Collect myths
Many believe that people do not quarrel in a strong loving family. Only those who do not respect each other with each other who does not respect each other and is incomprehensible in general why these people were together. Therefore, quarrels should be avoided at any cost.
Of course, it is not. Do not conflict with each other only statues in the museum, and living people - with their thoughts, desires, habits, mood, well-being, fatigue and even a bunch of all periodically argue, quarrel and it is completely normal.
On the contrary - if people have never even argue together for many years of living together, it is alarming and causes the question - do they have anything to each other?
Another popular view suggests that the child does not have to witness the parent conflict. With a child, we smile at each other and hold a truce, and later, we find out the relationship behind the closed doors.
Of course, the conflict conflict is dispersed, and talking about what can better divorce, or a dishonor with mutual insults and beating the dishes is better not to see and not hear (about the first child it is worth saying only when everything has already been solved, but to the second It is better not to descend at all, nor with children, no without them). But in a small family conflict there is nothing criminal. On the contrary, it can even be useful. After all, how to learn how to learn how to go out of conflict situations, if he won't see this on the example of his parents?
And seek behind closed doors and stretched smiles and conversations through the teeth with a child only frightened and puzzled him. He will feel that something is wrong, but it will not be able to understand what it is, so it will be worried about, thinking and, perhaps, to blame in what is happening.
Observe the rulesThe quarrel is an emotional business. When the insult is overwhelmed when I want to prove my correctness and it seems that the partner does not understand the obvious things, it is very difficult to keep yourself within the rules. But that the conflict does not come out of the banks, it is necessary to do this. Especially - if everything happens when child.
Do not involve a child's conflictThis is the most important and immutable rule. If it happened that the child witnessed your quarrel, he should never move into the status of the participant.
You can not make a child a judge and ask who is right - dad or mom. This is shifting responsibility. The child can not and should not solve such things. This is prohibited reception!
You can not use a child as a messenger when you decided to stop talking to my husband. "Tell dad that I was offended by him!", "The child can perceive this enthusiasm assignment, because it will allow him to feel its own importance. But not only that this is an ugly and unrelated act, it is also too much cargo for a child who will feel the link between parents.
Also, it is also categorically impossible to customize children against the second parent, complain about him. It is offended by her husband, and the child loves you the same.
During a conflict situation with a partner, avoid offensive and estimated words. In addition to the fact that it is a bad example for a child, imagine how a shame for him will hear the rude words facing people he loves.
The child should not become the subject of conflictQuestions that relate to the child is better to decide when he does not hear. And all these "here, this your upbringing is affected!", "And I said that it was not necessary to allow you to watch cartoons" and other will lead to the loss of parental authority.
After a quarrel must come reconciliationIf the child witnessed the conflict, then the way out of it should happen in his eyes. That is how he will be able to understand that the conflicts themselves are not terrible that the quarrel can be civilized and does not affect the relationship in general. If it happened that you started quarrel with a child, and finished without it, be sure to return to it after, tell me that the conflict has been exhausted that you understood each other, and everything is fine.
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