I remembered how about the seventh day after giving birth, when I, barely barely, rolled out a wheelchair with a child, one cute lady came up to me.
- Well? Gave birth?! - She smiled at me, right there by releasing the look at my belly, slightly reminded the closed parachute. He stood out ugly under the T-shirt. - Now you need to lose weight.
I became very shameful.
I was drilled in response. Something among "Yeah, you are right" and "go beyond your dear", but the Council took to heart. I strongly reduced the diet, through the power of exercises and quickly dropped overweight. But according to the psyche and on the body it spinned, of course, very painful. I understand with horror, what consequences other than insomnia and constant stress could have my acne, and I get scared. But it was possible to simply wait a couple of months, and calmly, without hysteria, enter the rhythm. But she was a very good man, this woman. She simply did not think about the details.
Listen, I repent, I myself sometimes spoke about someone for my eyes: they say why he or she will not fix the situation? Just take and do. For three months, there are no problems. And it really seemed to me, like thousands of other people who are not going to the details. And often in them, as you know, the devil lies.
Now it is generally popular with such an opinion that a person can fix everything in his life, and if he did not fix it, he did not tear off a carcass from the sofa - hence he is just lazy, and it is better to explain to him that he clears out. Then he will become ashamed, and then good. That all the problems from the lack of motivation, and if the person is more accurate, with good, of course, goals, then it will be it better. So do many guru, and they also get money for it.
And in this thoughts lightening a big one-to-date not true, because people forget about what. That human needs are divided into elementary, basic. And the needs of a higher order.
There is a foundation of the house - it is to be slept, calm for tomorrow, with the basic needs of the type of payment for apartments and buy quality products, have time to rest and restore, be able to be alone with you, and so on.
And there is a beautiful facade. This is a strong, minted body with workouts. These are well-groomed hair, manicure, these outfits, in the end, in which they like to dress up women in all sorts of fashionable sentences. This is the reading of fashionable books on psychology, and prestigious entertainment, and anything.
Now it is fashionable to embrace women for the ugly, laid facade. Require it to urgently repair. Surprise why she can not paint the fence around the house. And at this time, maybe the foundation has already rotted through. And the whole design keeps on an honest word and on one wing. And you do not need to be distracted into small cosmetic repairs. We must first patch out big holes, and then engage in detail.
The problem is also in what follows, we are taught. We are ashamed that we do not meet the requirements of the Company in terms of weight, salary, beauty, and so on. And ensure that inside, many of us have never learned. After all, before that, often there was no business.
Why am I saying? To make the excess weight on the consequences of childbirth while your child turned 32 years old? To burn all motivating books and fully watered on a sofa with ice cream? To never strive for anything? Not.
I'm about that sometimes, wanting to help, we can not see what actually happens to a person. We tell him something like: "Gather, do not be a rag!". Or even shame it, blame him. And in fact he needs to just give sleep. Fur in the bathroom for an hour and a half without consequences. Let eat calmly and thoughtfully, without distracting anyone. Give a little silence. Take off to a leisurely quiet walk.
Sometimes it is even so that this person is you.
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