Ikibazo mu mibanire?
Ubwa mbere ukeneye gusobanura igitekerezo cyibibazo. Muri psychologiya, ikibazo nikibazo muri couple, mugihe uburinganire buhungabanye. Ibi biganisha ku kwigaragaza imbere no hanze yo kutanyurwa. Mubisanzwe, bizagaragarira mumyitwarire, ibyiyumvo, ibitekerezo. Ariko njye, nkumuhanga wa psychologue, ukorana nabashakanye, ndakugira inama yo kwishingikiriza ku bundi busobanuro ko ikibazo gifatwa nk'impinduka zishaje muri psyche, iyo umuntu adahuye n'imyitwarire yashaje n'imyitwarire kuri a Umufatanyabikorwa, uburambe. Uku gusobanukirwa nikibazo nibisanzwe rwose!
Niba tuvuganye n'abashakanye, ni byiza kwibuka amagambo ya Leo yitwikiriye "imiryango yose yishimye isa, umuryango wose utababaje utishimye mu buryo bwarwo." Hariho ibyiciro byinshi byibibazo mumibanire.
Hano hari psychologue y'Abanyamerika na Virginia Sargiriya. Isobanura ibibazo kubibera ibyabaye muri couple. Ni ukuvuga, umubano uhindure mugihe runaka, ahubwo ni ibyiciro bikomeje mubuzima bwumuryango.
By'umwihariko gukiza ibibazo byunvikana no kuza umwana wambere kubashakanye. Ifite uruhare no kubura uburambe, kandi gukenera kureka ubuzima bwashyizweho mugihe ibintu byose bimenyereye ibyo umwana akeneye. Mubihe byose, iyo umugore atanga umubyeyi, umugabo aragenda inyuma. Ntabwo afite imbaraga zihagije, igihe, icyifuzo. Ibi nibisanzwe.
Ariko hano utangira ibibazo. "Ntumfasha!" - "Kandi ninjiza amafaranga!" Ntawe ushaka kumvikana. Noneho ibi ni ubusambanyi bworoshye, igihe cyingimbi cyumwana. Kandi, amaherezo, syndrome ya nest yuzuye, mugihe ababyeyi bumva bitari ngombwa.
Hano haribihe. Ibyo navuzwe haruguru, igipimo kubashakanye. Kuri imwe cyangwa kurwego, buriwese yahuye nibibazo muribi bihe byubuzima. Kandi hariho ibihe bidasanzwe - iyo ndwara, urupfu rwumwe mubashakanye, ubuhemu, gutandukana.
Byongeye kandi, nta muntu wahagaritse ibibazo byimyaka 10, imyaka 20, imyaka 30 yubukwe. Kandi hano ndagira inama abashakanye kudakurikiza ibisobanuro byikibazo cyawe cyimibare runaka, kandi tekereza guhita bigorana impamvu nibintu byihariye.
Ese imyifatire y'abafatanyabikorwa yagize ingaruka ku mibanire y'abafatanyabikorwa bashakanye? Bamwe barashobora kurongora mu kigero kinini cyane, mugihe abandi, nyuma yimyaka 40, barokotse gutandukana.Ntacyo bitwaye mugihe imyaka abantu baza mubucuti. Gushyingirwa ni, mbere ya byose, guhitamo. Kandi mugihe hari ikibazo no kutumvikana mumuryango, ni ngombwa kumenya impamvu yibibi mumibanire, itabogamye rwose. Urashobora kuguma ushaje! Niba tuvuga imyaka, tugira ingaruka kumyaka yabana.
Yego birumvikana! Niba tuvuga kubibazo byumyaka yambere yumubano - Uku ni ukubura uburambe, ubuzima no kwanga kwihanganira gushiramo hamwe namategeko buri wese mubashakanye adakoreshwa. Kurugero, mumuryango wumugore we, imirimo yatangajwe nabagize umuryango bose, kandi abagore bishora kumugabo we.
Mu ntangiriro yubuzima bwumuryango, insimburangingo ". Twaraguze tuti: "Twagiye muri firime", twaraguze "," twafashe "n'ibindi. Ariko singira inama yo kubivuga. Uri ikipe, umuryango winshuti, ariko muribintu byombi. Slaring iganisha ku nyungu, hanyuma ibangamira umwe mubafatanyabikorwa. Ubu ni inzira imwe cyangwa izindi ziganisha ku bisari. "Nashizeho imyaka yanjye myiza!", "Nshobora gukora umwuga mwiza!", "Aho gukomeretsa diaper, nashoboraga kwiga Igishinwa!" - Ibi nibidashoboka mubintu byimbitse amaherezo byasutswe nububi kumufatanyabikorwa. Ntawe ushaka gushinja, ariko ashinja undi.
Niba tuvugana ubuzima bugufi hamwe, noneho ibitera amakimbirane n'ibibazo birashobora kuzimangana kwa libido, guhindura inshingano za libido, guhindura inshingano za libido, impinduka zuruhare (zabaye nyirakuru).
