Nk'uko imibare, abashakanye bagera kuri 13 barwaye indwara yo kwiheba. Mu gihugu cyacu, ikibabaje, abantu benshi batekereza ko iki ari ibihimbano bya babyeyi bato bitateguye impinduka zikomeye mubuzima bwabo. Mubyukuri, kwiheba nyuma yo kwiheba ni ikibazo gikomeye cyimitekerereze bisaba ubufasha bwa psychologue nabakunzi. Muri societe, ntabwo ari ukutagaragara kuvuga uburyo kubyara bigoye gufata, bityo abantu benshi bagerageza kwerekana umunezero mugihe injangwe zitaka kurugingo. Abagore b'intwari bavugishije ukuri uko byahawe igihe gito.
"Nashakaga gusohoka mu idirishya"
Igihe kimwe, nagize igitekerezo kidahwitse ko nshaka kubyara umwana. Umugabo wanjye ntiyansangiye icyifuzo cyanjye. Yakundaga kubana, umuntu wa gatatu mu muryango wacu ntiyashakaga. Ariko ntibyambujije. Namwemeje, namaze imitsi n'imbaraga nyinshi, ariko, amaherezo, nabonye imirongo ibiri yifuza ikizamini. Ndibuka ibyo nishimye muri ako kanya. Ndetse no kubona umugabo wabuze k'umugabo ntabwo byambabaje. Gutwita byakomeje: Nakanye nk'amababa, nakoze, byinshi byo kugenda, njya mu nzu y'ikinamico, mfata inshuti z'abakobwa. Nta bimenyetso by'ibibazo.
Ukwezi kwa 8, umugabo yavuze ko yahukanye. Natangiye gutekereza uko nzakukana umwana wenyine. Ibitero by'agateganyo byatangiye, kudasinzira. Ndetse nasanze kubungabunga ibitaro kubera guhangayika buri gihe. Umuhungu yavutse afite intege nke, yarantandukanije na njye, umunsi wa mbere ntabonye umwana. Muri iki gihe cyose natakambiye muri ward, tekereza kuri mama mubi.
Murugo, ibintu ntibyabaye byiza. Mama yaje aho ndi kugira ngo amufashe, kuko nashize iminsi yose, ararira areba mu rukuta. Ntacyo nashakaga. Ntabwo nahuye n'umuhungu wanjye. Noneho ibitero byagaragaye: Namennye mama, umwana, ava mu rugo, akubita urugi rukomeye. Muri icyo gihe, nahoraga numvaga ari amakosa yanjye, nanga ndetse no kwibuka, mugihe runaka yatekerezaga kubyerekeye kwiyahura.
Nacyashakaga gusohoka mu idirishya, kugira ngo tutishyure kurira umwana burundu kugira ngo ntankeneye ikintu na kimwe. Mama yashimangiye ko nasuye psychologue. Ariko umuganga w'ihungabana ry'iposita ntabwo yasanze, yavuze ko byangoye ko byangoye, kuko nta muntu uri hafi iyo uwo muntu ashinzwe n'umugabo ahangayikishijwe n'umubiri.
Umunsi umwe, ubwo navaga mu rugo, mjugunya mama mama, nahuye n'umugabo. Yaranshiwe cyane, kandi ikinyagitabo cyagonze. Ariko umunezero ntiwanzaniye ubwo busabane. Ahubwo, nakomeje kwanga, natekereje ko umwana yagurishijwe ku mugabo muto. Hanyuma nahisemo kwiyahura, ariko mama yinjiye mu cyumba. Yabonye ibisate bitatanye kandi yumva byose. Twaganiriye kuva kera, twatekerezaga kubikora. Niba nanyoherereje kwivuza mubisobanuro bya psychonelogiya, bizaza kwangiza ubundi buzima bwanjye bwose. Ariko ntibishoboka kuguma muri leta nkiyi. Nagize amahirwe cyane ko mama yabonye psychotherapiste mwiza. Yansubije mu buzima.
Buhoro buhoro nize gukunda umwana wanjye. Noneho Umwana afite imyaka 4, kandi ndababajwe cyane nuko umwaka wambere utabishoboye kubera ukomoka kuri leta kugirango wishimire byimazeyo umunezero wose wababyeyi. Mperutse guhura numugabo twizeye ko uzaba umubano ukomeye. Aritaye cyane, ashimishije, yerekeranye numuhungu wanjye. Ndetse twaganiriye kubya byaba byiza tubyaye undi mwana. Navugishije ukuri namubwiye ibyerekeye kwiheba kwanjye nyuma y'iherereye, ntiyancira urubanza, ku rundi ruhande, ashyigikiwe kandi arabyumva. Nanjye ndashimira mama kumufasha, kuko atamufite ikintu nanjye. Ndashaka kugira inama ababyeyi bakiri bato kutaguma wenyine ibibazo byawe no gukomanga ku nzugi zose kugirango ibintu bitarangiza gucika intege.
