When I went to school, the parent meetings were the only true way to convey the necessary information to the parents, because there was no Internet, and the phone was not all. In the presence of modern means of communication, chats in messengers, as well as a secret ban on mentioning specific surnames of students, parent meetings turned into a relic of the past.
Starting from the kindergarten, I regularly attended the parent meetings, considering it with his own direct responsibility. Then there were no chat and social networks and many questions really demanded a personal presence. 3 years ago, when the son was in the 8th grade, I stopped walking on them and regret that I did not do it before. I want to share with the readers of Adme.ru, why accepted such a decision and what has changed since then. Spoiler: Nothing, except that the nerves have become stronger and more time appeared.
"Some girls look defiantly, and some of the boys regularly eats someone else's lunch"
Already in zero, progressive teachers avoided personal comments, and since 2006, when the Law "On Personal Data" was adopted, the trend took a massive character. Now the mom's moms can go to meetings freely, without catching the sympathetic views of other parents. At the same time, the meetings lost the main meaning. After all, parents are most important than all the successes of their own chad, and not the performance of the class as a whole. Thus, it is possible to learn about behavior or assessments of your child now only at a personal meeting with the teacher or for some kind of indirect features.
When my son was in the 8th grade, a teacher, having not called the names, said that some girls were too bright makeup and causing outfits, and some of the boys regularly eats someone else's lunch. Those 15 minutes that the teacher and parents of girls found out that, according to the administration, there is a causing appearance, moms and dad boys looked into the phones. The next 15 minutes, while the ephemeral thiefs of dinners were reported, the parents of girls were missing.
"Your children will not write verification work"
The phrases "you worst class" scare not only children in classrooms, but also parents at meetings. One teacher constantly inspired to us, parents: Your children will not write verification work, do not surrender exams, disregard, will not pass, they will not be paid, etc. Of course, everyone passed everything, they wrote and passed. But this teacher installation is to scare, and even more stronger - why does not disappear anywhere. Imagine how the template rupture would have happened at the parents, if suddenly, at the meeting, someone from the teachers said: "Yes, you can relax and do not worry, you have beautiful children, they will succeed."
"Parents quickly crashed to couples, one person will close his eyes and will fall, and the other is to catch it"
The first teacher of my son was in all respects a positive intelligent lady with an active life position. She spent thorough assembly, and before 9 pm, we rarely diverged. In addition to the orgivers, Natalia Ivanovna raised important pedagogical problems. For example, one boy told her that his houses were scolded for the top three. Battched half an hour Natalia Ivanovna reads a lecture on why it is impossible to do so, - with examples from life, recommendations of psychologists. It's fine, but why am I who does not scold a child for the troika, after a hard working day should listen to this lecture, instead of going home and pay attention to this very child? Sometimes Natalia Ivanovna was not limited to a lecture. Once she asked all parents to go out into the corridor and crash to the couple. Further one of the partners had to close the eyes and start falling back, and another needed to pick it up. So we worked on the confidence within the parent team. True, one mammy was not caught. Many things were still in 4 years of elementary school: we painted on the backs of each other, pumped out some kind of leaves and wrote letters to themselves at the age of our children. Perhaps all this would be very interesting, but in other conditions, with other people and at their own request.
Meetings on one day: school is comfortable, not very parents
Once early in the spring I was late for the meeting. The car had to put meters for 300 from school. While running in the dark on the melting snowdrifts, fell into some sort of puddle, knocked her legs. And all because "for universal convenience" the school decided to hold meetings in all classes in one day, now the cars of all parents of the school occupy a whole street. In addition, in some families there are 2-3 schoolchildren, and only a mom walks at the congregation, which physically cannot break into 3 classes. In general, this optimizative decision of the father's appearance at the meeting does not increase exactly.
"And tell me again how many cells retreat?"
When I still went to the congregation, their duration often increased Petrosyan's parents, as well as incomprehensible or very initiative moms and daddy. Some and the same questions in the 101st circle ("And tell me again, how many cells to retreat?"), Inappropriate jokes and "valuable offers" is an integral part of almost any assembly. And if in the chat you can rush all the uninteresting and unimportant, then at the meeting, be kind, sit and listen.
