Biragoye kwiyumvisha ko mama adashobora gukunda umwana we. Ariko rimwe na rimwe biraboneka, kandi ntizikwirakwiza umuntu wingenzi arashobora kwangiza
Mu buzima bw'ejo hazaza. Niba ushaka ko umukobwa wawe akura umuntu wishimye, kumukunda uko bimeze. Kandi urebe neza ibyo ubwira umwana, kuko amagambo yawe agira ingaruka kubindi
Umwana ukomoka mu minota ya mbere yubuzima bwe abona isura ya mama, kandi kuri we ni umuntu uhenze kandi wa hafi. Umukobwa azamenya, areba mumaso ya nyina, yumva asusurutsa, urukundo, inkunga. Ni ngombwa kuri we kumva ibyiyumvo bya nyina byo gukura, gukura, gushaka intego. Abakobwa bahambiriye cyane ba nyina, kuko aba mama ari urugero rwiza, ubwenge, ubumenyi bwubuzima.
Umwana utabonye igice gikenewe cyurukundo, isomo ryubugome mubuzima rijya kare. Mama arashobora gukurwaho, kutita kubantu, kwiheba, kandi umukobwa afite imihangayiko buri munsi. N'ubundi kandi, ntazi icyo agomba kwitega ku mugabo we kavukire. Akenshi abakobwa bagerageza muburyo ubwo aribwo bwose bwo kubaha mama, bakumva bakeneye kandi bakunda. Kandi bisaba imbaraga nyinshi, imitsi, imbaraga zingenzi, kandi ntizigera ku ntego. Mama akomeje gukonja, ubugome, ntabwo atanga ubushyuhe bwamarangamutima, birakenewe cyane kuri buri mwana.
Umukobwa udakunzwe mubucuti nk'uwo akora imyanzuro ko umubano hagati yabantu udafite agaciro. Ntibishoboka komerwa kumuntu, ikintu runaka kimuteze ikintu kuri we. Imbere yumwana Hariho amakimbirane akomeye: Umukobwa arashaka urukundo akeneye, kandi icyarimwe ashyira amarangamutima kumubano uwo ariwo wose.
Igihe cyo kumenya umukobwa ko nyina atamukunda, nk'ubutegetsi, akomeza gushaka urukundo. Imbere mumwana Hariho Dissonance: Ku ruhande rumwe, umukobwa asobanukiwe ko bidashoboka kubona urukundo rwa nyina. Ku rundi ruhande, akeneye cyane kumva ko buri mwana akeneye. Biragoye kwiyumvisha ibibera mubugingo bwumukobwa, nyina kavukire atameze. N'ubundi kandi, birasanzwe kandi bishyirwaho na kamere - gukunda no kurinda umwana wawe. Iyo binaniwe, biragoye cyane kubaho. Rimwe na rimwe kugira ngo ahangane n'icyaha kuri nyina, afata imyaka myinshi.
Abakobwa badakunzwe babaho ubuzima bwabo bwose hamwe nibikomere byumwuka bakiriye mu bwana buva mu muntu kavukire cyane. Mubisanzwe, bigira ingaruka ku iherezo ryabo. Akenshi abagore nk'abo bafite ibibazo mu mibanire y'abantu, ntibashobora kubaka ubuzima, ariko bakaryozwa, ntabwo ari nyina udashobora cyangwa ushaka gutanga urukundo n'inkunga akenewe.
Ababyeyi badakunzwe barashobora gukoresha inkubi zikurikira, yerekana ko hatabaho ubushyuhe bwamarangamutima nubwuzu. Niba umukobwa yumvise aya mabwiriza yavuye kuri mama, akababara, mbere ya psyche yabana no kwihesha umwana.
Soma kandi: Ni ayahe mabwiriza mama atagomba kuvuga umukobwa we
Iyo duhuye, tubabara, turakomeye kandi turababara, nibibazo byacu twiruka kuri mama. Nubwo bafite imyaka ingahe: 4, 10, 20, 20 cyangwa 40. Nta myaka iyo ari yo yose, urashaka guhoberana mu muntu wa kavukire kandi wumve inkunga. Iyo roho ibabaye, amarira ararindwa. Ariko aho kuba amagambo ashyushye no guhobera, umukobwa udakubayeho yumva mama ati: "Winge ute? Gukaraba nonaha amarira, ntakintu cyo kurira.
