For a long time, the existence of humanity taken from parents skills was necessary for the survival of the subsequent generation. Learning to hunt, cultivate the earth, building a dwelling - all this was the key to continuing. At the same time, other things were transmitted: various kinds of rites, beliefs and ways of behavior in one way or another.
Today, the need to adopt the skills of physical survival, but in each family there are various installations and pattern patterns that are persistently transmitted from generation to generation. This system of values is called in psychology by family scenario.
By and large there is nothing wrong with them - until these scenarios begin to contradict the system of values of the human itself or common sense.
"I don't have any scenarios!" - Many can say, but it is worth considering their lives more closely, and surely there are those things that a person does, because the parents did so, so it was always done in the family (ranging from the cake's prescription, ending with the issues of raising children).
Scripts may affect absolutely any sphere of life:
Management of economy
We always have to prepare a woman, mandatory cleaning on Saturdays, in the house should always be food about the reserve, the housekeeper is only in lazy.
Education and profession
Without higher education, they will disappear, the profession needs to choose a prestigious, and not the one that you like, it is necessary to learn well, otherwise you will not achieve anything in life.
Finance
Big money - extra problems, rich all the crooks (or vice versa), buy with discounts shame.
Family hierarchy
The word of the father in the family is the law, all the best children, as mom decides, will be.
Attitude towards marriage
It is impossible to divorce (in women - one with children will disappear; men - should grow children) or inverse history: problems began in relationships - go away, you will find a normal partner.
Thanks to scenarios, people find partners similar to their parents reproduce the same relationships in their own families as they were in the parent family.
There is also an inverse situation when a person, with childhood, chooses the opposite behavior - counterratescenarial. However, this does not mean that it is free. He also builds his life with a constant loaf of a bad pattern, trying not to repeat it, that is, too, depending on the script.
It is conflicts in scenarios of spouses or simply their discrepancy (it is customary to call it different views on life) often become the causes of family conflicts.
It is impossible to say that the script is always bad, there are also those that really carry true values. But if you copy the behavior that prevents you from building a happy life or simply outdated and does not fit under modern reality, then it's time to pay attention to the adopted behavior.
The first and most important part of the work with scenarios - see them and realize. It is often not easy to do it yourself, it will be necessary to help a specialist. It is necessary to analyze its behavior and see what situations it no longer brings results, but constantly repeats. It is useful to study your family in the nearest generations.
A good way of this study is, for example, making the geneogram (graphic image of a family at least in 3 generations). The goal is to find those family members who behave the same way, and if possible, analyze why this behavior was optimal for them.
For example, you noticed that it is difficult for you to build relationships with men. Sooner or later, the moment comes when you think: "Why do I need these relationships in general, I myself do not know well with everyone."
Mom's life analyze and understand that she also coped with everything herself, and at best, she always had a "choping father", and at worst - men did not delay in her life at all.
Very often for such a story, the hard fate of the great-grandmothers, which in the war remained with children without men. Nothing remained, how to collect will be in a fist and cope with everything yourself. There was no other way out. And this scenario is transmitted "women on horseback in burning outbreaks" from generation to generation.
Only life changed, the circumstances changed, and in this scenario there is no longer any need, and few people think that it reproduces the history of the ancestors.
And there are weights of such examples: the descendants of the detachable do not know how to postpone the money, the descendants of the workers live with confidence that it is possible to earn only difficult labor, those who in the nature of the woman have suffered from the hopelessness of her tyrants, live with absuses, without seeing the opportunity to leave the relationship.
If you managed to see a repeating scenario, consider that you did most of the work. Next, it is necessary to separate yourself from this story. To see that from this scenario still remains necessary, from which you protect with it or what problems it helps to solve.
It is further important to understand that the relevance of the recurring pattern has lost and prevents you. Solve for yourself what part of the script you want to continue to implement in your life. What can you replace a biased pattern. What behavior must learn or what skills need to be developed.
Working with script requires time. Do not expect quick results - this behavior worked for dozens of years or not even one century. Change it in a couple of days will not work. But if you put yourself a specific goal and move to her, then you will be able to separate from outdated history and start living your own life.