There are different situations in life that pushing
Write a refusal of your own baby. Some did not want a child originally, but it was too late to interrupt the pregnancy. Someone voiced terrible
And Mom and Pope decided that they would not cope with such a burden. But what subsequently feel parents? How can you calmly live, knowing that somewhere your keynament, which is so missing mother's care and fatherly attention?
History Mom, who left her daughter in an orphanage, and then wanted to pick her
Woman let's call her Anna, lived with her husband in a small town. Anna worked as a teacher, her husband is an engineer. The couple decided that it would be time to have a child, and in 9 months a beautiful girl appeared. A few years later, Anna and her husband thought and came to the conclusion that the daughter needs a brother or sister. The second pregnancy proceeded more difficult than the first. But Anna was not worried, because not everything is always smooth. For a long time tormented toxicosis, lay several times on preserving in the hospital. When a woman began to grow his belly, her husband with her older daughter loved to put his hands on him and wait for the youngest daughter to kick. It was very touching, and the older girl at such moments began to scream loudly.
The date of delivery approached. Anna gathered the necessary things, her mother came to watch the older granddaughter. Births passed relatively quickly and easily, but for some reason, Anna did not show a newborn. When a woman was transported to the ward, the nurses took her eyes, and the child did not bring everything. Anna nervous, did not understand that not. And then the head of the department came to her and said that the girl was born with Down syndrome.
Anna sat in a stupor. The words of the head slowly reached her consciousness, and when she understood what was happening, the wall floated, and the woman fainted. Then there were tears, sobbing, terrible depression. The head called Anna to his office, carefully sat on the couch:
You better abandon the child, because you already have a daughter. Imagine what it will see her that all the forces you spend on a sick girl. You are young, why do you need to carry such a burden all my life? You will not help my sick child, so think about your family, about yourself, in the end. You will burn yourself alive if you take it.Anna did not understand what to do. She tried to imagine what life would be with a sick child, and the eyes were immediately filled with tears. It was scary to leave the child, but it was also scary to come home with such a girl. Anna came out of the cabinet, leaned against the wall, felt the legs become cotton and refuse to listen to her. She miraculously got to his chamber and called her husband.
"It would be better if she died, it would be better if she was born dead." Why do we have it?
My husband readingly said:
- In our house, such a child will not live.
Life after
His decision was supported by everything: grandparents, close friends. The husband was late for Anna late in the evening, and they actually escaped from the maternity hospital, leaving there a little, defenseless child. Anna will still remember how they fled to the car, and then the husband pressed the gas pedal, as if he wanted to quickly leave the crime scene. Anna's eldest daughter said that the sister died when he was born.
The first weeks Anna and her husband practically talked about the younger daughter, which they threw in the maternity hospital. They were afraid that the eldest daughter hears, said that it was the only way out.
Still, in orphanages and boarding schools know how to care for children. There are experts, classes, doctors. And what at home? We would be crazy here,- I tried to find the arguments a husband.
At that time, her mother came to Anna. She tried to support, said that the right decision was made. And herself looked down, and in general, tried not to look at Anna and her spouse. It seemed that they were all accomplices in their family who committed a terrible crime, but not yet caught by the police.
In the house reigned oppressive silence. Husband began to linger at work, the grandmothers were less and visit to visit. There were no family dinners, hiking in a cafe, trips to nature.
"I could not sleep without sleeping pills for several months. The husband slept separately, we practically stopped communicating. I had a terrible depression, I just did not want to live. Probably, would have done something with me if it were not for the eldest daughter, "- tells Anna.
From hopelessness, the woman began to spend a lot of time on the Internet. Once it came across the chat, where the same parents shared their stories. Read it was very hard. Couples seemed to be looking for an excuse for their act, but it was not.
Is it possible to forgive yourself?
If you read what the parents write, who abandoned their own children, are starting to understand what hell on Earth. These people live exactly there, in their own hell. They think about their act, about the child who threw, every second. Yes, it is incredibly difficult to raise a child with serious illness. But it is much more difficult to live with severity in the heart after you left the defenseless baby on the mercy of fate. Parents try to find a justification: in a specialized boarding school, a disabled child will be better than at home, we have no time, forces, the financial opportunity to raise such a baby. But all this excuses that do not bring relief.
Parents who left children, ask every day: "Do I ever forgive me for what I did?". But the answer is obvious. Of course, there is no forgiveness of such a act.
Visit to the boarding school
When it became unbearable to live in such an atmosphere, Anna decided to see where her second daughter lives. At first she just approached the door, then he met staff, began to ask how her baby was there. And at some point I realized that I was ready to see a little man whom she made on the light and threw.
"When I saw her, my heart sank into a lump. She was very similar to me, very. I thought I would see someone else's child, but it was my daughter, "- remembers with tears in the eyes of Anna.
That time the woman escaped, did not even come to the girl. But from his thoughts it was impossible to escape. She scrolled every minute in memory as shots from the film in slow motion, the first meeting after a shameful flight with the younger daughter. Anna and dragged back back to the boarding school.
Anna stood in the distance and watched her daughter. Here it is interested looking somewhere, and then as if it goes into my senses. A female boarding school came to a woman. "The baby understands that I don't need anyone," the worker said, and Anna ran out, barely holding back sobs.
Anna's houses waited for her husband to talk to him seriously. She honestly admitted that he was in the boarding school and saw their daughter. "We must pick her up," said Anna, and her husband said that I agree. For the first time, Anna experienced relief. They made a decision, and only it was the only true.
Crash hopes and new plans
Anna and the spouse discussed what the eldest daughter will say. They chose a crib, clothes, toys for younger daughter. Parents collected documents, came to the boarding school. And then the call rang, which crossed all the hopes of the family. They reported that the girl died from infection.
- Riddal Anna.
The husband tried to console, was near, but Anna was very difficult to experience the death of the younger daughter, who left his life in a stranger, when there were no native people nearby. And one day he hugged his spouse and said: "Let's do the girl. I saw how much refusal in the boarding school? ".
Parents of her husband and Anna arrived. Until the morning, they reflected how to educate and raise a child with a serious illness. Everyone was together, everyone knew that they would cope.
Now in the family lives a girl with Down syndrome. She, like Sunny, lights their home every morning. Anna and her husband had the meaning of life, and the eldest daughter of the soul does not get in the younger sister.