"How without colors? Well, you invented! "
When my son switched to a new school, there for many years all the questions have solved a small "transchamber" of active parents. How much money to spend on New Year's gifts, how to carry out extracurricular activities, etc. They solved, voicing at the meetings a ready-made verdict. When I once, inspired by an example from the Internet, offered instead of buying flowers on September 1 to spend money for charity, I was laughed. I realized that my tastes disagree with the preferences of the "ruling top", whether it is a choice of a leading holiday, a decoration of class or costumes to a concert. At the same time, I do not care all this, it is important to arrange a revolution and overthrow the parent committee.
"Class does not want to learn! Mathematics teacher complains about children "
Why is the situation when teachers complain to parents not on individual lodges and hooligans, but for a whole class, have become the norm in recent years. Although, coming to the meeting and stating: "Your children systematically do not fulfill their homework," the teacher is painted in its incompetence, because other teachers there are no such problems. Somehow at the meeting in the 6th grade, a new teacher of mathematics opens the door to class and declares: "Your children do not want to learn at all, no one has written the top three, you have to do something." All parents are puffed from indignation, but are silent, and here one dad mumbled quietly: "What to do what to do is to change the teachers." The teacher seems to have heard him, but I fully agree with him. I do not understand why from me, parent, require the fulfillment of teacher work, and I do not want to spend my time, listening to what, it turns out, bad all our children.
For 11 years I would spend 5.5 days of your life for school meetings
When the son was in the 8th grade, a parent meeting took place at the beginning of the school year. Discussed the upcoming school fair (I would like to add "vanity"). Our cool, according to your usual, pulled the parallel class. A year before that, one dad out of 8 "b", military, brought wild cuisine to the school stadium and welded the pilaf, which was in demand. We this year must lose the "Bashchki" nose. While active parents discussed, how to organize a mobile pizzeria at the school stadium, I tried to calculate how long a year I spend on these wonderful events in every sense. It turned out about 12 hours along with the road in both directions. That is, in 11 years I would spend 132 hours of my life it is not clear what. And I decided: everything is enough.
"And if all parents stop going to meetings?"
The next meeting, which was devoted to the celebration of the New Year, I decided not to walk. Evaluations I know and so, there are no problems with my son, if you need to sign something - will be sent with a child, important information will be written in the parent chat. My lack, it seems, no one noticed. We generally do not really - only half of parents come regularly. By the end of the year, the class teacher was unclean: "Why wasn't you at the meeting? You did not get sick? " I answer that no, I just do not see the point. And decomposed on the shelves why. "And if all parents stop going to meetings?" - asked the teacher. "Then, probably, you will stop spending them," I said. A week later I was called to the director. Unclear Woman of the Soviet hardening began to explain that this is my parental duty and, if I refuse to do it, the school will be forced to report it. Threats were empty - there is no such law that obliges parents to attend meetings. Therefore, there can be no sanctions for refusing. I politely explained the director, why I do not come to the congregation.
For these 3 years, I noticed that the atmosphere in the family has become much calmer. Previously, I nevertheless brought part of the negative home and sometimes I started to krest my son: "And Anna Mikhailovna says that you are not doing homework, and Svetlana Nikolaevna complains that there are in the lessons in the phone, etc." Yes, and in general, the mood after the assembly was not very: with many I do not agree, something is even outraged, but you can't affect anything, you still sit and think that I canceled the sake of this meeting with friends. Now this tension went out of our lives. All important information is a cool leader throws into the parent chat. If I need to talk with some particular teacher - I go to school. Money I translate to the map. For all this time, I never felt that I miss something important. At the same time, it should be noted, I do not refuse to communicate with other parents at all. My husband and I visiting concerts and "fun starts", on duty on school discos, we go to cool trips. Parental meetings, I believe, doomed and in the near future either will disappear at all, or go to the online format.