And in life, too, such people are? Which seem to be evil, and in fact - unfortunate ...
Read with the son of a pretty book "Vanderbikers from 141 Streets". She about how a family with five children loved her home very much and was happy in him. But the owner from whom they rented this house, Mr. Biderman, was so sullen, unlikely, who did not react to the requests of parents and surprises of children who tried to melt his heart, and demanded that they leave home, and in Christmas . Through the plot, it turns out that everything is not so unequivocally: it turns out that Mr. Biderman himself survived the tragedy - he lost his wife and daughter - and since then it reacts so sharply to someone else's happiness, on other people's children.
The story ends with Happy Endom: Vanderbikers find a common language with Mr. Biderman and stay in a favorite house.
The son says: "Mom, you know, I first very angry with this Mr. Biderman, and then I even feel sorry for me ... And in life, too, such people are there? Who seem evil, but in fact - unfortunate."
And we disassembled different examples and came to the fact that most often we radiate "into the atmosphere" what is filled themselves. If we have a lot of love and good, energy and optimism, then the space around is filled with light, and they say about such: "entered the room, and as if the sun has shone." If we have a lot of personal problems, negative installations, offend, envy, disappointments, what can we share with the world? .. About such people they also say "toxic" and after communication with them the feeling that they sucked all the energy, and you need to come to Himself.
- Mom, I'm listening to you and understand that it is difficult for me to communicate with N. She always says that nothing will happen that the ideas are bad that the games are not interesting that we will distort and do not even try - although we do not do anything bad ! But her mother scolds for everything, and she is afraid of her all the time. At the same time, she believes that I am her best friend.
- Do you consider it your best friend?
- No, my best friend Z.
- Then no one can make you be friends with N, if you are bad and difficult to you.
- Mom, and N bad?
- Not always people are extremely bad or crystal good - as in history with Biderman. There are those who are close to you, and those who are not. N May be wonderful, but if you feel bad with her, it is not interesting, it is difficult, then you just do not on the way, and you choose yourself with whom you will be fine.
Then the son asked me, and I brought examples from life when I was on the way with someone, but there is no one. Someone became close and expensive for years, someone - passed on tangential and dissolved in the past without a trace. Were it "bad" or "good" people? Rather, just "mine" or "not mine."
Such a useful conversation was born from a discussion of a fairly simple book. To give yourself permission to be with those with whom I like and want, and not to be with those who are difficult and hard, - in my opinion, one of the most important defining things in the life of things.