Those blessed times went into the past when the marginal spouses lived together to a deep old age, creating their family structure and growing grandchildren and great-grandchildren to glory. Increasingly, the current men and women, having enclosed the union, after a while they are disappointed in each other, they felt feelings and quickly bred.
Someone remains alone for many years, and someone else often will have to go into the center of the decorated hall under hand with a new satellite of life, smiling happily in front of the cameras.
Are you wiser in the second, third marriage? Yes. But not all.
Cons of repeated marriages:1. The wedding ritual seems like a simple formality, because it does not guarantee the strength of marriage. A woman from superstition also strives for the dress, and other external attributes differed from the first ceremony. The celebration passes more modest and does not cause the former storm of delight.
2. If the first marriage was unhappy, painful, brought a lot of grief, and a man, and a woman fear re-be in a similar situation and "step on the same rake." There may be mutual cavity, distrust, suspicion. What does it say? Someone one or both are not ready for new relationships. We need to wait, deal with your past, consider mistakes, understand yourself.
3. Compare habit. Moreover, if both of the current spouse are connected with a repeated marriage, the comparison comes on both sides. If one of them is stronger, smarter, more confident in yourself, then on its part of the comparison it does not occur - new relationships are built, the foundation of which is the beliefs of the dominant side.
The social inequality of the former and current spouse / spouse takes the situation. I will give an example (consultative case). A man of 52 years old, widower, entered into a re-marriage in vast love. The current his wife is a creative person with two humanitarian formations, cheerful, live, with a sense of humor.
The late spouse was the daughter of a collective farmer, was distinguished by the gloomy severity of the wrongness, it was obsessed with the order, in the morning until late night did not part with a mop and a rag, scolded her husband on what the light stands (only it is not clear why). However, the poor fellow got used to such a life line and in the first months of the new marriage compared its city beauty with the previous housewife.
The case could end up with a divorce (a new wife, this comparison was outraged and gradually intensified dislike for her husband), but they fell on time to the reception to the psychotherapist, and the situation was fixed dramatically. For 6 years, these people have been happy for 6 years, and memories or even hints for her old life with the "lady in rubber boots" cause a man's obvious disgust.
4. The presence of children from the first marriage makes it difficult to build new family relations if children are not properly prepared.
5. Rejection by relatives of one or both spouses of the new partner of the Son or daughter (if the first marriage seemed to them). It must be ignored. Without quarrels and mutual insults. Give understand by an annoying nurse that they are better to reconcile with the choice.
Pluses of repeated marriages:1. People who conclude the marriage union re-already know what they are going. They repeatedly rethink their behavior in the first marriage, change its non-adaptive stereotypes, corrected previous errors.
2. The behavior of both spouses becomes more flexible, reactions to irritating factors - less emotional. After all, youthful maximalism is already behind.
3. A man and woman who suffered a re-marriage, as a rule, was already in a professional plan. They are simply improving as individuals as specialists in their own business. They do not need to worry about how their future life will be in the profession. There is an opportunity to pay time to the development of relationships.
4. They are financially independent. And this gives all the other types of independence, makes a couple free from other affairs.
5. Sexual experience (of course, this applies, above all, his wife) makes an intimate life in a new marriage more versatile and attractive.
Often the second marriage is harmonious, stable and stronger than the first. Appreciate your mature relationships, do not let in your world of outsiders, enjoy happiness in full!
Author - Oksana Arkadyevna Filatova
Source - Springzhizni.ru.