikofunikira kumasula, kukulitsa malire a momwe zingathekere. Mapulogalamu amagwira ntchito bwino pano. "Mukufuna chiyani?", "Kodi nchiyani chimakusangalatsani?", "Kodi mukufuna kuyesa chiyani?" etc.

Ngati mukuzengereza kufunsa mwachindunji, yesani kutsatira makanema kapena mabuku. Kapenanso pezani zomwe womvera mnzanuyo, adauza nkhaniyi, akuti amachita chibwenzi ndi bwenzi lanu. "Tangoganizirani, ndipo bwenzi lagula chigamba cha mphaka! Ndipo amunawo adaseka, owopsa! " Ndipo penyani zomwe anachita.

Kodi pali zinthu zina zakuthupi zomwe zimakhudza moyo wogonana wa abwenzi?

Kugonana kwa anthu kumabwera mpaka zaka 30, ndipo kugonana kwa akazi kumawululidwa patatha zaka 30. Nthawi kuyambira 37 mpaka 45 zaka zili zowala kwambiri. Ndi za chiwerengerochi chomwe azimayi ambiri amasintha. Koma ndiye kuti azimayi amadziimba mlandu, amatembenuza "bunny, mphaka" mwana wamkulu. Koma ndi munthawi imeneyi kuti ndikofunikira kulimbikitsa, kutumiza, perekani kumverera.

Nanga bwanji ife? Okwatirana wina ndi mnzake amakhala anthu oyandikira. Koma kokha mu dongosolo la uzimu. Palibe chokopa, ngakhale kulibe mavuto ndi libido. Koma simuli abale!

Chifukwa chake, muyenera kuwonjezera zokhumba ndi kudekha pachibwenzi. Ndikukulangizani kuti muzigwira nthawi zambiri momwe mungathere. Penyani limodzi ma Albums okhala ndi zithunzi, kupanga mtengo wabanja ndikubwera ndi miyambo wamba. Mwachitsanzo, chakudya chamadzulo limodzi. Pezani zosangalatsa zambiri, pezani maholide, ndizofunikira kwa inu. Yendani patsiku.

Mkazi amatha "kutseka" mu kugonana. Izi zithandiza zoseweretsa zonse zogonana. Thupi lachikazi limayamikiridwa kwambiri! Kwa amuna - pakamwa, zamalonda.

Pakadali m'badwo uno, abwenzi akhoza kumvetsera wina ndi mnzake, avomereze kusintha, kusintha. Chifukwa chake, ndizosavuta kubwezera chidwi. Ndikokwanira kuchita zomwe sizinali kudziwika zaka zaukwati.