Conflicts between parents and adolescents are increasingly containing among claims from children with a tactless presentation by their parents in social networks ...
We are a unique generation of parents. We still manage the public life of their children, but today we have such opportunities much more than before, and at the position of the "Hollywood Child", which we read so much horror, today a child may be far from the acting profession.
Conflicts between parents and adolescents are increasingly containing among the claims from children the tactless presentation by their parents in social networks. In the countries of Europe and the United States, grown children are even submitted to the court.
It is unlikely that each of the moms and dads, posted a dozen or hundreds of photographs of Chad on the Internet, threatens with a tale. But it seems that social networks put us before new issues regarding the observance of tacty, conservation of privacy and just good relationships with the child.
Many parents make a choice in the direction of refusing to publish photos of their children (and texts about them), except for their presence on common family photographs. But the presence in social networks has become such part of everyday life and for adults, and for children that the needy daughters and sons sometimes ask the question: if I was so important for you, why did you imagine your life as if I was almost not?
Moreover, completely close the children from social networks - so that for them the question of how they are represented in the blogs blogs did not get up at all. Children watch other people's accounts and get their own in schools on the extension, for walks and away, using the gadgets of other children. Sometimes they secretly take the phones of their parents, climb on the Internet from parent computers. In general, the chances that the child will not see his photos in the passing of mom or dad, is not enough.
After talking with his daughter, stepdaughter, familiar girls, I noted for myself several rules that could be taken for yourself, laying out photos in social networks.
1. If the child already knows about social networks, ask for its list of unacceptable in public photos.
For example, one of my steppers indicated that her photo could not be published if their clothes were in some unrest. If I believe that watercolor spots or traces of falling her image do not humiliate, I have to offer her a photo for a discussion. And, of course, the photo with incorrectly fastened, broken, knocked out clothes should not be accompanied by "asked" comments that reinforce the degrading effect. (In his excuse, I can say that I did not post such photos of the stepdaughter, but it's good that we said it). Other children do not like when they show the photo where they cry or where the limb is blurred from their movement. In general, the list will have their own.
2. Always remember that the child looks at the response of peers.
This is for you and your parent mug. Joking photo of a child in the image from the film "Pretty Woman" with the corresponding quotes - a funny joke combined with nostalgia on the old movie. For a child whose peers will find that the image and quotes are sent to the heroine-prostitute, this joke can turn into a catastrophe. For the same reason, the growing children do not like the pictures where they are kids with balls depict a female breast or pregnancy under a t-shirt, where a joint photo with other children is accompanied by a conventional romantic dialogue (pure for a joke), and the like. For any reference to the sexual or romantic life of adults in children's photos, children can get a lot of ridicule from their comrades. The same applies to funny photos with the ruin of babies of garbage vestors or pictures during meetings on pots and toilet bowls.
3. It is worth solving for yourself how often you will post pictures of children, and why.
Perhaps once a week - enough so that the child does not perceive himself "absent", "unimportant" in the life of the parent, and not so often that this is disturbed by the privacy of the child. Focus on how often they write at all, and when the child is growing up - and on his opinion.
4. Do not take from its account, closed or open, photo without demand.
The goal of the child's blog and his audience may differ from yours. When a girl or boy lay out a strong emotional moment in an account, which grandparents read, grandfathers and cousins, for memory, it does not mean that they are ready to see their photos discussed dozens or hundreds of people, and even without warning. This photo can be very intimate in their experiences, or unsuccessful aesthetically (and therefore existing for memories, not for publicity). Finally, children when they take pictures made by them without demand, perceive it as painfully as if they took their things.
5. Remove the first request!
Even if the child has already agreed to publish a photo, but changed his mind - there is no need to make him worry and spoil your relationship. Delete - it means to delete. From public space, at least.
6. Sports achievements and steep travel moments like almost everyone.
It doesn't matter where the child made a spectacular jump, at the stadium or playground. If he looks almost like a movie, there are practically no children who would be against his publication. The same with riding a camel or acquaintance with ostrich. But rules 1 and 5 does not cancel.
7. The most important thing is if the child did not want to be photographed, I did not want.
Sometimes the question of entering the photo in the social network disappears by itself at the stage of guidance on the child's child. He dodges, requires not to shoot? Lower the lens. Let the child sees your face instead.