Blogger, kws sau ntawv thiab sau ntawv ntawm "zoo nkauj ntawm pofigism" Mark Merson pom qhov kev pab rau qhov zoo tagnrho rau qhov zoo tagnrho.
Kev txhais lus ntawm "ideonization" ib tsab.
Kuv muaj ib tus phooj ywg uas tau hais khov uas tau tshaj tawm tias nws yog tus ua yeeb yam. Nws txaus siab rau nws. Yog tias muaj qee yam nyob hauv nws ib puag ncig tam sim ntawd zoo li "tsis ncaj ncees lawm", nws yuav luag kho kom kho tau nws. Nws ua rau muaj cov qauv zoo hais txog dab tsi uas nws txiav txim siab tau txais rau lwm tus thiab rau nws tus kheej tshwj xeeb. Ua tsaug rau qhov no, nws ua tiav kev vam meej. Tab sis vim yog qhov no, nws ntsib cov teeb meem.
Nws paub tias kev ua phem ntawm nws tus kheej, tab sis, raws li nws, yog vim nws xav ua tau zoo dua. Thiab thaum nws ua siab phem nrog lwm tus, nws hais tias nws yog dab tsi los ntawm kev hlub. Nws xav kom cov neeg uas tsis muaj hwj chim rau nws, tau muaj kev vam meej hauv lub neej.
Tab sis nyob rau hauv tag nrho cov snag: rau ib tus neeg uas tham conchas
Nws tab tom ua haujlwm ntawm cov phiaj xwm rau lub hlis, yam tsis tau qhia lawv rau ib tus neeg, vim tias lawv tseem yog "tsis tau ua tiav", uas yog qhov tsis txaus ntseeg. Yog li ntawd, nws tsis kam yuav luag los ntawm lawv txhua tus, txij li ib tug taw tes nws pom tias ib lossis lwm txoj haujlwm yuav tsis muaj ib yam li nws mob hlwb.
Nws cem nws tus kheej rau lub lim tiam, lub hlis thiab txawm tau rau xyoo lossis rau qhov tseeb tias nws tsis tau coj mus rau qhov "kev tsis muaj kev ywj pheej". Lub xyoo ntawm nws lub neej dhau mus nyob rau hauv ib qho kev ntws tas mus li, npaj thiab kev loj hlob, tab sis tsis muaj ib qho txiaj ntsig.
Qhov no yog qhov zoo tshaj plaws tau coj.
Paradox perfectionism perfectionism
Nkag siab kom raug, Kuv tsis yaum kom koj "txo qhov cub." Qhov tseeb, Kuv xav tias Perfectionism muaj nws qhov chaw hauv ob qho kev tshaj lij thiab tus kheej lub neej (ntau ntxiv txog qhov no tom qab).Tab sis nws lom zem uas perfectionists ib txwm ntshai cov neeg uas qhia lawv qhov kev coj ua tsis zoo. Qhov no yog tsuas yog vim lawv xav txog txhua tus lwm tus muaj nqis dab tsi, thiab yog tias muaj, vim li cas thiaj li ua raws lawv cov lus qhia? Nov yog ib qho kev cuam tshuam ntawm lawv tus qauv transcendental: tsis muaj leej twg tsim nyog mloog nws. Yog li, tus perfectionist yog kev sib cav ib leeg.
Thaum kuv tus phooj ywg zoo rau nws tau mus rau qhov kev txiav txim siab tam sim no, tab sis nws tsis ua haujlwm txhua yam vim li cas "mus rau qhov xwm txheej zoo li no tsis tuaj yeem lees paub Cov. Yog li dhau rau lub hlis. Thiab tsis muaj dab tsi ua tiav.
Tus tsim ntawm Amazon Jeff Bezos tau sau hauv ib tsab ntawv mus rau cov neeg txiav txim siab, hauv nws txoj kev xav, kev pom kev zoo siab tau lees txais thaum ib tus neeg muaj 70% ntawm cov ntaub ntawv tsim nyog. Raws li nws, yog tias nws tsawg dua 70%, tom qab ntawd koj yuav siv sijhawm tsis raug. Tab sis yog tias nws yog ntau dua 70%, koj feem ntau yuav siv sijhawm nyob rau qee yam uas nws tsis zoo li los hloov qhov txiaj ntsig.
"Txoj cai 70%" ntawm lub caij nyoog siv rau ntau yam. Qee lub sij hawm nws yog qhov zoo dua los tso tawm txoj haujlwm thaum nws npaj tau los ntawm 70%. Hauv kev sau cov kev ua ub no, Kuv nkoj cov ntawv sau phau ntawv thaum nws yog 70% ua raws li qhov kuv xav hais.
