Many stereotypes about men and women do not help us in life and are even harmful, the blogger and culturalologist Ella Rossman is convinced. But a year from year to year, from generation to generation, parents and school teach this girls. In for Mel.fm, the author described five skills, without which, in her opinion, women would not just live, but will also live much better and happier.
Many stereotypes about men and women do not help us in life and are even harmful, the blogger is convinced. But a year from year to year, from generation to generation, parents and school teach this girls. In the column for Mel.fm, the author described five skills, without which, in her opinion, women would not just live, but also become much better and happier, writes rebenok.by.
Be a neat and diligent
"Why the toys are crushed, you're a girl!", "Why in a notebook dirty, you're a girl!", "Why books are not in place, you're a girl!" - Who did not hear it at least once in life? With the focus on "You're a girl", of course. Girls are taught to be particularly perceptible, neat and attentive to detail, sometimes to the most extreme degree of perfectionism.
Let's frankly: Accuracy, the ability to decompose "according to daddy" and attention to the details have nothing to do with the gender. Perhaps they will be useful to you in professional life, but why teach these skills every and so intrusive from the small years?
However, it is no coincidence that they are trained. From women, they still expect that they will work, and the house with children is in order to keep, and maybe also husband in his affairs. That is, sooner or later they will become for home by free cleaners and secretaries in combination.
In sociology, the state of affairs, when women work for eight hours, and then come home and accepted to obstore all, it is called "double shift" (either "second shift", "double load", "double burden") . Has it honest when some work in one shift, and others in two, and even for free in the second? No, dishonest, and still very hard and tedious. Let's not prepare girls to cook for such a lifetime.
The visual embodiment of all this gender is by no means neutral history about adjacent - school registers. In general, it is still beautiful with us still traine all children, regardless of sex, and, in my opinion, pay a lot of attention in schools. From the girls often, according to all the same old unknown habit, require special accuracy in crumbs and notebooks. As a result, girls and women are usually favorably handwriting, some of them even calligraphic, but there is no point in it, unless you are, actually, calligrapher.
Be obedient
For me, the widespread praise of obedience is the religion of slaves. We are surrounded by a highly competitive and quite difficult world, where more people and less resources are. It is necessary to be initiated by the initiative, to fight for your idea and for myself, for your happiness and for my own business. And in the world, not all honestly arranged. So why do we teach children to follow his rules instead of changing reality?
Once will not help find his place under the sun and achieve his own, important, right, interesting, other. But it will make the girl comfortable to everyone around: parents, teachers, husband and his mother. Does this "convenience" bring a girl to happiness and consistency? I have big doubts about this. Obedient girls who result in all are an image of old fairy tales, like Cinderella and Snow Queen (which we all read in childhood, by the way). In real life, the story with obedience is more likely to enjoy and allow others to satisfy their desires. No one guarantees that you will pay a storm for such an act of goodwill.
In the same daddy about obedience, all the classic "ability to give up", the "skill of listening" and even the "ability to be inconspicuous" (I heard about such a skill from one old girlfriend). As for me, it is much better to teach a child (any sex) to listen to yourself, arguing, argumenting, protect your ideas, to achieve goals and show talents. And, of course, think of your head instead of agreeing with everyone without disaster.
Not to run
The ideas about the natural physical weakness of women are exaggerated in the same way as the ideas about the weakness of our mind or leadership qualities. It is this position that the author of the book "Myth of Weakness" is protected - the American psychologist chopped Doubling. It unites the data of physiological, biological and endocrinological studies and proves that girls and women in physical force could not give way to boys and men.Only first from school years we are learning to use your body: less often go to sport, active games are encouraged. Gradually, women lose their physical form, because if you do not train from early childhood (and constantly), it is impossible to preserve all the possibilities of the body. In general, if we remove social factors, the difference between the power of men and women is insignificant, he writes dawling, and only we ourselves make it so noticeable.
The book was released in 2001, she was not transferred to Russian yet. Although what relevant it seems to our latitudes! The main idea of the very simple and many hours of translators and editors does not require: whenever you do not give a girl once again to run or climb on the tree, you make it weaker physically and perhaps less healthy. Just remember this.
Do not fight
It is unpleasant to say that, but this is a fact: sexual and domestic violence - Beach of our society. Many aggressors feel absolutely impunity and doing with their families everything is pleased.
Nobody is protected from violence, even the most prudent woman in the world. Homemade violence - only one of his appearance. In such conditions, be able to defend yourself - a reasonable skill that can save life and health. Every time you want to say my daughter or younger sister "Do not touch, you're a girl," remember, in which environment it has to live, and do not say anything. But it is better to tell the girls what a valid attitude is in a pair and in any other relationship, and adolescents - how to recognize dangerous bells in communication, what to do if they still encountered violence at home, and about admissible self-defense, of course.
To be beautiful
Men in women are still seeing beauty primarily, and then everything else, - precisely sociologists came to such conclusions. From early years old, beauty is very important, it may be even paramount to all our later life, and all other qualities and features are already followed.
At the same time, the requirements for the appearance of women often turn out to be extremely dual: they must show the bends of the body, but not too obvious not to be alleged. Paint, but not too bright, because then it will look ridiculous. It can not be completely without cosmetics, so only the blue stockings go. The list can be continued to infinity. Sometimes the line between the faithful and incorrect is so elusive that it is simply impossible to fall into one of the extremes.