If the family has no own palace, then there are often problems with the territory ...
Source: Resource Psychology. Psychological rehabilitation
We have already started talking about the alarming calls and these issues that are in relationships with close money, today we will talk about what happens to the space:
If you do not have your own palace, then often in families have problems with the territory. What could be here?
- no spatial boundaries in the familyYou will say "Stop, well what borders in the family, if we are five in a two-room apartment?". But, of course, there are boundaries in this case:
1. Lack of opportunity to close in places requiring intimacy (no curtain in the soul, no valves on the door, it is impossible to close in the room to change clothes so that no one has entered);
2. Lack of opportunity to work in silence (for example, close to refuse headphones, playing games or watching TV, while another person sleeps or works);
3. The absence of a test procedure is occupied by a person or free ("Come here" means "go here immediately", whatever a person would do);
4. The impossibility of sleeping, relaxation and recreation (for example, if you came from a night shift, sleeping in the apartment is still impossible or not yet, or a partner wakes up a second partner at seven in the morning on Saturday, if hung or bored);
5. Even if a person has its own space (desktop or room), it does not technically belong to it - it can take something at any time without clarification;
6. Significant prevailing of the ownership zone of one family member over others (for example, the grandfather has a working office, the balcony is busy with a fish inventory, in the bedroom he rests the day, and in the living room he is watching TV), while grandmother has only a kitchen, And mom and grandson are an eight meter room;
7. The ability to freely handle things, furniture or other property (for example, your game chair, bought on a premium, all the same grandfather can pick up for work behind the machine in the garage and return to the scorched and burned);
- lack of borders with separate accommodationEven if you left the parents or relatives, it does not mean that they left you. It is easily achieved by the following things:
1. The ability to come at any time of the day and night, without coordinating a visit;
2. The ability to rearrange, buy and throw out things or furniture without permission of the owner of the housing (for example, you go to the apartment after the holidays - and in your apartment is repairs to the taste of mother-in-law);
3. Invitation to your apartment familiar or even unfamiliar to you with the wording "devour them, there is a lot of space" (maybe with a joint stay).
All these things also testify to the violation of borders in the family and are often associated with the damage or simply unpleasant experiences. Of course, this is not the last part of why we can be difficult to close.