Nigute wabuza ikibazo mubucuti?Ubwa mbere, ni ngombwa kandi kurengera imipaka ku giti cye. "Ikosora - Ndimo nibaza", "azahinduka" - ibyo byose ntazashira. Kuki twubaka imipaka yacu? Nibyiza mbere muri byose kugirango utababara cyane. Birakenewe ko umufatanyabikorwa. Niba wubatse umupaka wawe, ntabwo ufite uburenganzira bwo kurengaho, kugenzura ibikorwa bye, ariko urashobora kugenzura ubuzima bwawe.
Urugero rworoshye. Ati: "Nzi ko ntashobora kuyobora undi muntu ku bijyanye n'amagambo atagira ikinyabupfura. Ariko ndashobora gushiraho imipaka kandi ndavuga ko ntazihanganira iyi myifatire kuri njye ubwanjye. " Ukimara kubivuga, mugenzi wawe azaba asobanuye neza uburyo bwo kubaka itumanaho nawe, kandi kuri we ntazatungurwa niba uri ishyingiranwa mumyaka itanu ukaba warababajwe nibi cyangwa ibindi.
Nigute abashakanye bashobora kumena imipaka ku giti cyabo? Kurugero, munsi yubuvuzi: "Ntugomba kwambara iyi myambarire! Ni bugufi cyane, urashobora gufata ubukonje. "
Witondere kutabona inyungu rusange, ahubwo ni intego rusange. Abashakanye benshi ntibavuga rumwe mumyaka yambere yo kubana, kuko batabona intego rusange, ishyirwa mubikorwa rya gahunda. Kandi ntiwumve, byose bigira ingaruka kumabanuka ya libido. Ninde uzifuza kuryamana numugabo utagusobanukiwe!
Aya ni amahitamo yose kuri Zoo "Bunny, injangwe, Latishka". Ababyeyi rero bahamagaye abana babo. Kandi ibi byose bikorwa bibi kuri libido. Ururimi rwumwuga ni igitsina cyimibonano mpuzabitsina! Mu myaka yambere, ntakibazo cyibibazo na libido. Hariho ibibazo by'itumanaho. Ntabwo tumenyereye kuvuga ku mibonano mpuzabitsina, ibyifuzo byacu, mu ngira isoni zo kuvuga ku mibonano mpuzabitsina, menya ishingiro. Muri kiriya gihe, ni ngombwa kwiga sexine, ni ukuvuga gushyira ibarura rishyushye mu kigero. Irakora.
Ariko syndrome yazimye yanze bikunze. Kunda umukunzi mushya biroroshye: udushya n'amarangamutima birakora. Bamwe ntibatekereza uburyo ushobora gushaka no gukunda mugenzi wawe mumyaka itanu, imyaka itanu. Biragaragara, birashoboka. Ni ngombwa kwibohora, kwagura imipaka y'ibishoboka. Amatora akora neza hano. "Ukunda iki?", "Ni iki kigushimishije?", "Urashaka iki kugerageza?" n'ibindi
Niba uhishe kubaza mu buryo butaziguye, gerageza uhitemo firime cyangwa ibitabo. Cyangwa no kumenya reaction yumufatanyabikorwa muburambe runaka, yabwiye inkuru, ivugwa ko yagira uruhare numukunzi wawe. "Tekereza, kandi umukobwa mukundana yaguze mask y'injangwe! Umugabo araseka, ubwoba! " Kandi urebe reaction.
Hoba hariho ibintu bifatika bigira ingaruka mubuzima bwimibonano mpuzabitsina?Impinga yimibonano mpuzabitsina kubagabo igera kumyaka 30, kandi igitsina cyabagore gihishurwa nyuma yimyaka 30 gusa. Igihe cyo kuva kumyaka 37 kugeza 45 kirasa cyane. Ni kuri iyi mpinga ko impinduka zabagore benshi. Ariko rero, nzareba ko abagore bagomba kwishinja ubwabo, bahindura "umugozi wabo" mumwana munini. Ariko muri iki gihe niho ari ngombwa gutera imbaraga, kohereza, gutanga kumva inkunga.
Bite ho kuri twe? Abashakanye kuri mugenzi wabo ni abantu ba hafi. Ariko gusa muri gahunda yo mu mwuka. Nta gukurura umubiri, nubwo ntakibazo na libido. Ariko ntabwo uri bene wabo!
Kubwibyo, ugomba kongeramo irari nubwuzu mumibanire. Ndakugira inama yo gukemura umuntu byose bishoboka. Reba hamwe alubumu namafoto, kora igiti cyumuryango hanyuma uzane umuco rusange. Kurugero, ifunguro hamwe. Shakisha ibishoboka byose, shakisha reassings muminsi mikuru, ingenzi kuri wewe gusa. Genda ku matariki.
Umugore arashobora "gufunga" mumibonano mpuzabitsina. Ibi bizafasha ubwoko butandukanye bwibinyamibonano mpuzabitsina. Umubiri wumukobwa urashimira bidasanzwe! Kubagabo - Uburyo bwo mu kanwa, mu gitabo.
Muri iki gihe, abafatanyabikorwa barashobora kumva, bemera guhinduka, guhinduka. Kubwibyo, biroroshye cyane gusubiza ishyaka. Birahagije gukora ibitamenyereye mumyaka yubukwe.