When my husband and I were going to become parents for the second time, we were quite sure that I already know everything and ready to all. Four sown turned four, what could surprise with the second child - also a boy? It turned out, much. Moreover, communication with friends has proven - not only we have collapsed illusions about children's predictability.
"With the second child I can already organize everything correctly," I reasoned during pregnancy. - Nothing new thing is not foreseen.
The soul was a hard belief that as a mother formed me a senior son. I was not ready for discoveries and change. However, each next child in something changes completely all members of his family.
It became more complicated, and easier
We knew: it would be more tiring. It will be at least louder. But they did not know that it would become more expensive - always believed that it was enough to buy all the older child, and then use them with the following.
The second did not come through the first things first. In fact, all the clothes still had to buy. And I retained all the outfits of the eldest son. However, the difference of seasons affected. Senior was born in the summer, the youngest winter - so it was not possible to context the wardrobes.- How is it - he is almost nothing? - the husband was surprised. - And why did we still stored all this stubbornly?
I just silent. A person took away the warehouse as it turned out, half of the garage, it has the right to resent. It was necessary to sell everything, and the money on a closed account - now they would just buy everything to them by the second child.
But in domestic issues, over time, it became much easier. Children early began to play with each other. In some ways, I'm even more free than first vacation care for the child.
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"To our surprise, with two children, sometimes much easier," Christina's friend agreed (her girl is 6 years old and a boy 2 years old). - They play a lot with each other, sometimes even for a long period of time. And the older turned out to be an indispensable assistant. With the second child I myself is more relaxed. And incredibly proud of the eldest. She was jealous, but quite shortly at the very beginning. She has enough patience to show his brother the world and tell everything about him. I did not even dreamed about such.
"Ideal" turned into a synonym for "impossible"
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With the first child I promoted a natural parenthood. For example, fed at the request of hours. It was wonderful - I am at the same time resting next to the baby. When children are two, such a scheme does not work. At least need to get up and cook eating a senior. Not to mention the fact that he constantly needs attention.
But the process of breastfeeding was to establish much easier. The body probably remembered how it is done. Senior I approximately a couple of weeks after giving birth to the mixture and constantly told himself that it was not a crime. From the bottle, fortunately, managed to refuse. And the second it was not needed at all. Although I was sure that I would again pass through all the flour of GW.
However, I know several women who were with the second children were forced to turn to the mixture. It's just that at least once during the night a husband could stand.
"I generally feel a traitor," said the name of Catherine. Prevented when the older was four months old, it became impossible to feed the breast. Translated into artificial food. The second had problems with applying because of the bridle of the language. While docked correctly - the senior will turn the apartment upside down. So also could not feed for a long time.
It is forbidden to hurt
Maybe someone can scientifically explore why the mother never hurt? Of course, a runny nose can happen or a hint of migraine. But the mother is clearly immune to truly unpleasant diseases, such as flu, for example.
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"I have four children, and I haven't been sick" right "for a long time: so to lie down and tremendous," Mom Svetlana told. - At the very first signs, I always accept something on a vegetable basis so that the disease will be quick. If it does not help, the heavy medico-free artillery goes into battle. A few years ago I got sick quite seriously. But even at the moments of exacerbation, it was necessary to get up, prepare, to pay time to children. He recovered phenomenally quickly.
I think something is there. I myself have two brothers and sisters, and my mother almost never sick. Now I understand why. Moms are superheroids and this is their superpower.
Important topic: jealousy
Everyone always suggests that the baby will be almost an enemy for a senior child. We were ready that permanent quarrels are waiting for us and almost fights for love, attention and praise. But, as it turned out, in this matter it depends exclusively from parents. To establish relationships between children, it is extremely important to be attentive to the first child, especially in the first days. That's what we did for this:
- asked friends and relatives when they will come with the obligatory visits of politeness, bring gifts not a newborn, and the eldest son. Little is still still, but the first did not feel deprived. In the end, all the same toy children played together.
- Allowed the eldest briefly to become a baby again: for four-year-old children, completely normal after the appearance of a "competitor" wanted a bottle, suck the nipple and squeeze into the autolo. Phrases like "you are already completely adult" have a reverse effect. Our couple had a couple of days to lose interest in things of a small brother.
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- Maximum attention - the eldest. After the birth of the baby, his son was important to constantly hear that he was loved. We tried to organize everything so that he did not have the feeling that he was replaced.
- Become allies. I told my son, as I once didn't like that my younger brothers were born. We laughed together how I asked the bike and offered to exchange both babies on it. But then we made friends and love very each other. And the son of his uncle also loves and does not imagine life without them. Pope also connected, which shared his memories about when his sister appeared. He cried and asked why Mom did not give birth to a horse. But later I loved the baby and always defended it. As soon as the son realized that his feelings were completely natural, he became much easier to cope with them.
Happiness for all
To appoint a grandmother for the role of nanny? Ask for a neighbor to take older from kindergarten? For some reason, I always had problems with this. It seemed that my children act on the nerves, and my request for help would additionally annoy. But it was with the birth of the second child, I suddenly found that I love my babies. What is enough to ask - and help appears.
For example, once I called my brother's wife, with whom we never had close relationship, and complained that I was tired. She arrived in an hour and played with the elders while I was engaged in the baby.
"I love children," the daughter-in-law admitted. - While there is no one, Dyunchalchi. And your paws are! Thank you for invited.
It was the main awareness of that period. That and my husband and I are not alone soldiers on the battlefield, and our boys are not all unpleasant creatures. Yes, they run and noisy. But still there are those who want to spend time with them and help us. I did not trust anyone anyone because of my mother's complexes. It turns out - in vain. Children are not a burden, children - happiness for the whole family.