In the Kirov region, as in Russia as a whole, the problem of domestic violence costs rather acutely, but they are not widely talking about it. Only officially in the region they initiate hundreds of criminal cases against home tyranans, in fact they are even more. Most women - namely they become victims of violence more often - prefers to be silent and tolerate in the hope that everything will change. We tell how to recognize domestic violence and where to seek help.
"I drank - and a completely different person"
In most cases, women and children become victims of violence. Men are less likely to help, even anonymously, simply because this is not accepted in society.
Kirovchanka Marina (the name is changed - approx. Ed.) Lived with the aggressor for five years, but they were not married. The first signs of aggression towards themselves, Marina began to notice three years of living together.
- He became aggressive only after drinking, and the change was very sharp. Drills two bottles of beer - and as if a completely different person. At some point I started thinking that he had a split personality. Well, it is impossible to change so sharply, "Kirovchanka told.
After alcohol on any remark, a man answered sharply, and at some point he began to spread his hands: he could rushing, for example, to give a purse. According to Marina, the peak of aggression occurred during their first joint travel abroad.
- We drank a little and quarreled. He walked and hit me with two hands on the ears. I remember how crawled around the wall, and then I flew to a ringing such a snatch. I began to roar, shouting something about that he did not touch me, and he was even more angry with it. At some point I darkened in my eyes, I absolutely did not give the report to my actions, there were only some glimpses of consciousness. I just started waving my hands in response, and eventually broke my hand about him, "the Kirovka explained.
After this incident, the cohabitant turned to her very carefully and constantly apologized for the failed rest. But in general, his behavior has not changed. Marina recalls constant moral humiliation: the words that she is a bad mistress, tastefully prepares and no one needs.
Only the top of the iceberg
The director of the Center for Social and Psychological Assistance Nina Yershova notes that the problem of domestic violence is based on the principle of iceberg - only a very small part is in sight. Basically, these are cases of violence with excessive cruelty, which society becomes known, or circulation of victims to a psychotherapist. However, in the "underwater part", according to a psychologist, there is a whole array of different bullying, insults, psychological, physical, sexual and economic violence.
- Not everyone realizes that any coercion, encroachment to freedom of life, physical and psychological integrity is violence. Insulting and humiliation of dignity is psychological violence. If closed at home, took the phone and all means of communication and said "wait for me", it is also violence. And it does not matter, from what motives it is done, "Nina Yershova notes.
The expert is confident that violence is cyclical, and if it happened once, it will definitely repeat. After aggression, the "honey period" comes, which forces the victim to doubt what has happened. Then the relationship is normalized - and again violence. At the same time, the periods of aggression become longer and frequent, and the "honey period", on the contrary, is reduced.
Why arises aggression in society?
Nina Yershova notes that aggression in society is formed by economic and political regulations. For example, the husband became unemployed, and the wife requires money to the content of the family. From the impossibility of changing the situation, a man will take out aggression on those who are nearby on children, on his wife or the one who is weaker.
It affects the situation and media in which the news feed is more often reminded by criminal reports. It seems that once the violence is written and it is so common, then this is normal, said Ershov.
Cinema, according to a psychologist, also contributes to the case. Nina Yershova divides films into two types: "The so-called TV series about love" and detectives about police officers, full scenes of violence. In the serials of love, too, there is violence: economic or psychological, but it is hidden behind the picture of a happy, rich life.
Chat Bot to help victims of violence
Society as a whole tolerant refers to domestic violence. When in the next apartment is noise and scandal, not everyone goes to understand. According to Nina Yershova, it is associated with cultural stereotypes. For example, it is believed that the husband is yes the wife is one Satan and that it does not happen inside the family, it does not concern. On the other hand, this is the experience of people. For example, the neighbors called the police, her husband was fined. Then the spouses were reconciled, and the guilty were neighbors, since the penalty had to pay from the family budget.
Often, the sacrifices themselves do not pay for help from fear for loved ones, for children, from shame that it generally happened to them, from a sense of guilt. Therefore, many about their misfortune tell anonymously in social networks. These appeals have become an object of study for scientists from Vyatga and Tomsk University.
This work and awareness of the scale of the problem pushed the center of socio-psychological assistance to the creation of the Lada Chat Bot. The service is developed with the support of the Potanin Foundation. While it is launched in test mode. The service accepts anonymous messages about violence and sends information materials and contacts of specialists to whom you can seek help.