Uramaze cyane kandi urashobora gukemura ikibazo, kandi ntukibeshye. " Umukobwa yumva ko ibyiyumvo bya nyina bidashimishije. Mama yemera ko ikibazo kidakwiriye kumwitondera. Niyihe nteruro nkiyi ishobora guhabwa umwana atwimva kuri mama? Umukobwa azareka gusangira ibyiyumvo bye, azakomeza amarangamutima yose imbere, bizagira ingaruka mbi kumiterere ya psychologiya no kumubiri. Hazabaho ibibazo mu kubaka umubano w'abantu kandi, birashoboka cyane, ntibizashoboka gutunganya ubuzima bwite.
Ni iki kizavuga umubyeyi wuje urukundo ushaka gutera umwana? "Cute, Ndi kumwe nawe, ndi hafi. Tuzabona rwose inzira yo kuva mu bihe. "
Umwana yashyizwe ibintu byinshi, kandi yumva ko gukunda ababyeyi bakeneye kuboneka. Niba umubyeyi avuga imvugo yumukobwa nkumukobwa nkumukobwa asozaga ko urukundo rutari kumva ko twahawe hejuru, ahubwo ni ishusho yumuriro uhanahana. Mama azakunda gusa iyo umukobwa akuyeho ibikinisho inyuma, azakora amasomo, agenda n'imbwa, nibindi.
Amagambo nkaya yavuzwe niki na nyina ayoboye? Umukobwa Ubuzima bwanjye bwose uzagerageza kubona urukundo rwa Mama, nubwo yibagiwe ibyifuzo byawe nibyo ukeneye. Birashoboka cyane ko hamwe n'abana be, azitwara kimwe na nyina.
Ababyeyi bigenga bumva ko urukundo ari ibyiyumvo bidashidikanywaho, impano ihabwa buri muntu. Ni ayahe magambo ahari umwana wa mama? Birumvikana ko murasa, wakoze ibibi, ariko ndacyagukunda, uko byagenda kose. " Gukunda Mama burimunsi guhobera no gusomana umwana, bimubwira ko akunda, kabone niyo yaba adakaraba amasahani cyangwa akayabonye ikimenyetso kibi kwishuri.
Bibi, niba umuntu agabanya abandi kubantu beza kandi babi. Ariko yibasiwe kabiri niba ikora nyina wa nyina. Kumenagura kuri kuki, umutobe wamenetse, isabune yijwi, sasita itihangane - utuba ari trifle iyo ari yo yose ihindura umwana we muri "mbi". By'umwihariko niba hari umukobwa "mwiza" uri hafi, wiga kumiterere runaka, ntuzigere wanduye, uhora wumva ababyeyi.
Iyo nyina ashyira umuturanyi cyangwa umunyeshuri mwigana nk'urugero, mbere ya byose, kwihesha agaciro gutangira kubabara umukobwa we. Yumva ko atari mwiza bihagije kugirango akwiye urukundo. Niba ushaka kuzamura umuntu wiyubashye, ntuzigere ugereranya nabandi bantu. Urashobora kugereranya ibikorwa byumwana mugihe gitandukanye, ariko burigihe utange ibihe byiza. "Ubuki, uhora wambaye ikigo cy'incuke, kuki udashaka uyu munsi? Hari ikintu cyabaye? " "Ni amagambo nkaya afasha umwana gutera imbere, kandi ntagereranywa na Olya," ari mwiza kukurusha. "
Reba kandi: "Ntabwo nkunda umwana wanjye ..." - Icyo wakora niba mama cyangwa papa atigeze akunda umwana kavukire
Birumvikana ko umurimo w'ababyeyi ugomba gutanga ibyifuzo byibanze byumwana (ibiryo, umushahara, uryame, ukurikira umutekano). Ariko abantu bakuru bamwe bizera ko ntakindi bisabwa. Ntabwo bakoresha umwanya wabo wubusa wo gushyikirana no gukina nabana, kandi ibibazo byumwana bifatwa nkibitari byiza.
