My wife Lena is a unique person in all spheres of life. On that day, when we learned that the family would soon become more, she began at work a large project, designed for a year. Moreover, I knew perfectly well what was pregnant. You, women, it somehow feel, yes?
- Sobmo! - said Lena with burning eyes in response to my doubts.
And immediately I want to clarify - it combined. But it's not about how my wife returned to the project an hour after childbirth and successfully led him with a baby in his arms, but about those nine months when the first gray hair began to break through.
I thought so does not happen
When I told my friends in a male company that I would soon become a father, everyone was delighted for me. All have already had their children besides me. The conversation somehow came to myself about pregnant faders of the wives.
"Yes, in general, it is exaggerated," said one friend.
"For sure, except that there will be more," supported his second. - But this is understandable.
"Well, maybe pay a couple of times," the third added. - Hormones.
And naive I believed them. As if I forgot that my Lena man is.
"Sobbing" above the cup
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A few days later I woke up in the morning from some strange sounds, similar to sobbing. "It began," I thought, remembering the hormones.
I went to the kitchen and discovered that the wife sits on a cup of coffee, closing his face and crying with his hands.
- Lena, dear, everything is fine! - I rushed to her. She turned ack for me.
- Are you laughing? I asked stupidly.
- Well yes.
- And what's funny?
- five years tried to throw drinking coffee, and it turns out, it was necessary to just get pregnant. Now I can't do a throat! "And she walked laugh again."
It was only the beginning.
"Hold on, man!"
Toxicosis covered my wife everywhere everywhere. She constantly drove with her a large roll of paper towels and several plastic bags. Once she called me and said:
- Come urgently! - called the address and threw the phone.
I arrived at the specified intersection and found that Lena stopped the traffic police inspector. On which it also broke out - right on the form. From the shame, the wife was barliced in the car and flatly refused to go out.
- What, pregnant? - asked the inspector.
"Yes ..." I sighed.
- Hold on, peasant! Here is her documents, go!
Study of varieties of washing powder
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After some time, Lena called and asked to buy all the washing powder in the store, which is and bring home. But only powder, no gels.
She opened each bundle and sniffed.
- Not that, not that. All is not that!
- And what do you want?
- I do not know! - And Lena loosely buried.
What's the taper tastier
To confess, I always considered the fiction that pregnant eating chalk. But no, after some time, Lena brought all the chalk, which found in the stationery store. Despite my words about harmful dye, she sat down with hobby.
Having tried everything, came to the conclusion that the most delicious chalk - yellow.
Every week after this event, I skied the pack of chalk, chose from them to a separate package exclusively yellow and vegetable home. She dared to the last piece on the fights.Is the baby harmful to the child
The next seizure occurred too soon. I still did not come from chalk.
Lena came to the conclusion that activated coal wants insanely. Ate ten packs at work, drinking sweet tea. I cleaned my teeth and got more coal. At home we cried all night, which could harm the child so much medicine. I could not stand in the morning and called a friend to a doctor.
- Who is it? He asked a sleepy voice.
- Please, I beg you, tell my wife that she did not kill the child with coal!
We must pay tribute to the talent of a friend - after a half-hour conversation, Lena calmed down, and we were finally able to sleep.
Sad Books, Sad Movies and Sad Music
I tried my best to surround my wife with positive emotions. But to predict that it affected it was impossible.
She could upset because of a comedy with Jim Kerry, because everyone laugh over him. It's cruel.
Classical music was constantly playing in our house. But not all was recognized as suitable. Wagner is nothing, Beethoven, too, and from too beautiful works of Mozart wanted to cry.- Which sad book! - He stated his wife in one evening, laying the Tomik to the side.
I looked at the cover. It was "Three in the boat, not counting the dog."
At work - an excellent specialist
The most inexplicable was that at work the Lena did not change. On the contrary, there was a feeling that her mind with pregnancy even aggravated.
She led a large project, worked, not to twist. And only at home turned into a pregnant tyrant, demanding a shrimp and raspberry jam at night.
The closer there were childbirth, the more I was worried. Lena still regularly watched documentaries on this topic. I looked only alone and went to look for Valerian.
Last trial before childbirth
But the most important jokes of Lena designed at the end.
She went to pregnancy quite a lot and walked on yoga. So this time went with colleagues after working on the rink. Well, yes, 40 weeks, nothing unusual.
At the rink of her water and moved away. Lena called me, chewed the last piece of yellow chalk and drove to give birth.
Bore almost in the corridor. I arrived, nervous, gray, sweating, with a twitching eye, and I already have a child.
They say women forget all the difficulties associated with pregnancy and childbirth when they take the children. So, men, too, so - took this kulek and immediately forgot how rushing in attempts to fulfill the requests of a pregnant wife. It was worth it.