How to use social networks to strengthen relationships with children and not to pass a stick - not to play in "your own board" and not be too intrusive? Time Out reflected over this issue and found a short answer for him: with love and curiosity.
Many parents are confident that they perfectly know their children, but often they lose this illusion simultaneously with the advent of the child's pages in social networks. On the Internet, their quiet domestic child appears completely different. Say, activist. Or a fan of extremely specific music. Or ... In general, an adult discovers that he is really not bad with his child's homework - but the public only to learn and somehow establish contact with her.
I will always be against!There is a category of parents who are not ready to put up with this order of things. For them, the problem becomes the inconsistency of images: one suits them, it is "correct", and the other does not respond to their idea of the perfect child. "Correct" the situation is often radical ways of the type of strict prohibitions, instructions, restrictions - what do not really complicate the life of all participants in the conflict.
What to do a parent who looked into the social network of Chad and wanted to knock the fist on the table? First, immediately stop learning the child's account, so as not to break even more. Then take a pause for consultation with a psychologist or independent reflection on the topic "What exactly is me angry why I can't take it." And only then return to social networks. With a cold head and understanding: Yes, the images are two - but this is the same person, my child. He is not obliged to like me in all life situations, but I love him anyway.
An adult, who was stuck in the textures of his worldview of the fifteen years ago ("We were not there before!") And fountains unreasonable estimates and tips, the teenager is difficult to perceive seriously ("Okay, you were not, and I have something to do with it?"). This does not mean that parents need to be rushed to another extreme, starting unconditionally to divide the interests of Chad and follow them - Avtoelecting to listen to the Dora or run to pierce septum.
It is important for the child to feel like relatives in security - and this statement is fair both for real life and for online space.
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The key to the sense of security lies in unconditional adoption by parents - and mutual trust is born here. Which, in turn, guarantees that in any non-standard situation, the child for help and support will appeal to relatives.
Who are you?The parent, who managed to take the features of the image of his child in social networks, can make the next big step: try with curiosity to ask the child about these very features. It is with curiosity dictated by the sincere desire to understand the logic and motivation of the child.
A simple friendly request to tell, what qualities attract the child in his beloved blogger or artist: if the child see in a diligent listener asked, he willingly share his considerations on this. And at the same time tells what "cringe", "crash", "staming", and how they differ from more understandable for adult synonyms (spoiler: stylistics). As a result, an adult will become a little clearer and "what can in general like", and the worldview of the child, and his dialogues with their friends who have glanced in friends.
The value of cultural and social phenomena can not be measured by a certain magic objective line. And is it necessary? But you can rejoice with the child that there is something in the world that makes it happy.
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Interestingly ..."Walking on the heels" for a child on social networks (study subscriptions, look at the profiles of friends, favorite performers and so on) absolutely not necessarily even from the best motives - it is more annoying than perceived as a manifestation of care. All interesting baby will share himself. If he wants. Parents better spend time to find something really entertaining on the net.
Twitter and Instagram seems to have a majority of adults from 35 and older, with these sites, everything, in general, is understandable. At Tiktok, the attitude is more wary - at first glance it seems that there are only strange teenage dancing.
In fact, in addition to entertainment content in Tiktok, full of social rollers and educational videos (for example, step-by-step recipes), and the age of tickers is not limited to 25 years.
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In a word, give a ticotok chance! Install it and get ready for a couple of days to press "uninteresting" on the rollers that you don't like it (that is, at first almost all) and celebrate the heart cute - gradually the algorithm is soiented so much that you start to look at Tiktok with sincere pleasure.
Peaceful coexistence in any social network allows an additional general context to get an adult and child. Knowledge of the principles and rules of the application makes it possible to share each other with an interesting content without additional instructions. It greatly simplifies communication and even stimulates it!
You do not mind?.."I don't want to be photographed!" - "Come on, well, you, one time, click - here the grandmother will be happy! Well, smile! " The frame as a result was made, the child is distressed by the fact that he was not heard ("I am not important!"), Grandma is worried about why the grandson or granddaughter looks gloomy. This is such a typical offline situation that illustrates how easily adults comes to the borders of the child and do not see anything special about it.
On the Internet, this story finds a continuation. Many parents, long and successfully dwelling in social networks like "VKontakte", Facebook, Instagram regularly post photos of their children in the profile. But not everyone ask for children consent to it. "What for? My child is what I want, I do it! " - The thought is understandable, but ...
You can try otherwise: do not take pictures of the child, if he refuses, ask him permission to publish portraits and can even be coordinated to specific images. If you practice this from an early age, a child has more chances to grow with healthy and strong boundaries. But it is not too late to start doing so 10, and at 15, and at 25, and in 30.
Such questions are not a waste of time, but the signal: it is important for me that you feel, and I want you to be comfortable. And additional bricks to strengthen relationships.
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In the design of the article were used photos from the site Depositphotos.