It is said that children's resentments are very difficult to eradicate. Apparently, it is true, because they prevented me to live normally for many years ...
I grew up without dad. More precisely, parents divorced when I was six years old, and the sister is eight. Before that, they had attempts to disperse, and Mom had even left for another city, taking us. Perhaps she wanted to tear her husband. The official divorce finally put the cross on their relationship, and everything began so well.
They met when they worked as teachers in the same school. In addition, Mine Aunt and father's parents for a long time communicated with their families and were not at all away to encourage. Young wedding played in 1989. A year later, my sister of Nargiz was born, and after two I was born. At that time, our life was perfect, and we were happy. So it lasted until the dad suddenly changed the place of work. He left school and decided to do repair to receive more. He painted well, and he perfectly went out to make special drawings, which were fashionable in the 90s.
While was a physical education teacher, dad led a healthy lifestyle, did not drink and did not smoke. I think he simply did not get the company in a new place: his colleagues were abused by alcohol, sometimes even during working hours. Gradually, and my father was addicted to the "Green Zmia". He began to drink, and the scandals broke out at home. Mom and Pope lived together for nine years, but in the end, their marriage was still collapsed. This, of course, affected us with my sister.
After the divorce dad, for some reason I did not seek meetings with us, his daughters. Apparently, the fact is that he had a complex character. In school, I am insanely complexed that everyone has a father, and I haven't. Although he, in fact, was, but we extremely rarely saw each other and did not communicate. I lacked his love and care. Harmony coped over the years, but in the end it turned into indifference. When I became a teenager, I just decided to strike it out of my life. I thought why should I have such a father? We don't need him.
Years went ... I graduated from college, I met a future husband. At the end of 2014, we played a wedding. The spouse really wanted to get acquainted with my father, but I was categorically against it. For marriage, I did not invite Pope. I knew that it was wrong and perhaps it was selfish on my part, but still I decided so.
When I learned about it, the earth went out under his feet. I was very painful, I cried, regretted, grieving. Even if I did not communicate with him, I still knew that he was alive and well, and now ... it simply did not. I first felt that I really lacked him. Not enough now, lacked on the wedding day, lacked all these years. But by my words, unfortunately, not to return ...
Do I regret? Yes very. Unfortunately, my father went early, did not see his grandchildren. Perhaps there is also my wines. In any case, too late, do not fix anything. But I ask you to appreciate your loved ones. Speak, if something is wrong, do not silent, as I did. Do not hide offense by many years. It's like com in the throat.
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