I live almost on Goa. Here the clock is smelled by Garam Masal and aromatic chopsticks, sell wonderful beads for the dollar and treat the impotence by the power of stones. The local population categorically refuses to understand the Russian language, but just knows the sense in the incenses and perversions. And the rumor about it has long passed throughout Russia, bypassing only me.
"I will come to you when I go buy everything for hookah!" - Reports a colleague.
"I have an curry end, so I have on the weekend!" - Film his girlfriend.
"Daria, I saw there jade phallus, you can go and clarify: is it still sold? - Strictly asks a friend. And just in case, clarifies: - I want to put in the bathroom to put for the gangster force, just did the repair. "
After that describes in detail: the desired phallus is sold on the sixth floor, in the eighth kiosk on the right side, the counter exactly opposite the door ... Do not confuse! Another phallus does not offer.
I look out the window: there is exactly Moscow, and not the Arab night, the magic east? .. Not a fact, not a fact!
So think my friends.
I live in a terrible chinatown, where life turns into "hungry games". Well, because in Moscow it is so accepted - if you are not fighting with a demolition or construction in your area, with a dry cleaning for marginal or with a paid parking, you seem to be not a real Muscovite ... For a real Muscovite life - a struggle! Therefore, in our yard, too, there is a head of the smell of struggle: demolish! Sharpe! Start!
We do not live, but survive. The child here is terribly released on the playground: there you will definitely see if not a drug addict, then the syringe forgotten. Each morning, the aroma flashes all known substances to all known substances with a vanitary-cinnate smell of buns from the neighboring bakery. And when late in the evening, you will return home, the rat will come to the sizes with the Baskervili dog. At five in the morning, the freight cars will begin under the windows (the devil knows how they break through the barrier!), And six to your ears will be coming chanting in a strange language. People are ready to sell apartments and leave - in Moscow, to aunt, in the wilderness, in Tinao! - If only not to see it.
So my neighbors think.
I live in a very, very problem point where it urgently needs to solve something. Numerous appeals of residents cannot be left without attention, and soon the power must come up with something. For example, to surround the house around the perimeter by the fence and put the castle that will open the fingerprint. To demand that Rospotrebnadzor immediately intervened. And even better and easier to demolish all unnecessary and build a real modern shopping center on the site of the old-fashioned market with a fitness club and Fudcourt. Just such, which Muscovites really like to see at every step. And it will definitely be done as soon as our appeal to the President of Russia will respond to the GBU "Housing" of Zyuzino district, one wand and nine holes will win a whole army and throws a thrush three times. But not too fast - it is a pity that everything is enough to lose such a good place, where every year you can shoot excellent campaigns and argue about how much Moscow is strongly.
So thinking local policies.
Where do I really live? In a good house two steps from the subway, and my windows overlook the hulls of Sevastopol. Multi-storey gray boxes, late modernism, 1980s legacy. And the Orient Bazar is still known to the whole Moscow. I was there exactly twice: immediately after moving to this area - because it was interesting! - And then after almost ten years, when it took to buy a girlfriend, jade balls for developing a hand after injury (without buying a phallus, it still cost). I live, God do not know.
And I never found out that under the window I have - a battlefield, if not my neighbors, my friends and candidates for deputies. They also enlightened an unconscious Muscovite: the hotel is Alpha and Omega (oh no, sorry, the Greek alphabet must be sought in Izmailovo!) All the passions of our neighborhood. It's all without parsing with it. She was recognized as responsible for everything, which was and was not to blame the area of Zyuzino.
Seriously? Maybe I just get home late and so I do not see horrors? And children who would find syringes in the sandbox, I do not have. Yes, there are some people in the court on the courtyor, some people in Chalms, but also damn them ... but no - the neighbor's brotherhood does not tolerate.
From which it all began: by 1980, the Moscow Olympiad, built typical buildings - the future hotel. By the way, with this role, she coped even three decades later: during the World Cup in 2018, foreign fans were found there, for some reason, the mexicans are mostly settled ...
But the fact that this is still a hotel, a few remember. "Sevastopol" was privatized in 1994, and at the same time it was possible to deploy the best that could be deployed in the 1990s - market! In addition, according to Zyuzinsky Old-timers, since 1989, refugees from Afghanistan began to be destroyed in the walls of the hotel, which became more and more ... so all together and started trading. So our market, strictly speaking, not quite indian. He is Afghan, a little Pakistani, they say that still Kashmir ... but known to all of Moscow.
Yes, really the market. Located in former hotel rooms, a corridor system. To do this, we need a refinement: the fifth floor, the third door on the left, not to confuse! What are sold? Nothing from what I would need, but a lot of things for what people come from all over Moscow. Aromatic sticks, for example. Cuts of fabric for real Indian sari or even ready already sharovars. Beads from stones (they say that good and natural, believe) and stones in the assortment of the Rosych. Well, a lot of all slag like plastic and strollery earrings, which even eight-graders awkwardly offer. Yes, and still a variety of tobacco, coal for hookahs and hookahs themselves - for what and the pilgrims come from all over Moscow - and also Indian spices for Tikka Masala, Panir, Biriani and other colorful dishes. Spices, by the way, really good. And I do not smoke hookah.
Claims of neighbors, however, are quite simple. People really interfere with the noise that creates cars during the unloading-loading of goods - this is first. People are trying to find out who still own containers from the fence near the playground and that they are stored - this is second. People are tormented by vague doubts: whether they do not sell in tobacco kiosks something that in most countries (the Netherlands does not count!) In hookahs and self-taught, it is prohibited forbidden - it is third. And a large number of merchants of non-Slavic appearance are also confused by many - this is, perhaps, the general problem: where is not "Sevastopol", there True "Moscow" or "gardener" ... the people are indigrant. And buyers like it.
That's for sure - like. At least three times a week on the approaches to the subway "Sevastopol" I surely stop the next unfamiliar passerby with a simple, natural question: "How to get to the hotel" Sevastopol "?" Demand is - there will be a sentence.
Photo: Andrey Stenin / Mia "Russia Today", Igor Stomakhin