Cruel treatment in childhood can be viewed as a form of "captivity", long mockery when the child sees the ability to escape.
Posted by: Shahid Arab
Translation with abbreviations: Anna Skatitina, psychotherapist
"Complex injury places accounts all life. Many children who are subject to violence cling to the hope that the growing will bring them liberation. But the person who formed in the situation of forced control is poorly adapted to adulthood. The surviving after injury remains fundamental problems with trust, autonomy and initiative. The task of early growing through independence and proximity is facing serious difficulties in the formation of self-service, cognitive abilities and memory, identity and ability to form a stable relationship. They are still captives of their childhood; Trying to create a new life, they again meets the injury, "- Judith Herman," Trauma and Restoration: The consequences of violence - from domestic violence to political terror "
The survivors after complex injury are faced with a dilemma that few people can understand: they are forced to confront new stress factors, trying to simultaneously eliminate triggers from the past. To overcome these layers of injury, you need courage, support and time. The path to the healing of a person who survived a complex injury, which has several sources, multifaceted. The daily reality of a person with a complex injury is filled with small horrors embedded in larger cracks in the psychological war area, which is their psyche. The survivors after violence and other injuries face a double problem: they not only oppress them with their peers, but are also often oppressed by family members, authoritative individuals and other life circumstances. When violence is complemented by other microagressings or turbulent life events, the injury undoubtedly has a stronger impact. What happens when the child is mock and at school, and at home, where should be safe? What effects are preserved and remain far beyond childhood, when not only peers, but also parents terrorize the victim? What about the effects of chronic cruel violence - the form of bullying, which is happening for many years throughout the school life of the child, what is not short-term character?
The effects of bullying remain for life
When a person throughout his life was subjected to several cases of ill-treatment, including, among other things, bullying, emotional disregard or ill-treatment of parents, witnessed domestic violence and / or even sexual violence, starting from early childhood, the simultaneous impact of several factors literally rebuilds Brain, violating identity, self-esteem and interpersonal relationships.
According to Bessel Van der Rka, the injury makes the brain rebuild to cope with the dangers, and not remember today's activities. Survivors after injury, become programmed to test the all-consuming, all-permissive feeling of fear and helplessness. Bullying creates a serious social, emotional and academic threat to victims who face it; Victims of intimidation more often throw school, commit suicide, abuse psychoactive substances, fight anxiety and depression and have a low self-esteem.
If a child is abused without support from family members or reputable people, toxic stress in the child's life is aggravated and presents high risks to continue its early development. The child left by family members or the school administration in difficult circumstances is undoubtedly suffering more.
According to the Center for the Development of the Child at Harvard University, "without concern for adults who serve as a buffer for children, an inexorable stress caused by extreme poverty, neglect, cruel treatment or severe maternal depression, can weaken the functioning of a developing brain with long-term consequences for training, behavior, and also Physical and mental health. "
Complex injury and complex post-traumatic stress disorder
While a single injury is often associated with the development of post-traumatic stress disorder, complex injury can cause symptoms that go beyond the post-traumatic stress disorder - this may lead to complex post-traumatic stress. Judith Herman introduced the term "comprehensive post-traumatic stress disorder" for explaining what happens when a person is experiencing a long period of victimization and loss of freedom, usually experienced in situations such as long-term domestic violence, long sexual violence of children, camp for prisoners of war and organized Children's use companies. In addition to conventional symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorders, which include excessive vigilance, avoidance, dissociation, nightmares and memories, a person with a complex post-traumatic stress disorder also experiences problems with emotional regulation, consciousness, self-perception, distorted perception of actor violence and violations of interpersonal relations.
Cruel treatment in childhood can be viewed as a form of "captivity", long mockery when the child sees the ability to escape. According to the therapist-traumatologist of Pita Walker, multiple sources of injury can lead to an all-permissive feeling of toxic shame, brutal inner criticism and emotional memories that make the surviving "regression" back to the initial injury to the past. Although the complex PTSD is often associated with long sexual or physical violence, the Walker confirms that long-term emotional disregard and violence can also be a disorder factor. Indeed, many studies confirm that verbal and emotional violence can cause the same harm to the early developing brain, as well as physical violence (Teicher, 2006; Choi, 2009; Copeland, 2013).