Cov kab hauv qab yog tias koj tuaj yeem sau ua ntej 30% tom qab. Tab sis 100% tuaj yeem tsuas yog tsis tos.
Yoog thiab lom perfectionism
Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb kom nkag siab tias tsis yog txhua tus perfectionists zoo ib yam.
Tsis muaj ib yam txhaum nrog kev teeb tsa cov qauv siab thiab cov hom phiaj siab. Koj yuav tsum tau ua haujlwm ntau, koj yuav tsum siv zog rau qhov koj xav ua tiav hauv koj lub neej.
Tab sis muaj qhov sib txawv ntawm kev yoog raws li kev pom zoo - qhov kev xav tau lees paub tias qhov zoo tshaj plaws yog unattainable paub zoo - thiab lom - lub siab xav nqa ib yam me me.
Yog li cov lus pom zoo yog ob peb ntau yam.
Perfectionism Preeted
Qee tus neeg zoo pervectionis ua rau lawv (qhov tsis zoo) cov qauv siab.Yuav tsis muaj dab tsi tsis ncaj ncees lawm nrog hais tias yog lawv paub yuav ua li cas rov tsim dua lawv tus cwj pwm, thaum tsis tau mus rau txoj kev npaj, tab sis nws yuav tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tsis thoob - lawv tsis xav tau. Lawv boil li vesuvius nyob rau hauv tshav kub. Lawv tsis tuaj yeem tshem tawm cov kev tsis txaus ntseeg ua yuam kev, qee zaus tau xyoo lossis ntau xyoo tom qab lawv ua. Lawv thuam lawv tus kheej yuav luag txhua yam uas lawv ua.
Peb yuav hu rau lawv "perfectionists hais rau lawv tus kheej."
Perfectionism ntsib lwm tus
Lwm cov neeg ua tiav zoo rau lwm tus neeg. Thiab nws kuj yuav tsis ua phem yog tias lawv tau siv lawv cov qauv siab los txhawb cov neeg kom ua tej yam zoo dua, thiab "zoo dua" yuav txaus.
Tab sis dua, nws tsis yog. Lawv yuam cov tsis ntseeg tau zoo kawg, tsis muaj peev xwm uas tsis muaj leej twg muaj peev xwm ua tau.
Saib xyuas koj tus thawj coj ua txhaum los ntawm micromimage thiab los ntawm uas koj tau pom tias yog koj tus txiv leej tub, lossis hais txog koj cov txiv leej tub uas xav qhia nws txog koj txoj kev sib deev kom nws Yuav "Nco ntsoov tias koj tuaj yeem ntseeg koj" (nyeem: "Kuv yuav tsum paub yog tias koj ntsib kuv tus cwj pwm zoo nkauj").
Peb yuav hu rau lawv "perfectioners hais rau lwm tus."
Perfectionism Facing Society
Thiab muaj cov ntsiab lus zoo tshaj uas ntseeg tias lwm tus neeg yaum lawv cov qauv zoo kawg.Cov neeg no feem ntau nyob hauv kev ntxhov siab. Lawv tsis tuaj yeem txiav txim siab yuav ua li cas nrog lawv lub neej, vim tias lawv tsis paub yuav ua li cas lawv thiaj li tsis txaus siab rau lwm tus tsis raug. Lawv hnov kev rau txim nyob hauv lawv lub taub hau, tab sis tsis yog los ntawm cov neeg uas tau liam tias lawv tsis muaj pov thawj rau cov kev cia siab rau lawv.
Cov neeg no feem ntau sib cav nrog lawv qhov kev tsis paub pab. Vim li cas kev paub dhau los, yog tias nws tseem tsis yooj yim sua kom ua tiav kev lees paub? Peb yuav hu rau lawv "perfectionisists hais rau zej zog."
Kev zoo siab hauv ntiaj teb tsis zoo
Tau kawg, peb hom kev sib tshuam zoo tshaj plaws. Plectionionist ntsib nws tus kheej feem ntau ua adheres rau cov txheej txheem siab rau nws tus kheej thiab in relation rau lwm tus. Cov tswv yim zoo nkauj hais rau lwm tus yuav sim ua lawv cov kev sib raug zoo rau lub ntiaj teb thoob ntiaj teb. Ib txoj kev los sis lwm qhov, Terry perforations feem ntau muaj ib tus cwj pwm style ntawm tus cwj pwm uas lawv feem ntau yog lub sijhawm.
