For more than twenty years ago, Eco Levens received two times the ECO procedure in New York. She managed to endure and give birth to two sons. And she almost never recalled that in a special repository of that clinic there were another 14 unused embryos - while once did not receive a letter in which it was said that it was time for her to decide on their further fate. Here is her story.
I remember well how the first time went to the gynecologist after marriage. He said: "You are absolutely healthy!" In other words, go and multiply! I was almost thirty years old, but I could not get pregnant.
My father, who also worked as a gynecologist, said that if after six months, nothing happens, it would be necessary to take testing, to make special tests. As a result, it turned out that I had obstruction of uterine pipes. I made an operation to clean. After the operation, after the operation assured me in the fact that one uterine tube was in good shape, and the other is not very good, but that everything is formed over time.
I could have become pregnant several times to get pregnant, but I always lost the fruit on early. It was terrible. Dark years. I did not want to see any of my friends. I generally did not want to see anyone. It seemed to me that everything around me go pregnant, and only I do not work.
Everything seemed to be a step towards your dream, and only I could not move away. All I thought - that I just really wanted to have children.Then I was diagnosed with ectopic pregnancy. I was in the office and suddenly felt a terrible pain. I have never been so painful in my life. I called the doctor and asked: "I'll die tonight?" And he replied: "Come to the hospital immediately."
I remember me hung on the banking in the operating room. On the clock was nine in the evening - time when on television just got out the show, which I worked on. It turned out that my baby was stuck in the very good uterine tube. So I lost it. And lost another child.
I understood that the last chance to get pregnant now is to do Eco.To give birth to the first baby, I left five and a half years. When the first trimester passed, and his heart was still fighting, I buried. I have never managed to move so far. When I was pregnant with my first son, I was even afraid to think about the name for him.
The only way to protect yourself from unnecessary emotions, when you passed through a whole series of pregnancy losses - build a wall around you and just move forward. We did and did. After some time I managed to get pregnant with Eco again, I was attached to the embryo from the same party as in the first successful pregnancy. My second son was born.
A few years later, my husband went on a business trip to Australia. I had a delay. For the first time in life, I passed a home test for pregnancy, and he turned out to be positive. Unfortunately, I never managed to endure a natural pregnancy. I lost the child. It was the last, ninth miscarriage. But then I already perceived it without bitterness.
We had two healthy children - and once we were told that we would never be able to become parents.Today, my children are 22 and 24 years old. Three weeks ago, I received a letter from the cryoral, where there are 14 of my embryos in the freezer. I was shocked. This embryo is almost 26 years old. My boys were from the same party. After the passage of Eco, I paid for embryos for another three years. Then I was asked to decide whether I want to continue their storage, if I want to sacrifice them or just throw it away.
I was not going to use them for myself and I did not want to act as an embryos donor for other people. But I could not make myself sign a letter about what is ready to completely refuse them.
I just removed this letter somewhere away and did not answer him.And after 17 years I came a new letter. It was said that for some mistake, all this time did not set an account for storing embryos, and that now I have to solve their fate, otherwise after 30 days the account will still come.
Obviously, I am not going to pass more ECO procedure, but emotionally it is very difficult for me to let these embryos. I thought to take them home and bury them. Or donate them to the laboratory for experiments. Now I am waiting for an answer from several centers, which are engaged in the study of stem cells. I could not even imagine how hard I will make this decision.
Maybe all because I am so proud of my boys? Maybe I just could now move the breath after all this marathon miscarriage and understand how traumatic was the period for me?Whatever I do, those children I have lost in the early period of pregnancy, no more. When you worry about many years in infertility, you seem to ride on American roller trees: just close your eyes and see only the ultimate goal. At that time, people spoke very little with each other about miscarriages, about reproductive difficulties. And I, too, did not want to discuss this with anyone.
I was closed in myself, I was very bad. My husband's sister recommended me to join the support group called Resolve. In the end I called them. And it was one of the best things I did in my life.
The psychologist at that end of the wire then told me two things that I helped me very much: first, that at some point we will definitely find the way how to solve this situation, and secondly, that if we want a child so much, then In some way, we will definitely get the child who is intended for us.
At least it is true: I have two wonderful children ... who were created for me.
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