How to talk confidently in public: 6 strategies

Coach, Professor and Writer Melody Wilding proposes not to deal with the fear of speeches, but accept it and act accordingly

You will find a new meeting at work, and it instills horror in you. But if you want to move forward, it is important to confident in public.

Such a goal was set by one of my clients, Ellison, when we started working with her. She came to me with a question: "Why am I so nervous before the speech at the meeting?"

Ellison was an experienced specialist in the field of cyber security, and her experience was so highly appreciated that it was raised in office.

The new position was exciting and opened great opportunities for her career. But what she had more often to be in appearance, caused her incredible concern. Fear of performances at the congratulations paralyzed it. When she needed to say something, Ellison Chapel, pondered the answer for too long and eventually mumbled something incoherent.

After that, she crashed herself and felt an impostor, unable to fulfill his work. She desperately wanted to be more confident and less timid at meetings and at work as a whole.

Do you know the story of Ellison? If so, then you are not alone.

Sensitive workers at meetings

Sensitive hardships are highly efficient staff who are pretty deeply worried and feel absolutely everything. Such people are about 15-20%. Ordinary working situations that cause moderate stress at the average person may fail the sensitive working, especially when overloading. The ability to carefully process information discloses many possibilities and talents. But it also means increased susceptibility to stress and a tendency to an emotional reaction, especially when it is associated with judgments or estimates from other people (for example, at a meeting or during conference call).

How sensitive are you?

You can be attributed to sensitive techniques, if you agree with most of the following statements:

• I feel deep and sophisticated emotions
• I have a strong desire to "exceed expectations" in all aspects of my life
• I have an inner critic that works without days off
• I am kind, compassionate and sympathize with others
• I often put the needs of other people above your own
• I easily give in stress
• I can't "disable" the mind, because it is constantly filled with thoughts
• I am experiencing strong emotional reactions
• I feel worried when I find out the surprise or I know what you watch or evaluate me
• I adhere to high standards and strictly condemn myself if I make mistakes
• I often be indecisive and freezing in indecision
• I accept feedback and criticism to heart

Sensitive hardships are hardly experiencing meetings, because:

• You sincerely like to listen to other people's ideas
• You prefer to observe and understand what is happening before expressing your opinion.
• You have a high sense of responsibility, so you show respect and subordinate to the leaders
• You are prone to restraint, which means that more sociable colleagues can dominate the discussion
• You are easily lost and you can donate under pressure.
• You are able to think deeply and see all sides of the situation that sometimes immerses you in over-deep reflections
• You are very sensitive and worried about what others think about you.

Strategies of confident speech at meetings

Fean and stupor during the next meeting is a terrible feeling. Take yourself in hand - it should not be. You can take everything under control and give up the habit of sitting silently.

Being in mind at work is very important if you want career promotion. You work a lot, and you have excellent ideas - so you must be more influential and you have deserved recognition.

I finally practicing a little, you will finally feel yourself in an integral member of the team (what are you already and so you are).

1. Take excitement

The hands are shaky. In the stomach is alder. You suddenly begin to doubt whether the client's name has written correctly on the agenda. This is common excitement on the eve of the meeting. This is a normal stress of anticipation when you think that the assembled will evaluate your intelligence or your contribution to work.

Psychologist from Stanford Kelly McGonyiga does not consider such a nervousness with a sign that you are inadequate or do not cope with the task. She proposes to make friends with his reaction to stress, rethink her and see it in it that you are willing to act and make a maximum effort.

It is also important to reduce the basic level of stimulation before the meeting. Ellison, a client, which I told you earlier, used the Square Breath technique to calm down.

2. Immerse yourself smoothly

There is a temptation to come right at the beginning of the meeting to show that you are in a hurry, or avoid awkward secular conversations. But the feeling of a rush or lack of time will only aggravate the existing stress that you are experiencing.

Instead, build a buffer: Schedule the immersion in the meeting until it starts. Let yourself get used to the hall. If this is a virtual teleconference, in advance of the webinar controls in advance, configure the microphone and webcam.

As colleagues appear, talk with one or two of them, which is useful in general and helps reduce tension. It is also necessary to say the introductory speech at the beginning of the meeting, and then the conversation will go to the agenda. This will help reduce anxiety and make communication more organic.

3. Speak as soon as possible

It happened to you that you came to a meeting with ideas and a plan of what you want to say, and then went, realizing that all the time was silent? Silence provides you with a bear service. The longer the meeting lasts, it usually becomes harder to join the conversation. The longer you expect, the stronger your concern is growing.

Often, growth happens due to discomfort, so forced yourself to speak as early as possible. Put yourself a simple task: say something in the first 10-15 minutes - to greet the participants, formulate the main idea, ask a question or express an opinion on a new business sentence. This is a sure way to stay overboard the discussion.

4. Use your strengths

It is not necessary to be the loud man at the meeting. Even quietly speaking sensitive employees can influence, supporting a comment of colleagues Simple phrase: "Great idea! I think it actually worked. "

You can also concentrate on setting important questions. Sensitive employees are very observational, which tells them the sharp questions that have not yet come to the colleagues.

Another effective way to strengthen the impact even after the meeting is completed - send an email to the boss, in which you summarize important raised questions or, even better, offer a new project resulting from discussion. You will earn a reputation as a person who benefits, and you are more likely to remember when a question arises. More importantly, you will find self-confidence.

That is what Ellison did in the first week after the start of work. Armed with new tools and courage, which she acquired thanks to the coaching, she could soon say: "I am proud of how confident and competent consider me my new colleagues. But, most importantly, I appreciate myself. "

5. Be the first to come to act

Did the idea that requires additional research arose during the meeting? Do it for the next meeting. It will show your initiative and interest. And this allows you to push yourself to the desired behavior. You have committed itself - now you will have more motivation.

6. Challenge your beliefs

The leadership instincts of many people may not develop properly in childhood, and subconscious uncertainty can leak into our behavior during performances. How to overcome outdated scenarios that prevent you from feeling confident? You need to deeply comprehend your ideas about self-esteem and speeches.

What did you hear in childhood about people who stand out among the others? Do your parents, teachers and community said that you can be who you want, or have you been learning that "people do not like anxious"?

If you are empty or imagined negative feedback about your ideas, think about what you may come back to immaturity again when your self-esteem depended on the opinions of other (especially authoritative) people.

When you have something to say, but you notice the internal doubts, thank your inner criticism for trying to do my job and protect you. Fear can signal that you say something important. Use the moment. Stop playing in fine. Remember that you take your place because you are qualified, effective and important.

Sensitive hardships can suggest others. It's time to tell about it to everyone.