You have released a new cartoon "Pie for Mom" dedicated to healthy diet. How do you choose the themes for cartoons? What will be the next one?
Topics for cartoons We choose, reading the social network. On the Internet now there are many conversations about how to educate children, which is important in education and what conflict between the traditional, habitual for us post-Soviet education and new upbringing. And seeing the most problem points, we choose the themes for cartoons.
The cartoon "Pie for Mom" offered to make Masha Kardakov, author of the Mary's Recipes app and books "first soup, then dessert." It was her idea - to make a cartoon on the topic of healthy eating, she helped to collect money on him. I myself came across the problem of unhealthy attitude towards food and only recently got rid of this problem. I see how tragic this process takes place in many families, so it seemed to me that it would correctly touch this topic, although it does not seem so catastrophically acute, as, for example, attitude towards children with disabilities.
Then we want to create two cartoons in parallel. One thing about how to cope with your own anger, and the second is that the boys can also cry. It seems to me that it is very important for boys. Especially in Russia and the countries of the post-Soviet space.
Not. I am ready to take on any topic. For some topics I do not take, because the Russian market is not ready for them, and the cartoon will be perceived painfully. For example, the theme of death. I am sure that no channel will release a cartoon on this topic. Although I believe that if the children were talked about death not after someone dear to them died, but in advance, the attitude to death would be formed at all in another way. In this case, it would not have to speak by the afterlife, to make felt fault, it would be a conversation about the natural process. And the cartoon could be done the same. As, for example, "Mystery Coco". He is about death, but he is cool and not terrible. But, unfortunately, this topic will not be popular. And there are many such tabulated topics in Russia.
What do you think art is books, cartoons, performances - must learn something child, be a kind of moral guideline?I would like yes. At least, so that there is no content, which would be a contrary to the universal principles. I see a lot of animated series with passive-aggressive vocabulary, faithful. I don't want to show such cartoons to your child. Because the child then rolls the eyes in the same way, smacks, pods all around. This is not about good. In this regard, the Soviet animation was very kind, honest and sincere. In something naive, but it is better than pronounced aggression. The same applies to books and performances. We always endure something out of art. That the child will bring out of the book, the cartoon, the performance will depend on what basic thought is laid in the work. It is very important that there are human values, humanity, empathy.
It is believed that in the modern world being a parent is very difficult. With us, unlike our parents and grandparents, there is no task to survive on which they left all the strength, so we have time to reflexion, work on yourself. But there are many internal injuries left by previous generations that are not easy to realize and cure. And many very different information about how to do. How in all this is not lost, find yourself and hear your child?It is very important to determine for yourself - what is my parent? Brothers and sisters from one family can become completely different parents. It is important to find this understanding, this inner rod. To do this, you need to answer most of your parents. For example, I give a child sugar or not? Why? And to remain faithful to this principle until I revise it. And when you take a look, honestly say about this to the child. "You know, I won research and realized that the demonization of sugar is not a completely healthy phenomenon. I did not really behave very much lately. Let's try differently? " So in all the rest. Do you punish a child or not? What is punishment? For my daughter, if I look at her strictly, it is already punishment. She says I do "terrible eyes." And for someone, drive the child into the room and make it sit there for a whole hour, because he was upset because of the broken tower, it is normal. For me, this is a completely unacceptable method - a child and so bad, and you forcing him alone to live not only your pain, but also offense at you. It seems to me that the most reflection gives us to understand how we must behave in every particular situation. These situations are an infinite amount, and all new ones are constantly appearing. But with each other child, something will become clearer. Or maybe you, on the contrary, have all a review. If you compare, as in our family, the first child was raised and how we bring up the fourth, this is the sky and the Earth.
Therefore, it is important to determine your reference points. And for this you need to read a lot and think: yeah, I'm on this side, I think about the same, this philosophy is close to me. For example, Alfi Kona, who wrote the book "Education with a heart." And someone listens to Petranovskaya and agrees with some kind of principles.
Regarding how to hear the child. It is important in any race - to school, in the garden, in sleep, lunch, dinner - stop and trying to hear what the child says. For me, recently the next discovery was that children have a very small vocabular, and often they simply cannot explain the complex concepts faced. That is, the child feels that in relation to it is incomprehensible, but to explain it, it cannot be expressed by words. And we, parents, if you do not get a clear answer, often begin to crush. At this point, we deprive the child of the chance to say, and yourself - to understand that he is experiencing and what happened at all. Therefore, instead of crushing, it is better to prompt, give some words that the child can take advantage to explain his thoughts and feelings.
It's hard to talk to the child, if you do not know how. Here can help literature. When we read a child some book, it usually sets a bunch of questions. Usually we are very quickly interrupted to continue reading. But if you make yourself stop and listen, you can find what the child says is much more important that you were going to read it.
