Mutual assistance destroys stereotypes
Why monthly is not only "women's affairs", and why should they worry boys just like girls? Just because menstruation should not be some kind of gender curse, which must be hidden and which you need to be ashamed, is convinced by the mother of two teenagers of Tara Arens.
In September 2019, a woman told in a closed group on Facebook, that her sons - 15-year-old T-shirts and 16-year-old Eliji - there are always a tampon and gasket in the backpacks - in case the hygiene tools suddenly need their friends or classmates.
For several hours, the post scored more than 65 thousand likes and many comments are predominantly positive. This is how Tara spoke about his experience in the column of Cafemom.
Fact: According to UNICEF, 26 percent of the inhabitants of the Earth are menstrual. This is one quarter of all of us. And despite this, most women and girls will tell you that even talking about menstruationally in publicity is taboo. But as a ten-year-old daughter's mother and two teenage sons, I hope to change it.
Earlier this month I posted a photo of my sons in a closed group on Facebook, and watched the post became viral. I made this photo in the store where we went shopping for the new school year. "My boys today helped me with purchases," I wrote. - who included the first bras for their younger sister. "
And then I added:
Both of my sons in a backpack lies on a tampon and gasket, in case they need someone from their friends. I'm just a mom who tries to get rid of gender taboo!
After the publication, the post quickly became viral and caused a rapid reaction of commentators. "The post received predominantly positive feedback," recalls Tara. "And he inspired women at the age of forty, fifty, sixty years to share terrible stories from his youth, when they were desperately needed hygiene, but they simply were not there."
One woman remembered the story of how she, being a young girl, "proceeded" through the clothes, and her friend gave her his sweater so that she could tie her on the waist. She still remembers his kindness.
However, there were even more stories related to humiliation, shame and helplessness. The infinite number of women was told about the fathers and husbands that "never went to the store for hygienic means." Some commentators insulted my attempt to change the old-fashioned approach to the monthly.
It is completely clear to me: menstruation still remains a huge gender taboo, from which we could not get rid of - but I do everything to grow men who destroy it.
The leaks happen, "I explained to my sons. - They are very frightened and can be quite traumatic. Help here may be a kindness and understanding from any. Become this man.
In fact, our bodies simply make what they are physically intended for. So why should we be shy?
I first started talking to them about this last year after I read an article about a man, who during the campaign on the Appalachian trail gave Tampon from his backpack a woman who "tracked." It was written there that he said something like: "Nothing terrible, I grew up with my mother and sisters ..." - and it shocked me to the depths of the soul.
Once I led the car and, looking at my sons in the rearview mirror, carelessly suggested them to put on a tampon in their backpacks in the case, if some of their friends need emergency assistance. They seemed to think about it, and did not say anything particularly, well, because they are teenagers.
The turning point came when such "emergency assistance" needed a friend Eliji, and she "traced" at school. From that day Elijah began to wear a spare tampon and gasket in his backpack, and Mike did the same. Then, T-shirt told his close friends that, just in case, in his locker there is a spare sweatshirt, and in his backpack - a spare tampon.
"But Elija told about it to all his friends: both boys, and girls," recalls Tara. He said that, despite the fact that some boys had fun over him, the majority said "Cool, Dude." He also noted that his girlfriends took it more openly, and even advised him to keep some more spare hygiene in the car.
Life with teenage boys is in a generally infinite cycle of styrics, thickening inhuman hunger, grumble, laughter and small, fast educational moments - such as this one.
All you can do in order to help them understand what is really important (for example, how to help your friends stay safe during a party, follow your surroundings and security of the surrounding people) and in what no matter (for example , Pubertat, periods, and yes - leakage) - it makes sense.
And as you normalize all these things, discussing them regularly, they become normal for your children.
I hope that representatives of all gender, including transgender children, will know that to my sons it is safe to seek hygienic means if they ever need them. But even more I hope that all these small actions will change how high school students perceive the whole topic.
We sincerely admire the determination of Tara Arens and her sons and hope that sooner or later such cool manifestations of concerns about others will be found in Russian schools.
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