Txhua ntawm cov hom zoo tshaj plaws yog qhov zais qhov uas cuam tshuam rau kev xav ntawm cov hom phiaj ntawm lawv tus kheej lossis lwm tus.
- Perfectionists hais rau lawv tus kheej yuam lawv tus kheej cov hom phiaj rau lawv tus kheej.
- Cov tswv yim zoo nkauj ntsib lwm tus neeg yaum lawv cov hom phiaj rau tib neeg thiab lub ntiaj teb ib puag ncig.
- Perfectionists hais rau lub zej zog yaum lawv tus kheej yog dab tsi, hauv lawv lub tswv yim, yog suav tias yog "zoo tagnrho" hauv zej zog.
Qhov teeb meem tshwm sim thaum pom tau "zoo tagnrho" thiab qhov tseeb yog tsis sib xws.
Kuv rov ua dua ib zaug ntxiv: tsis muaj ib yam tsis zoo hauv cov qauv siab.
Tab sis nyob rau hauv imposing cov txheej txheem siab no rau koj tus kheej lossis lwm yam tsis muaj kev poob siab thiab noj qab haus huv skepticism rau koj tus kheej chusi, txhua yam tsis zoo. Perfectionists ntawm txhua tus Maje yog nquag ua rau dub thiab dawb kev xav "tag nrho los yog tsis muaj dab tsi": koj txawm tias ua tiav, lossis ua tiav. Txawm yog yeej, lossis ploj, tau ua qee yam lossis txoj cai lossis tsis yog.
Lub neej tiag tiag tshwm sim hauv thaj chaw grey ntawm dub thiab dawb. Qhov irony nyob hauv qhov tseeb tias feem ntau ntawm cov perfectionists feem ntau tsuas xav tau lub ntiaj teb (lawv lawv tus kheej, tib neeg nyob rau hauv nws, tab sis lawv tsis muaj peev xwm to taub nws yog dab tsi tiag tiag.
Mus rau dabteb koj cov zoo tshaj plaws
Tej zaum yog txoj kev yooj yim tshaj plaws los daws cov perfectionism hais rau lwm tus. Cov ntsiab lus zoo tshaj plaws uas tsawg ntseeg tias lawv tau tswj tsim nyog rau lawv tus kheej thiab lawv ib puag ncig ze, thiab, ntseeg tias lawv tuaj yeem hloov lawv tus kheej thiab / lossis lawv ib puag ncig.Kev coj mus rau hauv tus account, Kuv xav koj kuv txoj kev xav txog yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ob hom no zoo tag nrho.
Yuav ua li cas kom tiv nrog cov perfectionism hais
Koj yuav tsum tau kawm kho koj tus kheej kom yooj yim dua. Kuv paub tias kwv yees li yim lab tus tib neeg tau hais rau koj qhov no, tab sis mloog kuv mus txog thaum kawg.
Tsis zoo li cov neeg ua kom muaj neeg ua piv rau lwm tus, koj yuav xav txog cov neeg uas txhawb nqa thiab txhawb lawv cov phooj ywg thiab tsev neeg. Thaum lawv yuam kev los yog ua ib yam ruam, koj tsis pom lawv rau nws thiab tsis qhia lawv ruam.
Koj qhia txoj kev khuv leej. Koj nkag siab tias tib neeg ua yuam kev uas lawv muaj lub hom phiaj zoo tshaj uas muaj ntau txoj kev kub siab thiab hmoov zoo hauv lub neej, thiab tsis muaj leej twg ntawm peb tuaj yeem hloov qhov no. Nws pab lawv zoo dua. Nws instills hauv lawv kev ntseeg siab thiab kev nkag siab ntawm kev ruaj ntseg. Lawv pom tias lawv muaj koj txoj kev txhawb nqa thiab txhua yam yuav zoo, txawm tias lawv tsis zoo tag nrho.
Rau koj tej zaum nws yuav ua rau muaj kev xav tsis thoob, tab sis koj tuaj yeem ua txhua yam zoo ib yam rau koj tus kheej.
Sim. Kho koj tus kheej ua phooj ywg. Xav tias qhov yuam kev tias Corps koj yog qhov yuam kev ntawm cov phooj ywg lossis tsev neeg ze. Koj yuav hais dab tsi rau lawv? Koj yuav xav li cas rau lawv? Thiab tam sim no ua tib yam nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo rau koj tus kheej.
Yuav ua li cas kom tiv nrog Perfectionism hais rau lwm tus
Peb yuav tsum lees paub tias koj cov qauv tsis tau tsis tso cai rau koj kom paub txhua qhov sib thooj thiab kev hlub uas tuaj yeem muaj kev sib raug zoo.Lees tias koj tseem nyob deb ntawm zoo meej. Ua siab ncaj, koj nce txhua lub sijhawm, thiab cov neeg nyob ib puag ncig koj niaj hnub ua rau koj zam txim rau nws - ob leeg, thiab lwm yam koj tsis tau kawm.