Another way - start asking questions yourself. And why did this hero succeed like that? What would you do in his place? Yesterday we read "Roni, a robber daughter." Roni escaped from the house, and I asked her daughter: And what would you do if I ran away? And then there was a twenty-minute monologue about all sorts of escape options. I learned so much about my child! Provides, she is very adapted to life in the forest!
Such methods help to start a conversation and learn a lot of interesting things. I learned that my daughter would not steal food, because stealing is not good. She would have asked someone. And if I could not come out, she would have returned to her mother with dad, came up with them, and they would have lived long and happily. All this I was very interesting to hear from my own child. Therefore, books, cartoons, performances - an excellent option!
In the era of social networks, many parents lay out photos of their children, talk about them some stories, often personal. How not to break the borders of the child at the same time? How do you solve this question for yourself - do you often write about your children and show them?In fact, this is my internal conflict of interest. I practically stopped laying out a five-year-old daughter in the network. If I photographing it, then minimally - on the side, behind, hand, leg. Because she does not understand who sees her at the same time. She knows that Mom with someone talks there that there is some kind of world. She often speaks to the phone: "Hello, I'm peace, a girl from Amsterdam," without understanding who looks at her. For me, this is a deception - the child does not know, and I use it.
I still lay out the younger one-year-old daughter, because it seems to me that it cannot have some clear contradiction, but sometime will reach it.
When I share stories, I suffer every time the question: Do I have right or not. Perhaps she does not want, in ten years someone met her in the street and said: "I know how you once quarreled with my sister!" Therefore, I do not tell any particular painful moments.
It is much easier for me to lay out something about older children, because they can always say: "Don't! Take it! " But this happens extremely rarely.
Very difficult question for me. I do not know what these children will grow. Probably, it will be a more open world people than we. But from this and more vulnerable. I would really like to look at 10-15 years ahead and find out what they will be.
At what age can you allow the child to make your own accounts on social networks? And is it necessary to control it somehow? If so, how?It depends on each specific family. But while my children will not shake out this opportunity from me, I will not start accounting accounts. Probably when all the girlfriends will have their accounts, you will also have to start. But I will try to build a relationship so that I can read what is happening there, know who is added to friends. Because I know how dangerous it can be. We still know very little about security, and children are even less. I hope that by the time my younger children grow to their own accounts, there will be some clear and understandable safety rules on the Internet.
What do you think about the new ethics - experiments with gender, when a child considers himself then a boy, then the girl, when parents provide a choice? Where is the line between an adequate progressive look and Zashkvar?I do not agree with the very wording of the question. I constantly hear such conversations from Russia that the new ethics allows you to be a boy, then the girl. I do not know any such real story. The boy can feel like a girl, a girl boy. But that the child jumped here and here - no.
The fact that the child can feel like a man of another gender is a reality. This happens, but not because someone comes to school and says: Decide, are you boys or girls? This is a faction of the physiological system, very painful, first of all, for the child himself.
I read an interview with Natasha Maximova (Ukrainian artist who changed the floor - editor). She tells how for some reason it was forced to go to the men's dressing room, to shoot bows, they were not allowed to use the fan when she wanted. And at the end of the text you will know that in fact she was born a boy. And it feels pain.
I do not know what I would do in such a situation. I would probably have spent all possible expertise and read a lot to understand what to do next. Of course, allowing a five-year-old child to change the floor - this is probably incorrect. But such anywhere does not happen. I only hear the words that everything is brought to the absurdity, but it is not so.
But if my youngest daughter suddenly says that she does not want to grow hair and wear dresses, I will not make her do it. If she asks to call her Vanya, I will try to do it. I will not break her in any way. I am sure that this is either a passing period when a person is simply having fun or it is already changing the physiological level that is foolish to deny. Although take what you gave birth to a girl, and she says "I am a boy, my name is Vanya," it is hard.
You have many different projects, four children and popular instagram. Where do you take the resource to do everything and how do you get not burn out (if it turns out)?I spend a lot of time with myself. Senior learn, with younger from 9 am to 5 pm Nanny. Therefore, I have time to work and do what I want. I have a free schedule, so I during the day, if I want, I can go walk on the street, take a break from home and work. But even at the same time, I have no most healthy emotional state. We can say that I am on the verge of burnout, although I do not understand how I came to this. I love my job very much, my home, my family, but, apparently, the pandemic and different other factors led to some fatigue. What will I escape? I try to walk as much as possible, ride a bike and spend time with children. But not the way you think about what you need to eat, then wash, then something else. And just ask yourself and them: What would we like to do now? Lie on the sofa? Perfectly! Jumping on the bed without diapers? Excellent! That is, minimizing all sorts of "necessary" so that stress is as small as possible.
