The first love is an event that will be remembered all my life, and for some it can become a determining factor in its future relations with the mighty floors. Unfortunately, this experience is not always positive - almost a third of children and teenagers first love is unrequited or unhappy. Parents, if they learn about such a situation, you need to help cope with feelings to protect from stupid or even the fatal steps.
Signs of undivided love
That with a child there is something wrong, they will be able to be able to immediately those parents who are indifferent to them. A teenager becomes closed, exhausted from the usual classes, ceases to be interested in studying. The majority disappears, but it may be a set - the child "hires" his experiences. In the direction of parents and adults who are interested in the reasons of change, negativism begins to roughly, open conflicts and disobedience. But most of the relationship with one of the friends (girlfriends) become very close, secret. But half of adolescents are experiencing a love tragedy on their own, afraid to open someone to not be the subject of ridicule, first of all.
Now parents are much easier. Modern children often photograph each of their pitch and write about experienced emotions on social networks. And lay out photos and posts several times a day. Already on open to all information you can assess the condition of the child. So look more often on the pages of your children, but unobtrusively.
As a rule, with love, teenagers start spending more time outside the house, spend a lot of time in social networks, in conversations by phone. He asks more money and begins to pay a lot of attention to his appearance, which is most unhappy.
Another behavioral stencil: full care from reality with the help of computer games, alcohol, communication with friends or hobbies by extreme sports.
There are several main tabups for adults, which violate psychologists extremely not recommended:
- Do not swear in children's things - pockets of things, bags, table boxes. Such behavior will remove the child and strengthen negativism.
- No need to control a mobile phone and a teenager computer.
- It is impossible to prohibit the child to leave somewhere - she will still run away, much more reasonably give the child a little more freedom than usual.
- It is not necessary to criticize the desire to change something in appearance, but few parents can calmly and silently watch such experiments, not criticizing the child. It is better to simply accept the situation - usually such desires go through.
- Do not dramatize the situation.
- Do not tease the child and do not laugh at his feelings - they are no less serious than adults.
Probable consequences of love injury
In any case, undeveloped is psychological trauma.
- If we do not have a teenager, which suffers from unrequited love of proper support, then a mental disorder can develop.
- Many have depressive symptoms: depressed tuning, constant longing, indifference to everything.
- One of the dangers most often for girls is the absence of appetite, weight loss up to anorexia.
- In severe cases, adolescents may have ideas about the meaninglessness of existence, thoughts about the reluctance to live.
What to do parents
Parents should have a maximum of tact. It is not necessary to immediately begin to make a child with questions about love, problems in school. Important:
- refrain from questioning, communication should be as tactful as possible;
- listen, support, understand, even sympathize;
- You can tell about your first love, only without dramatization;
- Communicate with a teenager as calmly as possible, not to express annoyance, do not condemn it for the "unsuccessful" object selection;
- refuse to communicate with peers;
- Try to switch attention to other parties to life that do not contact with personal relationships - send on a trip, write down on new courses, come up with a new type of classes;
- At will, or the consent of the child, try to understand the occurrence.