Reproduction of injury: Range repeat cycle
Part of the complex PTSD is that the therapists call "coercion to repetition." In his book, the bonds of betrayal: liberation from the exploitative relationship "Patrick Karnes writes:" In part, the repetition of injury is an attempt to resolve the injury. Repeating experience, the victim re-trying to come up with a reactive way to get rid of fear. But instead, the victim simply deepens the traumatic wound. " It goes without saying that the number of injuries that a person is experiencing simultaneously will influence the strength of the repetition cycle of injuries. Injuries in combination with other injuries increase the overall risk of repeating injuries in adulthood.
It is not surprising that the study showed that children with whom their relatives and peers are poorly addressed, more often than children, with whom they are poorly addressed only at home, demonstrate serious problems with mental health at a later age. Because of the enormous impact of these injuries, as well as an emotional and psychological war, which often accompanies bullying, survived accustomed to the negative inner conversation, accuse itself in the ill-treatment they have undergone, and continue the vicious circle of ill-treatment.
They can fight shame, which should belong to their offenders, and develop non-adaptive ways to cope with them. These dezadapive mechanisms are attempts to experience the unbearable, overwhelming injury throughout their lives with destructive means that inevitably reproduce and enhance injury. Survived by integrated injury, can search for unsafe mechanisms for restoring control (for example, self-damage, malnutrition or overeating, drug abuse, etc.) in an attempt to survive in a difficult situation. Toxic shame arising from the injury and ill-treatment may result in such forms of behavior as maintaining insulting relationships, drug addiction, disorders of food behavior and reckless sexual behavior, to vain attempts to avoid injury and cause a "disconnection" in response to symptoms.
For example, the study "unfavorable childhood experience" showed that ill-treatment in childhood not only increases the risk of health problems, such as obesity, heart disease, cancer, stroke, but also increases the risk of alcoholism, depression, suicidal attempts, teenage pregnancy, STD , etc.
Reproduction of past injury is not a coincidence, but a consequence of the injury itself.
Social isolation, anxiety and destructive relationship
Another symptom of complex injury accompanied by bullying is an increased social anxiety and self-insulation as a form of self-defense; Hooligan's victims often refuse to occupy in school to avoid places where bullying took place. They may be afraid and not trust either their peers nor reputable persons, especially if they know that these people did nothing to protect them. This is an all-percent sense of distrust, unfortunately, does not make survivors immune to the repetition of these patterns in adult relations. When children's injury is constant and chronic, it becomes unbearable for the body and leaves the body in a constant state of high vigilance and increased excitement (Perry, 2000).
The betrayal on the part of close friends, family members or even partners can cause Patrick Karnes calls the "treacherous relationship" and psychological trauma. The bonds are injuries - these are bonds that develop between victims and their offenders; These bonds act as protective mechanisms that allow victims to survive in a restless and hostile medium.
I experienced bullying at home and schools can develop habits that cause the location of other people due to the fact that they had to walk in childhood as if on the eggshell. The conditions under which the survivors become deaf to emotional and psychological violence in adolescence, can also force them to look for partners and friends who remind them of their first rapists in adulthood.
When children are mocking over, become adults, they perceive emotional violence as a "familiar", a dangerous zone of comfort, which holds them in a trap of the repetition cycle injuries. That is why so many people who survived complex injury often blame themselves and continue to "intimidate" themselves with self-injunations, when they lead self-destructive behavior, not knowing that injury reproduction is often a symptom of their complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
Healing complex injury
Despite the complex nature of the suffered injury, there is hope for healing and self-reflection. The survivors after complex injury can refer to their subconscious, using various methods of healing, including traditional methods of therapy, EMDR, art therapy, hypnosis, sound therapy, meditation, yoga and other forms of working with the body that allow them to relax.
Healing methods should always be discussed with a certified trauma specialist to make sure that the survival takes into account its unique needs and triggers. The survivors can learn to grieve about the losses that they survived both in childhood and in adulthood, to comprehend all the emotions arising from the complex injury. They can learn to distance themselves from negative conversations with themselves and learn to "restore" their internal child with the help of complacency methods.
They can seek support using group therapy with other people who have experienced injuries, reliable friends or mentors, on forums about survived injury and online communities. What is most important, they can rewrite their stories about helplessness on the stories about the power and freedom of will.
About the author of Shahid Arab - a graduate of the Columbia University, where he studied the influence of violence over the life of victims. She is also the author of three bestsellers. You can find her blog about cruel handling and injuries in Self-Care Haven.