- The question remains what to do next: continue to live together or solve the problem differently. It is impossible to change the behavior of another person, we can only change ourselves, our attitude to the situation, and the consultation of a psychologist, psychotherapist helps in this, "Nina Yershova notes.
The psychologist notices that Chat Bot is only the first step in solving the problem. He plays a informing role, but only a specialist can provide real help.
Crime and Punishment
In 2016, when the law on the decriminalization of the beatings was adopted, most of these offenses in the family went into the discharge of administrative and fell under Article 6.1.1 of the Administrative Code of the Russian Federation.
- Every year on this article we make about 3 thousand protocols in relation to persons who first inflicted beatings, that is, they caused physical pain without consequences. This may be not only a family-household conflict, but also the conflict between familiar, neighbors, passers-by, - noted the head of the department of activity of the district authorized police of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Kirov region, Mikhail Koochilov.
For re-appreciation of the beatings during the year, criminal liability under Art. 116.1 of the Criminal Code. However, the punishment on it is quite soft - a fine of up to 40 thousand rubles, mandatory work up to 240 hours, correctional work to six months or arrest to 3 months.
Compared with real appeals to the police, latent (hidden - ed.) Crime in the family-household sphere is 3-6 times more.
Marina never appealed to the police, according to the girl, she didn't even have a thought.
- Probably, I did not want to spoil his life with criminal articles, and indeed it is not humanly or something. We have a Russian mentality, apparently, she argues.
Marina tried many times from home tyrant, but he prayed every time for forgiveness and said that it would not happen more. Only five years later she found the strength to leave forever. Since then, almost 7 years have passed, Marina married, gave birth to two daughters.
- Someone does not declare someone tolerate. Women, as a rule, believe that she hit once - forgive, maybe it will no longer happen again, "says Mikhail Koochilov. - If the woman appealed to the medical organization, the information to us will come, we will find out about it. But if she said, he hit at work, accidentally inflicted his bodily injuries, and the doctor believes that this could be a non-for-way case, then we do not see these facts. Here, the role of precinct and inspectors of the PDN - to detect it, talk to the victim, with neighbors, somewhere visually see bodily injuries in the field of face, hands, shoulders. Then we initiatively conduct an inspection.
As Mikhail Skchilov explained, Art. 116.1 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation is an article of private accusation, that is, if the victim does not want to attract a sympector, then the police cannot do anything. However, the cases in which children suffered, a special relationship, and in these cases the police have the right to arouse a criminal case without the desire of parents.
At the same time, even if the victim of violence appealed to the police and wrote a statement, it can give a refundable case, and there are quite a lot of such cases.
- Articles 116.1 ("beatings"), 117 ("torture") and 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation ("threat to the murder") are compounds with a double prevention. That is, they prevent the commission of more serious crimes - causing grievous harm to health and murder. We have the opportunity to prevent the crime at the stage of more or less minor bodily harm. Therefore, we offer the victim to write a reappointment within 10 days while there is a check that he wishes to attract the offender to justice and insists on this. If he does not want, he writes a counter statement about the reconciliation of the parties. Usually women are argued by their solution to the fact that they came down with her husband and forgive him, "says Mikhail Kochotov.
However, this practice applies only to criminal cases. With administrative offense, the offender will still be brought to justice. If there is a message about the beatings again, then the check is carried out under Article 117 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation ("torture"), that is, causing physical pain to the same person more than two times. In 2020, 274 such criminal cases were initiated, and 60 crimes were committed against children.
No pain - no case
Mikhail Jochelov. Photo: Umvd in the Kirov region
All those who have committed an offense in the field of family and domestic relations, including in cases that resolutions about the refusal are made for a year to account for family and household scandalists.
"Quarterly plot comes in this family, looking at the situation, says with the neighbors," Mikhail Schilokov explained. - Sometimes the neighbors know about the family more than close relatives who do not live with them. If in a year there are no applications, no violations, then remove from accounting. If the facts are, we consider, administrative or criminal this case, and for one another year we put on account.
All violations can be reported to the police. However, it is important to know that responsibility comes only if a person is experiencing physical pain.
- We are checking anyway. If a person experienced pain, then there is a violation. If not tested, then there is no composition and decides on the termination of production, "the clocked explained.
Police calls on Kirovska not to be silent if you are an eyewitness of violence, and special attention is paid to cases with children.
Photo: iStockPhoto.com, Pixabay.com