In recent years, a lot of bloggers appeared on the Internet, which promise subscribers to teach them to be "real women." For the symbolic fee "Guru of Relationships" are ready to tell how to behave, what to say and how to dress up and forever to fall in love with a man and secure a guaranteed happy future. However, psychologists are convinced: cursory exercises on "female strength," on the contrary, only destroy the personality and secure toxic stereotypes in society.
We in adme.ru decided to figure out that not so with the postulates of "genuine femininity" and why female trainings sometimes carry more harm than good.
"I am a girl, I don't want to decide anything"
"Why should I decide something if there is a man for this?" - Hundreds of "real girls" are indignant, convinced that the duty to accept the decisions of a priori lies on the representatives of the strong sex. All that a woman should make in such a picture of the world is to just decorate the world with its presence. Such an installation, according to psychologists, makes significant damage to psychological health. In fact, the woman recognizes himself a stupid and gives all the power in the hands of a man. But in fact there are no objective reasons that would make a woman unable to accept responsible decisions. Slogan "I am a girl. I do not want to decide anything. I want to handle and dress "sounds as ridiculous as if it were similar to Male:" I am a man. I do not want to decide anything. I want to go to the garage and fishing. "
- Once at work, it was mentioned that the husband is lazy to help in the house. The regulatory colleague advised to "turn on the blonde": "The main thing, hopted more and pretend that they knew anything herself." In the evening, the husband, having listened to his knighthood and my helplessness, washed at the request of the dishes and with Otskaya said: "If what you need, you say. Only not Lebesi is so bigger, and then I have a feeling that I got married on my child. "
"Woman should be a mystery"
Adherents of "True Feminy" are confident: the straight and innocent girls do not like anyone. This woman should be a mystery. To master this skill, it cannot be initiated and, of course, do not talk about their thoughts, feelings and needs. Much more efficiently punish your satellite silence and intake coldness. The partner should be influenced exclusively with the help of hints and manipulations, yes such that all whims and whims of the second half a man accepted for his own desires. Is it worth saying that the suppression of emotions and manipulation do not bring together people, but, on the contrary, only remove them from each other. But, sure "femininity connoisseurs", a man with such a woman is never boring with such a woman.
- The colleague complained that it became bored with her husband. He sits in the evening in the games, she is on the Internet, nothing to talk about. And then somehow tells that the spouse has been playing sports and he has soon competitions. We were glad for her, saying: "Go for your sick, he will be nice!" And she answers: "No, I will not go. I go to the training "how to save the family". © Sunnygloryya / Pikabu
"A woman must inspire a man on the feats"
This is probably the main indicator of "exemplary femininity", over which, according to the coaching, need to work hard. Like, if something is not glued in the relationship, then the wine is first of all on a woman, because she, as a battery, should charge a man for success. And if he is lying in front of the TV, plays tanks, earns less than a thousand dollars a month, which means that it inspired enough, motivated and inspired. So that the partner felt like a getter, a woman should abandon his own ambitions and nightinglers to pour on the merits of a man every time he just rises from the sofa. Under the influence of such trainings, a woman begins to think that it is not good enough, and ceases to adequately assess the situation. She sincerely believes that, pretending to be weak, can make a man become stronger. In fact, changes are a serious inner work, only one who firmly decided to grow on themselves can do it, and not a person from the side, even if he is closest.
- Girlfriend, reading in social networks of enlightened bloggers, decided to inspire her husband for high earnings. Threw trousers, learned to "breathe the uterus" and to "create a spouse space for the feat", quit from work. When the money began to grab about the mortgage, the husband, the school teacher, went to tax. Sleeps for 4 hours a day, the ulcer aggravated, looks terrible. And the girlfriend is pleased, says that this makes it from her husband's "real man."
"The woman should be beautiful."
Selling trainings about "attracting women's happiness", the coaches often manipulate a sense of inferiority. Many women and so have stress due to the fact that they cannot meet unrealistic beauty standards imposed by society. And here is the "coach", which declares that all the troubles in relations with men are because the ladies have launched themselves: the pants are worn, do not make manicure, sleep in pajamas, and not in a translucent lace peignuar. Someone even recommends that wearing a skirt on a naked body, so as not to interfere with the Earth's energy to feed feminine essence. All this, in essence, only strengthens the insecurity of a woman in herself, makes her squeeze into a narrow framework of concepts about beauty and attractiveness, losing his own personality.
Why be a "real woman" is not the best idea
Cuchi, who promise to "wake up a goddess in the client", often do not have psychological education and only fix the toxic stereotypes in the mass consciousness. A woman visiting such courses actually learn how to become an immature, dependent person. We only need to give a man the role of the owner of someone else's life and fit into the template approved by the patriarchal society. Illusion, as if with the help of bad obedience, manipulations and magical techniques, you can get happiness and love, destructive. Unfortunately, women, not in the most resistant moral state fall into the trap. Supporting unhealthy relationships, who survived a heavy gap or desperate to find personal happiness, they are ready for any money to buy a "magic tablet", which will deliver them from problems. But there is no such pill.
What are the required attributes of the "real woman" annoy you, and what are it reasonable? How do you feel about pumping courses for female energy?