Mubyukuri ko umugore ahuye na nyuma yo kubyara, ntakintu gitandukanye. Ahari imbaraga zikomeye ni imisemburo, kimwe no guhangayika, impinduka zikomeye mubuzima busanzwe. Kuba umubyeyi biragoye cyane, ariko ni umunezero mwinshi, ukeneye kubimenya kandi urwanire uburenganzira bwo kwishima.Birashimishije: Kwiheba nyuma yo kwiheba: uburambe bwumuntu kuri nyina umwe
Ati: "Ubuzima bwanjye bwahindutse iminsi mikuru ikomeye y'ibara imvi."
Mbere yo kuvuka, nabayeho imibereho ikora: nakoze, niganye, nakoraga siporo, nagenze cyane. Jye n'umugabo wanjye twifuzaga ko umugabo wanjye, maze kumenya utwite yari ategereje kuva kera, yari ijuru rya karindwi ku byishimo. Nagerageje gukomera ku mirire iboneye, yagiye muri yoga kubabyeyi b'ejo hazaza, amasomo yasuye aho twigishijwe guhumeka neza, shingiro ryo konsa, kwita ku bizome. Byasaga naho nariteguye byimazeyo kugaragara kwa mugabo muto. Nagiye kubyara ndamwije, ariko kuva mu ntangiriro ibintu byose byagenze nabi kuva nateguraga. Kubera iyo mpamvu, nakoze igice cyihutirwa cya Cesareya. Kandi guhera ubu, ihungabana rikabije ryankuye.
Sinigeze mbona umwana, kandi igihe namuzanye, ntabwo numvaga umunezero. Hanyuma amezi make nakoze ingurana na bamwe mubikorwa bimwe na bimwe bikenewe: Kupala, agaburira, yagendaga, yiyoberanya. Ariko muri ako kanya, byasaga naho ubuzima bwahindutse iminsi ikaze y'imizabibu. Ntakintu cyishimiye: Ntabwo impano z'umugabo we cyangwa umwana wambere umweka. Yatangiye guhindagurika. Mugitondo nabyutse utuje, kandi nyuma yamasaha make najugunye ibintu ndataka umugabo wanjye.
Igihe nagerageje kukubwira ibyambayeho, unkunzwe ntabwo nanyumva. Bamwe bagaragaje ko batari bakeneye kubyara umwana. Nabyizeye kandi mu bworo. Nababajwe nanjye ubwanjye, umwana utagize amahirwe nka mama, umugabo we, kuko atasobanukiwe abikuye ku mutima ibibaye.
Nashyigikiwe cyane na Mose: Umugabo, Mama na mushiki we. Nahamagaye mama na mushiki wanjye buri munsi, baranda muri terefone, kandi ntibumva ko hari ibitagenda neza kuri njye. Ibinyuranye n'ibyo, bihumurije, bagerageje gufasha, akenshi baza gufasha. Ndibuka ko umunsi umwe, igihe ntashakaga gutura, nahamagaye mushiki wanjye, igice cyisaha yari asanzwe ahagaze ku muryango w'inzu.
Yagiye mu masaha make hamwe n'umuhungu we, nanjye ndabyanga igihe ndaruhuka.
Umugabo yerekanye kandi kwihangana. Ashobora, afasha hafi y'inzu, ntabwo yishyuye, niba inzu itakuweho kugira ngo ageze ku kazi, kandi ifunguro rya nimugoroba ntiryagamye. Nimugoroba kandi muri wikendi, yakoraga umuhungu we kugira ngo ampe amahirwe yo kugenda cyangwa kujya guhaha. Birashoboka, narebye egostique na kamera, kuko miriyoni z'abagore zihanganye rwose nyuma yo kuvuka. Ariko psyche yanjye, ikibabaje, ntigishobora kwihanganira umutwaro nk'uwo.
Reba kandi: Umugore yasize umukobwa we wavutse mu bitaro. Nyuma yimyaka, yahuye numubyaza wabwiye amakuru atangaje
Gukunda umuhungu wanjye numvaga muri ako kanya, ibitekerezo byo kwiyahura byagaragaye. Nahagaze kuri bkoni, narebye hasi kandi ntekereza ko bizaba byiza, iyo iyi mibereho ikarangira. Ako kanya imbere y'amaso, nari ishusho, igihe narembika ku mbuga, kandi Vanecka yanjye irabagirana mu kurira. Kandi ntawe uzamushyira, hanyuma azabaho, afite kwita ku bana n'ababyeyi.
Mu rugendo i Burayi, nahuye na muganga wo mu Budage. Igihe namubwiraga ku byambayeho nyuma yo kubyara, yatunguwe n'impamvu ntari mfite ubuvuzi. Nigute ushobora gusaba imitekerereze ya psychotherapiste niba deportpartum yihebutse igupfutse? Yavuze ko mu Burayi kwiheba nyuma yo kubyara, birakabije, kandi ntibirengagiza isura ye. Turacyizera ko aba ari impinga y'umubyeyi ukiri muto. N'ubundi kandi, ba nyirakuru, ba nyirakuru na ba nyogokuru benshi barera abana, nubwo bakoraga, kandi nta gihe cyo gutekereza. Ndashaka cyane gutya no mugihugu cyacu mfata neza ko abagore bose badahita bahura nurukundo rudatuje kumwana.