Recently, a note came from the journal "Snob" - in it a famous psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky in his lecture
"Happiness: instructions for use"
Reasoning about happiness. Rather, why many of our compatriots are panicly afraid to live in their pleasure and constantly hide behind some kind of controversial sacrifice (I can not live for yourself, you need to take care of your parents, to put children on your feet, repairs to do, change the car ...) And so continues to deep old age.
We always live for someone, in the name of something, but never for yourself.
Because it is selfish, isn't it?
We all learned since childhood that it was ashamed to live for themselves: you must certainly give birth to a child, plant a tree and benefit humanity. And all this is definitely true, but also you can not forget about yourself.
Many exercises, including religious, inspired us that problems and suffering are normal. And grandmothers poured oil into the fire, noticing that "today you are laughing, and tomorrow you will cry."
Happy and satisfied people in many are associated with something non-permanent, unnatural. You look at him and think: Well, we still, let's see what it will be next.
The scenario "efforts and overcoming is the norm" Parents are laid in us: who do not pay attention to the fathers and people offended by the mother.
- After all, it was they who said: "Yes, it's hard, but it's a good!", "Life live - not the field to go," not to fat, to live "and so on ...
Being happy seems to be ashamed, but no one taught us the ability to rejoice.
- Did not teach us the ability to rest without feeling guilt.
- The ability to be grateful for the fact that good gives you life every day.
- The ability to take care of your beauty and body, even if you have to allocate money from the family budget.
- No one taught us to love themselves. To suffer and call everything, but to enjoy life - units.
Labkovsky assures that happiness is a habit. The same as misfortune. If we are once used to looking for a negative, constantly offend and complain, then you can learn to act on the contrary: to do to live in the image of a permanent victim of fate and learn how to look for a reason for sadness, but for joy.
It is very convenient to suffer: after all, when you are a victim of circumstances, there are one injustice and evil around you, it seems to be any responsibility for life any. This is why they are to blame for everything, this is the fate of the villain, badly, the evil eye, someone else's envy ...
Happiness is a habitSo we live from day to day, falling into the familiar image of a haired, nothing decisive sufferer, we are ashamed to go to meet your dreams, look for happiness and elementary to enjoy life ...
You say, in words it sounds simple, and you try to rejoice when on the ears in debt, loans and fears about the future of children?
And once again confirm the theory of Labkovsky: you are simply accustomed to focus exclusively on problems. Well, if you look at the same situations from a positive point of view?
"Although you are in concerns about children, but at least they have them." And how much in the light of childless and unfortunate people?
- Although you have a loan, but at least you have a job to pay it. Many people have no opportunity to buy things in installments ...
The most important thing is to enjoy lifeWell, and so on, lists the entire list of all the best that you have: roof over your head, healthy body, husband, friends, beloved relatives, neighbors, beautiful view from the window ...
Well, will you not find at least 10 positive things that make you a happy person? Things on which you need to focus and, instead of complaints and claims for life, rejoice in them.
And it's not about anything to deny yourself and not pay attention to the needs of others. It is exclusively that the balance must be observed: and others love others, and do not forget about yourself ... And it turns out that others we love more than yourself, and then because of this sacrifice themselves and suffer.
And you, dear readers, know how to rejoice and be happy, or something prevents your happiness? What if not a secret?
Write in the comments!
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