Yuav ua li cas kom tiv nrog Perfectionism hais rau tib neeg
Perfectionists ntawm cov hom no yuav tsis muaj kev vam nyob rau hauv lawv qhov xwm txheej tseem ceeb. Txhua tus xav tau txais lawv, imposing tsis yooj yim cia siab thiab condemningly tshuab lub qhov ntswg. Lawv pom cov kev siab hlob thiab rau txim rau cov lus uas feem ntau. Lawv cia siab tias qhov phem tshaj plaws ntawm kev sib raug zoo. Lawv tsis meej pem thiab ntseeg tias lawv tsis nyiam leej twg.
Yog tias koj kawm koj tus kheej hauv cov lus piav qhia no, ces kuv xav cam koj! Txoj cai los ntawm lub sijhawm no, ua lub luag haujlwm rau txhua yam uas tshwm sim hauv koj lub neej. Txhua yam. Nov yog qhov kuv hu "thawj vera".
Thiab ua ntej koj pib tham: "Tab sis, kos, Kuv yeej tsis muaj txim uas lub ntiaj teb yog dab tsi! Kuv tuaj yeem nqa lub luag haujlwm no li cas? !?! " Nco ntsoov tias ua lub luag haujlwm rau qee yam tsis zoo ib yam uas koj yuav tsum ua txhaum.
Perfectionist hais rau lub zej zog poob rau hauv cov ntxiab uas kuv hu ua "kev txi". Koj hloov koj tus kheej rau tus neeg raug tsim txom ntawm kev txiav txim ntawm lwm tus neeg tsuas yog vim txoj kev no xav tias tseem ceeb.
Txoj hauj lwm ntawm tus neeg raug tsim txom ua rau koj xav nyob rau qee txoj kev tshwj xeeb thiab tshwj xeeb. Yog li ntawd, cov neeg uas tuaj sib cav sib txuas mus ua kev xav los ua cov neeg raug tsim txom tau ua rau muaj kev tshwj xeeb thiab tseem ceeb, txawm tias muaj mob rau lawv tus kheej.
Kev zoo tag nrho yog tsis zoo
Qhov kawg daws ntawm qhov teeb meem tsis yog kom tshem ntawm cov zoo tag nrho, tab sis kev rov ua haujlwm ntawm koj txoj kev nkag siab ntawm dab tsi yog "zoo tagnrho."Kev zoo tag nrho tsis muaj qhov tshwm sim. Cov txheej txheem zoo tshaj plaws tuaj yeem yog tus txheej txheem. Kev zoo tag nrho tej zaum yuav ua rau kev txhim kho, thiab tsis yog qhov xav tau ua txhua yam. Mob siab rau Greatness. Mob siab rau qhov zoo. Mob siab txawm kom zoo tag nrho.
Tab sis nkag siab: Koj muaj nyob hauv koj lub taub hau yog lub zeem muag zoo ntawm yuav ua li cas txhua yam yuav tsum tau npaj ua ntej, tsis zoo tag nrho. Cov txheej txheem zoo tshaj yog txheej txheem ntawm kev tshem tawm kev ua tsis tiav. Txhawm rau nrhiav ib yam dab tsi, thuam, swb, thiab tom qab ntawd ua haujlwm ntawm kev txhim kho. Qhov no yog qhov tshiab, tsis zoo ntawm cov zoo tshaj plaws. Qhov no yog qhov ua haujlwm ntawm perfectionism. Tias uas tsis tsav koj vwm lossis cov neeg nyob ib puag ncig koj.
Thiab kuv twv txawm hais tias qhov no yog ib qho muaj txiaj ntsig zoo ntawm kev qhuas zoo.
Cov lus ntawm cov ncauj lus
- Tsis nco qab txog kev ywj pheej: yuav ua li cas txwv kev pab muaj tswv yim
- Kev tsim khoom lag luam tau tshoov siab los ntawm kev mob nkees nkees syndrome
- Zuj zus tshaj li Fomo: yuav ua li cas ntshai tsam qhov kev xaiv zoo tshaj plaws hloov ua haujlwm thiab lub neej
- Cov neeg raug txim ntawm kev txaus siab: yuav ua li cas peb tau poob txiaj ntsig ntawm kev ua tsaug
# Kev Txhim Kho Tus Kheej
Ib qho chaw