Fear - our friend
To begin with, it is important to understand that fear is not an enemy, but an ally. Thanks to him, humanity lived to the present day. Fear protects us, does not allow themselves danger.
Another thing - when fear becomes obsessive and prevents living. Children are especially subject to fear because of their rapid psyche.
Age fearsAll ages are submissive not only love, but also fear. And every age - its own.
Up to 1 year, the child may be afraid of external stimuli: bright light, noise, unexpected actions, movements.
Children under 3 years old scares the separation with parents and a sharp change in the situation. There may also be a fear of sleep, because nightmares begin to dream at this age.
In 4-5 years, children often frighten fabulous characters - grandmas ties, evil wizards and other evil spirits, which can generate fear of darkness and loneliness.
About 7 years old, the child will know the fear of death - both own and close people. Also, with accession to school age, the fear of disapproval appears, the fear of being not as everyone, and various school fears - from the twos for the control to be late.
Teenagers often suffer fears before the future.
If fear is manifested often and not much, that is, it does not prevent the child to live and develop, then nothing needs to do with him. You can simply speak frightening moments, calm when it is appropriate.
If the fear is very worried about the child and affects the quality of life, then the parents have to intervene.
- Devalue feelings. No matter how ridiculous to you the cause of fear, do not raise and do not scold a child. "Well, what are you like a girl! No woman Yaga exists! So big, and you believe in fairy tales, "these words do not get rid of the child from fear, but they will be given to understand that his feelings and emotions are not important.
- Apply shock therapy. Close the fearing the darkness of the child in a dark room, throw someone who is afraid of water, to depth ... such sadistic methods will most likely have a sad result in the form of panic attacks, nervous ticks and the lack of basic confidence in the world.
- Talk. Very often irrational, it would seem, fear has a completely rational reason. Why suddenly the child began to be afraid of the women of Yaga, although you did not read the fairy tales about her? It is likely that someone scared. Find out whether grandmothers or caregivers in the kindergarten fairy tale say that Baba Yaga takes off naughty children.
- To create. The cause of fear is not always easy to understand, but even more formulate. This can help creativity. There is even a whole direction - art therapy. You can draw your own fear and burn it, you can draw it small and insignificant, and yourself nearby - great and strong. Often, from the drawings, you can find out what the child is afraid and how he sees this world.
- Tell fairy tale. Fairy-therapy is almost the same as art therapy. She helps to remove and look at himself and their own fear of. Offer the child to compose a fairy tale about what scares him, and along the plot, try to deal with your fear. Preferably in several ways.
- Contact a specialist. Sometimes you can not cope with your own. If nothing helps, find a good psychologist for a child. He knows more professional approaches, besides, it is sometimes easier to open an unfamiliar person than who knows you and loves.
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