"Mama, ntamuntu numwe ushaka gukina nanjye mu gikari" - Umukobwa muto ugabanijwe nubuziranenge.
"Nibyo, kandi ibyo, gukina bonyine. Umukobwa wa Mana yakuyeho ibikinisho byinshi. Umwana yumva ko ikibazo cye kidakora kuwo ukunda. Nyuma yaho, ibi bizaganisha ku kurimbura hagati ya mama n'umukobwa, ndetse no gutakaza umunezero muri nyina.
Muri ibi bihe, mama wita kubantu kandi ukunda azagerageza hamwe numukobwa kugirango amenye icyateye abana badashaka gukina hamwe. "Birashoboka ko ufata ibikinisho muri bo cyangwa kumena igihome cyubatswe kuva mu mucanga? Reka twubake ikibuga kinini cy'umucanga hamwe! ".
Svetlana, ufite imyaka 38:
"Ntabwo tuvugana na nyoko imyaka myinshi. Kuva namusiga, nta sano rwose. Mbega ukuntu nibuka ubwanjye, Mama yahoraga yambabaje. Ntabwo ari ku mubiri, oya, ntabwo yakubise, ntabwo yahannye. Ariko buri munsi numvise, icyo ndi impano, ntabwo nzabigeraho, nzakora nka manitor no kwikuramo. Muri icyo gihe, nahoraga nize neza, narangije ishuri mfite umudari wa zahabu. Noneho ndumva ko nagerageje kwerekana nyina, ikintu gihagaze mubuzima. Hanyuma yinjira muri kaminuza, ariko ntiyatuza. Ntiyakundaga ibintu byose muri njye: isura, imico, imyitwarire. Kuri njye mbona adakeneye kubyara na gato. Ibyiyumvo nkibyo nangije ubuzima bwe imbere yanjye. Hanyuma nakoze inzika zose z'abana na psychologue. Sinigeze nshaka, ariko umuhungu wanjye yarabyaye. Ibi, by, nabyo byabaye ikintu gisekeje kibi n'ibirego bya nyina. Igihe nari mu bitaro, yahamagaye, ariko ntabwo yishimiye, ariko afite byinshi kuri njye. "Nigute ushobora kubyara udafite umugabo? Ni nde uzakura? Umuntu ufite umusatsi uzakomeza ijipo yawe? " Muri ako kanya nazimye kuri terefone mpitamo guhagarika umutima rwose. Buri gihe mpangana umuhungu wanjye, mpora mvuga uko mbikunda. Twese hamwe dukemura ibibazo byose, kandi ahora avuga ko yishimiye cyane mama. "Elena, ufite imyaka 29:
"Dufite umubano mwiza na mama. Yahoraga asaba kwitabwaho, nubwo ntari dukeneye. Sinshobora kubabarira ibyo yakoze byose. Hariho byinshi: gushinyagurira isura yanjye, gutotezwa, gutaka. Igihe mama yari mu rugo, nashakaga kwihisha mu mfuruka no kwicara aho kigiye kugenda. Nabonye mama b'abakobwa bakunda, guhobera, ubufasha. Ntabwo nari mfite ibi. Ubu ndi umukobwa wanjye ubwanjye, kandi nzi neza uko utashobora kwitwara hamwe numwana. Sinumva uburyo udashobora gukunda umukobwa wawe. Mfite ibyiza, nkunda, byiza, kandi byiza "nzaba byinshi" kuruta "mbere". Biteye ubwoba kandi bikomeretsa mugihe umuntu wa hafi atagukunda. Ibi bizagomba gushyira ubuzima bwanjye bwose, urashobora gukenera ubufasha kumurwi wa psychologue. Ariko hamwe nabana bawe, gerageza kwirinda ayo makosa mama wawe yakoze. Ntugasubiremo interuro ye, kubinyuranye, gerageza kubungabunga no gufasha abana bawe. Bagomba kumva urukundo rwawe, hanyuma ubuzima bwabo buzishima.